


Hypnos is not okay.

by Anonymous



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Eventual Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, M/M, Slow Burn, Suicide Attempt, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:40:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 41,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29053773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Zagreus keeps asking if Hypnos is alright, which is frustrating for two reasons: one, he’s not, he’s very, very much not, and two, there’s no way he’s going to tell anyone that, not when he’s worked for so long to maintain the image of himself as the ever-cheerful voice of positivity in the underworld.No one is allowed to know just how much Hypnos is not okay.Until they do.(Or: in which Hypnos tries to put himself in an eternal slumber, and Zagreus and Thanatos have to traverse the landscape of his mind to convince him to wake up, or risk losing him forever.)
Relationships: Hypnos & Thanatos (Hades Video Game), Hypnos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 318
Kudos: 389
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Chapter 1

“Hypnos? Are you alright?”

“Hm?” Hypnos blinked a few times, registering where he was and who had just spoken to him. It was a familiar scene, floating in the hall, a line of shades he’d neglected to attend to milling about, while Zagreus stood in front of him, freshly emerged from the Styx and still dripping with blood.

“Oh! Well, sure! Why do you ask?” he answered, pinning his usual smile to his face, merely an instinct at this point.

“Well, usually you’re asleep when I find you, but this time you were… awake? Hm. Now that I’m saying it out loud it doesn’t sound very concerning, but… I don’t know, you seemed kind of lost in thought? It was a look I’d never seen on your face before,” Zagreus explained in more detail than was probably necessary.

“Gosh, Zagreus, you spend that much time looking at my face?” Hypnos quipped to avoid addressing any of his real concerns.

“I—what? You know what, never mind. It’s good to see you awake, is all,” Zagreus backed off.

“Always a pleasure to see you back, as well!” Hypnos waved him off, but as soon as he was out of his sight, found his smile drooping back into a bored frown. His heart fluttered a little off-beat in his chest, and he gulped, trying to ignore the feeling. He was sure Zagreus didn’t mean anything by it; he couldn’t genuinely be concerned about  _ him _ .

No one was.

—

“Hypnos!” 

“Wha-ah! I’m up! I’m up!” he startled awake, bouncing his quil between his hands a few times before he finally got a grip on it. “Oh, Thanatos! Come to say hi?” he greeted his brother, though he could tell from the scowl on his face this wasn’t going to be a friendly visit. Not that they ever were, but, still. One can dream.

“And distract you further from your duties?” he scoffed.

“Hey, you never know,” Hypnos shrugged, adding a cheerful giggle to mask the way those words sliced through his heart like a knife. He should be immune to it by now, but somehow he never got used to his brother’s harsh ways. It stung the same each and every time, to be ignored and ridiculed by him, but he grinned and beared it, since it was the only time they spent together.

“No. I came to wake you, Hypnos. Get back to work, this line is piling up,” Thanatos said, gesturing to the hall, which, to his credit, was bustling with shades.

“Funny story, I was just about to you before you showed up,” Hypnos joked. Thanatos rolled his eyes.

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Well I—” Hypnos started another teasing retort, but Thanatos cut him off.

“I have work to do, and so do you,” he said, and promptly disappeared.

“Ah, well, it was nice chatting with you,” Hypnos said to the empty air where his brother once stood, and found his smile once again fading, his lower lip even quivering a little. He furrowed his brow then, pushing the feeling down and turning to the line of shades so he could distract himself with work. He didn’t want to think about why it was getting more and more difficult to keep up his mask of cheerfulness.

—

“Welcome to the house of Hades!” Hypnos greeted Zagreus the next time he returned, a little too distracted to make his usual comments on whatever had killed him that time.

“Uh, yeah. Good to see you too, Hypnos,” Zagreus gave him a funny little smile, and then wandered off to talk to the other members of the house, but Hypnos felt a pang of regret watching him go. He should have said something else, something that would make him stick around longer and banter a little bit. He got so few chances to talk to Zagreus, it was a shame to waste even one like that, but he was so in his own head he couldn’t think of anything less generic to say. 

He was surprised to suddenly feel tears pushing at the corners of his eyes, and panicked at the thought of anyone actually _ seeing  _ him crying. He glanced around, checking to make sure the line of shades wasn’t too long and no one was particularly paying attention to him, not that they ever really were, before floating off down the hall, towards his room. 

As soon as the door was safely shut, his facade cracked, and the tears fell from his eyes, dripping down his cheeks in two straight tracks that connected at his chin before falling to the ground. He blinked a few times, still more surprised that he was crying than actually upset, but then he remembered to breathe, and with the shuddering breath he took in, so too did all the weight of his unhappiness rush back into his mind.

“Oh, Zag,” he whispered, slumping against the door and rubbing at his wet cheeks with weakly curled fists. He sobbed and hiccuped through the tears, his chest twisting with longing, heart squeezing up at the thought of everything it was missing. If only he would actually see him, if only he would actually care.

If only  _ any _ of them would care.

He covered his face with hands, letting out a few particularly loud sobs before the feeling finally retreated back into the hollow cavern of his chest, settling to its usual ignorable level. He tilted his head back, letting the crown of his head thump against the wooden door behind himself, and took a few deep breaths as he blinked away his tears. His room, small but warm, the only place he truly felt comfortable to be openly himself, greeted him with all its usual red and gold drapings, vases of poppies he carefully arranged, and a bed of only the softest sheets and fluffiest pillows. His room was his place to indulge, to sulk, but also to heal.

Hidden in the folds of the blankets that piled up on his bed, were the only two objects in the world that brought him any real comfort. Outside of his room, he was ashamed to have made them, and to own them still, but in his room, where he could be honest with himself, he knew how important they were. They were the only way he knew how to cope.

He floated over to the bed, and gently settled himself in the middle of his nest of comfort, leaning back against the many pillows he had piled up against the headboard before reaching into the blankets to procure the first doll he’d sewn countless years ago. It was a likeness of his brother Thanatos, only about a foot and a half tall with buttons for eyes and string for hair, a set of clothes meant to mock his dour hood sewn to its plush body. 

“Dearest brother of mine,” Hypnos spoke then, mimicking the lower intonation of his brother’s voice as he moved the doll’s stuffed arm to touch his face. “You’ve been crying again. Don’t tell me I made you upset again?”

“No,” Hypnos shook his head, voice returning to his own. “For once it wasn’t you this time.”

“Not me? Then who? I’ll have their head for hurting my dear brother,” he voiced the doll, making it rest a hand to its heart at the dramatic proclamation.

“No, no, please don’t,” Hypnos shook his head. “It was… it was Zagreus. But he didn’t mean to!”

“Zagreus? Is he playing with your feelings again?” he spoke for Thanatos. “I don’t care if it wasn’t on purpose. He’ll pay for hurting you!”

“Oh, Than, you don’t have to be so protective of me,” Hypnos said. “I can take care of myself, you know.”

“But that doesn’t mean you  _ have _ to,” he said in his brother’s voice, and found himself tearing up again. He’d give anything to hear his brother say something like that.

“Well… I’m certainly glad you care so much about me,” Hypnos answered.

“Of course I do, I’m your brother,” he had the doll say, and then smiled a shaky, bittersweet smile as he pulled it into his chest and gave it a tight hug.

“I love you too, Than,” he whispered, letting the warmth of comfort seep into his heart, as fleeting as it might be. Eventually, he sighed, and released his hold on the doll, setting it aside to pull out the next one.

A plush doll in the likeness of Zagreus appeared next, sewn in same style with mismatched button eyes and a miniature robe wrapped around it, though he had to use fabric for the hair instead of string to get it to stand up like Zagreus’s did, and it was, albeit, slightly more detailed than the one of Thanatos, with orange fabric for the little round feet, a wreath of red and gold leaves sewn into the hair, and a charming grin embroidered to its face that he labored over for longer than he’d like to admit, trying to get it just-right. He’d made it not too long ago, deciding it would be nice to have a likeness of him to talk to when Zagreus started paying him enough attention to warrant a want of affection on Hypnos’s end. Thus, at the time, he chalked up the extra details to a difference in skill, since we was only a novice in needle crafts when he made the doll of Thanatos—it was the reason he’d taken up the hobby, actually—but now, now that he better understood the  _ nature _ of the affection he longed for from Zagreus, it was clear why he really poured so much extra time in to the crafting of his likeness.

He was in love.

“Hello Hypnos,” he spoke in his best rendition of the prince’s voice, though his voice was quieter, always a bit more hesitant to speak for him than for his brother. “Are you feeling better, now?”

“Yes, I am. Thank you for asking,” he smiled at the doll, letting his heart flutter as much as it wanted.

“I didn’t mean to make you upset, you know that right? I never, ever mean to hurt you,” he voiced the doll, bringing both of its arms up to touch his cheeks, which were still tacky with tears.

“I know, Zag. It’s my own fault, for getting so attached. I’m sure you… I’m sure you only mean well,” Hypnos said.

“It’s not your fault,” he shook the doll’s head. “If anything it’s mine, always getting your hopes up. It’s no wonder you like me as much as you do, with how much attention I pay you.”

“Well, that’s not fair. You could mean it all in just a friendly way…” Hypnos pouted, looking away, then had the doll touch his chest in a comforting gesture that, despite being manipulated by his own hand, sent a spark of thrill through him nonetheless.

“But I promise you Hypnos, I mean it exactly how you think,” he said, so enraptured in the scenario he’d created that his voice sounded exactly like Zagreus’s to him.

“You mean you—” Hypnos turned back to face him, eyes wide and hopeful.

“Yes, Hypnos. I love you. I care for you, and I want  _ only _ you… you’re so important to me. I want to be with you forever,” Zagrues said.

“Oh, Zag! I love you too!” Hypnos practically squealed, hugging the doll to his chest and squeezing it as tight as he possibly could. One last short burst of tears streaked down his face, but this time the feeling was cathartic, just what he needed to feel like himself again. The scenario he’d played out, false as it was, filled him with enough happiness to block out the gloom of his loneliness for a time, for though it never truly disappeared, these glimmers of joy were what kept him afloat.

He kissed the Zagreus doll on the head, gave Thanatos one last hug, and then quickly covered them back up with his quilted blankets and took a few deep breaths, readying himself to return to his duties. 

He was okay, now.

Or, rather, he was okay,  _ for now _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. Hello. Um... so I feel like I should explain what the heck this is because I am still baffled myself as to why or how I wrote this. First of all, I have never played this game and probably never will. I've literally just become so invested in Hypnos as a character (and Zagnos as a ship) from videos and art and fics. So, if anything seems weird or wrong about the characters or setting, that's probably why.  
> Secondly, I should probably address the doll thing. My only defense is that I've literally seen multiple different people make a joke about Hypnos having puppet or doll versions of various other people that he talks to to cope with the loneliness, and I just kinda ran with it because it was exactly the kind of thing that would make this story that extra bit of sad. So, yeah. I hope that makes sense?  
> And finally, this fic is gonna be long! I already have over 10,000 words written and I'm just barely starting to get into the thick of the plot, (the "eternal sleep" stuff doesn't start till chapter 4) so buckle in for a long ride. Which, to be fair, this is kind of a rare pair and a weird plot on top of that, so I don't imagine this is going to get a ton of attention, but I already have so much of it written that I figured, hey, why not post it in case other people might enjoy?  
> Alright I'll shut up now. I'll probably update the fic every couple of days, so check back soon if you're interested!


	2. Chapter 2

“Hypnos… is everything alright?” Zagreus asked.

“Huh?” Hypnos turned to look at him, flushing every-so-slightly with embarrassment at the realization that he’d probably been standing there awhile, or at least long enough to overhear the conversation he’d just had with Thanatos. His brother had come to ‘check in’ on him again—an excuse to yell at him for not getting any work done before teleporting away like he always did.

“Funny, didn’t you ask something like that before?” Hypnos tilted his head, deflecting the question.

“I… suppose I did. And come to think of it, you didn’t give me a very clear answer last time, either,” Zagreus said.

“Didn’t I? I think you’re misremembering,” Hypnos chuckled.

“Well, I… Hypnos. You’re distracting from the point,” Zagreus shook his head, the smallest pull of frustration dragging his brows together. “I was just trying to ask if everything’s alright between you and Thanatos. He doesn’t seem to be particularly…  _ lenient _ with you. Though, I suppose he’s that way with just about everyone, so…” he trailed off with a shrug.

“He is, isn’t he? And don’t worry about little old me, I’m used to it. I’m his brother, after all!” Hypnos said.

“Right,” Zagreus smiled, the tension in his brows easing, but he lingered in front of Hypnos for just a moment too long that Hypnos couldn’t help wondering if there was something else behind that smile, some inkling of concern, or disbelief, or morbid curiosity. But then, of course, Zagreus was off again, leaving Hypnos at his post to wrestle those feelings back down into the stormy depths of his heart.

Zagreus didn't mean anything else by it; he couldn’t mean anything else by it. 

It was foolish for him to dream that anyone, much less the prince of the underworld, actually cared enough about him to ask that question and mean it.

_ Are you alright, Hypnos? _

What a load of garbage.

—

At least, that’s what he told himself outside of his room. In the secluded warmth of his bed, the drowsy scent of poppies on the air, he pretended that Zagreus meant every word of that question and actually cared about the answer.

“Are you alright, Hypnos?” he said in the prince’s voice, holding the doll’s hand and imagining Zagreus’s fingers twined around his in a delicate touch that he, in Hypnos’s dreams, extended only to him.

“Oh, Zagreus, are you sure you really want to know? It’s not a pretty answer,” Hypnos said.

“Of course I do. Why would I ask if I didn’t care?” Zagreus answered.

“To be polite, I suppose?”

“Well, you’re supposing wrong. I’m asking because I care about you, Hypnos. I care very deeply.”

“Oh, Zag… No. The answer’s no, I… I’m not okay,” Hypnos admitted, his voice clenching in his throat as the sight of the doll in front of him blurred with tears. “I’m  _ never  _ okay.”

“Why not? What ails you, Hypnos? Is there anything I can do to make it better?” he asked in Zagreus’s voice, pretending that the red and green buttons, blurred as they were in his vision, were really the bright irises of his prince, finally seeing him, _ truly  _ seeing him.

“I’m so lonely…” Hypnos admitted, choking on the words. “I’m so desperately lonely, all the time. No one… Nobody talks to me. Nobody cares about me. My family thinks I’m lazy and stupid and useles…”

“But you aren’t,” he interrupted himself, moving the doll’s arm to touch his knee comfortingly. “None of that’s true. You’re talented and kind and clever and… and important. And, I can’t attest for anyone else, though I have a feeling they care more than let on, _ I  _ care about you _. I _ talk to you.”

“I… I know. But it’s not enough, my fleeting time with you, Zag…”

“Then let me give you more time. I’ll be there whenever you need me, for as long as you need me. Let me drive away your loneliness,” he spoke for the doll, but his voice broke at the end, stumbling into his own higher pitch and giving himself away.

“That’s a nice thought…” he whispered, the spell of his game mostly broken by then, but he still hugged the doll close anyways, letting the conversation run dry in exchange for imagining what it might be like to be held by Zagreus, to be touched by him. He was shorter than Hypnos, but broader and stronger. His arms would feel protective, his palms warm and chest as welcoming as a pillow under Hypnos’s head. He lied back in his bed, letting his still wet eyes flutter shut as he thought of sleeping in Zagreus’s embrace. It brought him more comfort than anything had in a long time, even if was marred by a deep, empty sadness of knowing it was something he would never have.

Or at least, something he could only have in his dreams. 

—

Despite what most people might think, Hypnos did genuinely try his best to stay on top of his work. When he drifted off to sleep, he wasn’t necessarily slacking off, he was just giving himself a break. He simply couldn’t go very long without sleeping; he wasn’t built to stay awake for more than two hours at a time, it seemed. He was sleep incarnate, of course he needed to sleep as often as possible, why would anyone expect otherwise?

Honestly, it was frustrating how little understanding everyone else had about his needs, especially his brother, since he’d tried multiple times to explain it before, but he was always met with disbelieving resistance or a careless brushing off of the suggestion. Gods weren’t supposed to need to sleep, so why should he be different? And if he really needed it, why couldn’t he wait for his breaks? It's not like he was being asked to work non-stop, he’d say.

But then, the other problem was that Hypnos’s work was, to put it bluntly, really depressing. Not that he found the idea of death itself depressing—he’d be far more miserable than he already was if he couldn’t stomach _ that _ —but the shades themselves were often confused and heartbroken, the pain of their death fresh in their minds, terrified of what lay in store for them in the afterlife, worried about those they had left behind or desperate to see someone they hoped was waiting for them in the underworld. And Hypnos, tasked with greeting them, was the only one they could pour their miseries out to, even if they didn’t mean to, many were so distraught or confused initially that it affected him anyways. Sure, Hades told him time and time again not to fraternize with the shades, just check them in like he was supposed to, but how could he _ not _ talk to them when he could hear the panic, the desperation, the heartbreak in their voices? And yet, it was that very sympathy that wore him out to the point of needing to tap out after one too many sob stories. 

So, yes, he did try his best to do his job, but his job was emotionally exhausting, and considering how fragile his mental state already was, it was a miracle he got anything done at all between his naps. Which, to be fair, meant that everyone was probably right in thinking he simply wasn’t suited to the job, but it wasn’t for the reasons they all thought, and it certainly wasn’t for lack of trying.

And there _ had _ been a time when he enjoyed his work, even if it was sometimes overwhelming. He hadn’t always felt like this, he knew that, but it all just seemed to snowball together, the stress of his work and the loneliness outside of it, that there was no way to escape the cycle and get back to how he felt when things were better.

Hypnos sighed, rubbing his temples to soothe his wandering thoughts. He’d had this argument with himself in his head countless times before, sometimes imagining how he might finally win an argument with Thanatos, other times more of a battle with himself, but it always went nowhere, or at least nowhere good. He always ended up convinced that he  _ was  _ just as useless as everyone said or feeling embarrassed for feeling so sorry for himself in the first place, since asking for pity was the last thing he wanted to do. He would just sound like he was complaining, and then everyone would hate him more. That’s why he always tried to keep a smile plastered to his face, keeping everyone under the impression that he was just a cheerful idiot. It was better than them thinking he was a depressed idiot, anyway.

But then, would anyone even care if he stopped smiling? They might notice, the change might be something that caught their attention for a brief moment, but would they care? Probably not. He’d just lose the one thing people actually seemed to like about him. Hades might fire him, Zagreus might stop talking to him, Thanatos might despise him even more. Or maybe nothing would change, but  _ that  _ would be even sadder, wouldn’t it? If Hypnos mattered so little that  _ nothing _ he did would change anything?

But wasn’t that how things already were?

“Hypnos,” his brother’s voice greeted sternly, and he straightened back up, grabbing his quil from the air and holding it to the parchment, mocking the motions of his job.

“I’m working!” he yelped, but then immediately regretted it when he heard the panic in his voice. Thanatos’s eyes flashed wide for just a moment, but his features quickly settled back into an unamused galre.

“So you admit that every other time I’ve come to find you, you haven’t been working?” he asked.

“Me? Not working? I’m always working, Than! I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Hypnos said, but his laugh faltered as he heard the words coming out of his own mouth. He was usually a little more clever than that in his replies, but he just didn’t have the energy to come up with anything else. That was becoming a theme as of late, wasn’t it?

“I didn’t think you were that delusional, Hypnos,” Thanatos rolled his eyes.

“What, it was just a little joke,” Hypnos shrugged. “Well. Since I’m already working, I guess you don’t have anything else to say to me?”

“I… no, I suppose not. Keep it up,” Thanatos agreed, and Hypnos, realizing his mistake, opened his mouth to say something else, anything else, that would keep him there a moment longer, but he was already gone.

“Will… do,” he whispered to the silence his brother left.

—

Hypnos awoke in his room, another break spent napping in the comfort of his bed, holding the dolls of his two favorite people in his arms so the first thing he saw when he lifted his sleep mask was the tops of their heads. He rolled onto his back, smiling to himself as he held them both up, looking between Thanatos and Zagreus as the remnants of memories of the caring words he spoke in their voices before falling asleep flitted through his mind like the last orange embers of dying fire taking to the sky: bright for a moment, but soon cooled to a grey piece of ash that was quickly forgotten.

He frowned, the knowledge that they would never say things like that to him in real life worming its way into his mind and eating away what little happiness he’d derived from it. He usually didn’t let those kinds of thoughts affect him while he was in his room, his _ sanctuary _ , but they were getting more and more difficult to fight off. That, and the dolls didn’t seem to be doing as much for him anymore. Whatever kind things he’d think to say for them would leave his mind as soon as he was back at his post, leaving him empty and lonely once more, which only made him want to sleep more and work less, which in turn made Thanatos more angry, and then he was too tired to talk to Zagreus and—

And he was really, truly miserable, wasn’t he?

His eyes drifted to his nightstand, then, to the little glass vial of clear red liquid he kept beside his most prized vase of poppies. He’d made it so long ago, a serving of  _ eternal sleep _ that was potent enough to keep even a god under his powers forever, but he'd convinced himself not to take it, leaving it on his nightstand instead as a constant reminder that there was always another option, always a way out. He bit his lip, his mind telling his arm to lift, his hand to reach out and grasp the vial, if nothing else but to hold it and consider, but his limb wouldn’t move. He was still too afraid.

“What am I thinking?” he said aloud, finally snapping out of it. His face flushed, head spinning at the thought that he really might have done it just then, might have consented to give his eternal life away for an everlasting slumber. He quickly made his bed, throwing the sheets over the dolls to hide them, though it wasn’t like anyone ever came into his room who might see them, then went to the mirror to straighten up. He readjusted his robe and cape, then nudged his sleep mask up so it was resting in just the right spot amongst his pale curls, assuring himself that he, at least on the outside,  _ looked _ like nothing was wrong.

He couldn’t let anyone know that he was anything but okay.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for all the support on this fic so far! I really wasn't expecting anything like that, so it makes me super happy to know there are so many other people invested in Hypnos like this! 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the second chapter--I'll be back with the third in a few days!


	3. Chapter 3

Hypnos was awoken by the sound of Zagreus marching down the hall towards him—he recognised the sound, now, since he was the only one who walked around barefoot all the time, and the only person who approached him from the Styx and not the the other side, save for the shades, who made very little sound at all—and he scrambled to look like he was working, not so much because he really thought Zagreus had any image of him as a hardworking servant that he needed to maintain, but because it was instinct at this point. Everything he did was, really: all his mannerisms were just rehearsed deflections, giving off the image of cheerful, lazy, fool everyone thought he was.

“Ah, wha—I’m up!” he said, grabbing his quill, and settling back into place, back straight and legs folded where he sat hovering in the air. Zagreus smiled at him then, and he gulped, feeling compelled to actually make an effort at this conversation for once. He glanced at his list to see what had killed him, and found himself tilting his head to side and giggling at least half genuinely, for once.

“Hey, my brother Charon killed you, am I seeing this right? He’s never been particularly nice to me, whacked me with his oar a couple of times, but it never got  _ that _ bad. Must have been a misunderstanding, have you tried talking to him?” he said.

“I have,” Zagreus said, not exactly sounding amused. “Though he isn’t much of a talker, is he?”

“I suppose not, no. Maybe just… don’t make him mad in the first place, then?” Hypnos offered instead.

“Noted,” Zagreus smiled, placing one hand on his hip as he looked up at Hypnos, tilting his head slightly. “And thanks for the advice. It’s been awhile since you’ve offered any.”

“Well, maybe it's been a while since you’ve  _ needed  _ any, have you thought about that?” Hypnos joked.

“No, I don’t think that’s the case,” Zagreus chuckled.

“Hm. I guess you’re right. If that was true, you wouldn’t still be here, would you?” Hypnos quipped.

“Excuse you,” Zagreus put a hand to his chest, mocking offense, but quickly dropped the act, and his smile went with it. “No, what I meant was… it seems like you haven’t been up to giving advice lately, if that makes any sense. I was starting to get worried about you.”

“You? Worried about little old me? Oh, stop,” Hypnos brushed it off, but inside his heart skipped a beat before promptly stabbing him with a painful reminder that he was being stupid for getting his hopes up. He didn’t mean it that way. He never did.

“Yes, Hypnos,” Zagreus said, his tone still just as serious, and Hypnos’s eyes widened, knowing exactly where this was going. “Are you—”

“Whoa there, Zag. If you ask me one more time if I’m alright I’m gonna—I’m gonna—” he struggled to find an appropriate threat, and felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment, and so instead put on his best I’m-totally-joking-here-but-seriously-please-stop tone to finish it out: “Well, I don’t know what I’m gonna do, but you’re not gonna like it!”

“Okay, okay,” Zagreus chuckled, backing up with his hands held up defensively. “I’ll drop it.”

“Hmph,” Hypnos nodded, still putting on that jokingly-offended air, and watched as Zagreus walked away with that funny little smile still on his face. As soon as he was gone, however, Hypnose sank down with regret. He knew he should be happy, he finally got Zagreus to pay attention to him for more than a couple of seconds, but somehow he still just felt empty inside. Zagreus wasn’t really seeing him, and if his continual prodding with that awful question was an attempt to, Hypnos had no doubt just made sure he’d never try to see beyond the surface ever again. Not that Hypnos really wanted him to, since in all honesty he’d probably either hate him or pity him, and whatever shred of a friendship they had now would be ruined. And so, he concluded, there was no hope at anything more with him, since he couldn’t get close at the distance Hypnos held him, and he wouldn’t  _ want _ to get close if he took a step beyond. 

It was hopeless, pointless, worthless: just like Hypnos.

—

“Hypnos.”

He was startled away once more by the stern clap of his brother’s voice enunciating his name with every drop of hatred and annoyance seething inside him. At least, that’s what it sounded like to be wrenched from a perfectly good dream by Thanatos.

“Huh? Yes?” he blinked his eyes a few times, adjusting to being awake. Sometimes he wondered if, technically, being awake was not his natural state, and he was really meant to be sleeping all the time, with just a few short bursts of wakefulness here and there. If that was the case, his long working hours were downright inhumane, but, alas, he had a feeling that argument wouldn’t get him very far with Thanatos.

“Sleeping, again. I was hopeful that the last time I spoke to you was the beginning of some kind of change, but evidently not. That was merely a freak accident, wasn’t it?” Thanatos said, his arms crossed and staring up at Hypnos with a cruel scowl.

“Or maybe, all of the other times you found me sleeping were the freak accidents! You  _ can  _ flip a coin one hundred times and get all heads, you know?” Hypnos deflected.

“That’s… clearly not comparable to what’s happening here, but even if it was, you realize that would imply you sleep through half your shifts?” Thanatos raised a brow.

“Huh, I guess you’re right!” Hypnos shrugged, forcing his smile a little wider.

“Hypnos…” Thanatos paused, sighing. “I don’t know how else to say this. You have to start working harder, or you’re going to lose your position.”

“Now, I don’t know about that. I haven’t lost my job yet, and there’s been plenty of opportunities for that!” Hypnos pointed out.

“No, you’re not listening to me. Hypnos, you’re not irreplaceable, do you understand that? If you don’t shape up, quickly, someone else is going to have your job,” Thanatos spelled it out for him, but he just didn’t have it in him to care.

“Oh, I hear you loud and clear, Thanatos! And, let me tell you, they will have the greatest job in all the underworld!” he said.

“I feel like I’m not getting through to you, brother,” Thanatos sighed. “Well, after the inevitable happens, don’t come telling me I didn’t try.”

“Don’t worry, I won't!” Hypnos said, but his brother left in the middle of it, not even waiting to hear his reply. Hypnos sighed, but then caught a familiar figure in the corner of his eye, and saw Zagreus standing halfway down the hall, looking frozen with a guilty frown on his face. He flashed a sorry look in Hypnos’s direction and then, seemingly deciding he probably needed some space after that conversation, walked quickly past him without even so much as a hello.

Of course Zagreus had to overhear another one of their one-sided arguments. And now, since he was forbidden from asking how Hypnos was, he had opted to ignore him instead of reaching out with even the most surface-level sympathy.

He floated there, frowning at the ground and letting the sting of that blow fester, when he looked up and, seeing a line of shades yet unattended to, remembered that Thanatos had actually had a  _ point  _ to his admonishment. 

He thought Hypnos was going to lose his job.

Well, good riddance, then. It only made him miserable, just like everything and everyone else in his cruel, lonely existence. And yet, if he really wanted to be rid of it, why didn’t he just walk over to Hades’s desk and resign? That would end it a whole lot faster than slowly and painfully flaming out by being the least productive employee in the history of the universe. But that would require actually admitting that he didn’t like his job and permanently cracking his facade of complacency and, somehow, that would be so much worse. 

So he picked up his quill, went back to his list, and tried to get a little more work done before he inevitably drifted off again and… got fired, he supposed. 

He didn’t have the energy to care, anymore.

—

Zagreus hadn’t spoken to him in a while. A few days? A week? He was starting to have trouble keeping track of time, not that he was ever very good at it before, considering how much he slept, but his grasp on even how much time past while he was awake seemed to be slipping through his fingers, something he’d probably find alarming if he wasn’t so numb to it all, now.

But missing Zagreus, having that tiny spot of light removed from his life? That still stung. Loneliness was funny that way, how an absence of something could pile up so big that it felt like being buried in an avalanche when the weight of it finally came crashing down on you.

Hypnos slammed the door shut behind himself, finally on a break again, and floated over to his bed so he could crash into the soft pile of blankets and pillows head-first. He laid there for a while, thinking he might have a good cry to get it out of his system, but no tears came even after he waited countless minutes. So, instead, he pushed himself back up to sitting, and lifted the blankets, looking for his dolls. He found Thanatos first, and held the tiny, plush version of his brother in his hands for a moment, trying to think of something to say, but yet again he came up empty. He supposed brotherly support wasn’t exactly what he was missing right now, so he gently set that doll aside, and quickly found Zagreus instead. 

He stroked a hand over the doll’s black, fabric hair, trying to form an enchanting scenario in his head, some way Zagreus might reach out and explain his absence, how it somehow all meant he really just cared about him, but he wasn’t feeling particularly creative, so he went with something generic instead.

“I love you Hypnos,” he mimicked the prince’s voice. “I’m sorry I’ve been gone. But I’m here now, and I need you to know how much I love you. I want to… to be with you. To make you happy. Can I do that?”

Hypnos bit his lip. He found it hard to believe himself.

“I… Zag, that’s a difficult task, to make  _ me _ , of all people, happy. Are you sure you wouldn’t rather be with someone… anyone else. Anyone else would be better for you…” he trailed off, looking down into his lap. This wasn’t making him feel particularly good.

“No, of course not. I only want you,” he tried to salvage it, tried to convince himself it was Zagreus talking, tried to convince himself it was even a little bit believable. “I love you Hypnos.”

“No… no you don’t,” Hypnos shook his head, tears finally finding their way to his eyes, but it wasn’t the cathartic kind. He felt all his hurt start to swirl in chest, igniting into rage. “Don’t lie to me, Zagreus! You don’t love me! You don’t even care! You never cared!” he shook the doll violently, finally starting to imagine that it was the real Zagreus as hot, angry tears poured down his cheeks.

“Yes I do! I love you Hypnos!” he made the doll say in a mocking parody of Zagreus’s voice.

“No you don’t! Liar, liar, liar!” he started beating the doll against the bed, picturing himself beating his fists against Zagreus’s chest. “You don’t like me… You don’t care… You just played with my feelings, and you—” he paused then, holding the doll still and squeezing it so the fabric crinkled and the stuffing shifted around. “And you didn’t even mean to. You didn’t even…” Hypnos found himself unable to continue, his lips wobbling as his tears filled his half-closed eyes, blurring his vision to the point where he could hardly recognize his own room.

“I don’t mean anything to you…” he whispered after a moment, setting the doll down gently. “I’m just… so stupid that I fell in love with the first person to really talk to me…”

Hypnos blinked through his tears, letting them fall to his lap and wet the pleated fabric of his skirt. He didn’t know how long it took, but he let himself cry in silence until his eyes were dry once more, though his cheeks surely shimmered with wetness even in the dim candle light. He just felt empty, throat a little raw, a faint headache from crying, one of his feet starting to fall asleep from sitting on it, but nothing else. Usually his room felt so warm and comforting, but now the dark, cold fingers of despair and loneliness had followed him in, reached into his chest, and wrapped around his heart to stop the spread of any other feeling through his body.

He was nothing, and there was nothing for him.

Not here, at least.

His head turned without him meaning it to, gazing upon the vial of  _ eternal sleep _ that rested on his night stand, and for the first time since he’d made it, he felt not a drop of fear at the thought of reaching out, grasping the cool, glass bottle, pulling out the cork, and letting its contents slip down his throat.

So he did.

His eyelids grew heavy first, and then, when he tried to arrange himself in a more comfortable position, found his limbs dulled with lethargy. His breath came out slow, his heartbeat slowing to a weak, imperceptible pulse, and his head crashed against the pillows behind him. The last thing he remembered doing was pulling the covers up and wrapping his arms around one of his dolls—Zagreus, he registered blearily—and thinking that for the first time in a long time, he felt truly, completely at peace.

He was going to be okay, now that everything else was going to go away.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When writing this chapter, I tried to like do a little research to write a response to Zagreus's death that would actually, like, feel real, so I rewatched a bunch of Hypnos moments compilations and ended up liking some of the real game dialogue so much that I just kinda slid it in there. I don't plan to do that much more, but idk I had fun with it in this chapter.
> 
> Also, this kind of wraps up Hypnos's POV for now because he is... asleep. Next chapter will switch to a more Zag centric POV.


	4. Chapter 4

Zagreus emerged from the Styx, frustrated that he’d died yet again, and it wasn't even at the hands of a powerful foe, but because he’d forgotten about a damn spike trap. He flicked the blood from his hair, fully prepared to get ridiculed for such a careless death by Hypnos, but when he lifted his eyes to the spot where he usually slept, found it empty. Again.

“Hm,” he hummed to himself, trying to remember how many times it had been now that he’d risen from the Styx to find Hypnos missing from his post. The first few times it seemed coincidental, maybe he just happened to be on a break, which had been the case plenty of times before, but it was starting to get ridiculous. On top of that, he hall seemed to be packed with shades, more and more each time, as if the line wasn’t going down at all. 

He looked ahead, and spotted Thanatos in front of his father’s desk, a rare sight if he ever saw one, and furrowed his brows. Something was definitely wrong.

“Excuse me,” he said, starting down the hall, and the crowd of shades, as packed as they were, still parted to let the prince of the underworld through. 

“I’m not my brother’s keeper, Lord Hades,” Thanatos was saying when Zagreus got within earshot. “But I’ll look for him nonetheless, if it is your command. In the meantime, you may as well give his position to someone else. This hall is a mess.”

“And well I should. You would not defend your brother’s position, Thanatos?” Hades rumbled in response.

“No, sir. How can I defend one who has abandoned their post, whether my brother or not?” Thanatos answered.

“Hm. That shall be my decision to make, in the end. Send him to me, promptly, so he can at least answer for this flagrant disregard of his duties,” Hades said, and then waved his hand to send Thanatos off so he could return to his paperwork.

“Is… Hypnos missing?” Zagreus asked, and Thanatos seemed a bit startled to hear his voice, but then nodded and moved closer to speak to him.

“Yes. Apparently he went on break and hasn’t returned for… well, no one’s really sure how long he’s been gone, but long enough that his work is piling up and Lord Hades has asked me to find him,” Thanatos sighed, shaking his head, as if he couldn’t believe it was _ his _ job to look for his missing brother.

“And you’re not concerned? I know he isn’t the picture of work-ethic, but it's not like Hypnos to literally abandon his post. Sleep at it, sure, but he’s never skipped a shift, has he?” Zagreus asked.

“I… suppose you’re right. Still, regardless of the cause, I’ll be shocked if this isn’t the final straw that gets him fired. And I told him time and time again…!” Thanatos started to get riled up, and had to take a deep breath to calm himself. “Well, anyways. I’ve got to get looking.”

“Wait, um—” Zagreus started, but then snapped his mouth shut. Hypnos had gotten angry with him one of the last times they spoke for exactly this kind of privacy-invading concern, so in all likelihood he wouldn’t want Zagreus tagging along, but on the other hand, he couldn’t imagine Thanatos would be very kind to him when he was found, so maybe he would appreciate a third-party presence to keep things from getting out of control? “Do you mind if I come with you?” he said, unable to convince himself not to. “I just… I’m a little worried about him, is all.”

Thanatos raised a brow.

“Suit yourself,” he shrugged, and then turned and motioned for Zagreus to follow. “I’m going to check his room first.”

“Oh, yes, right. A pretty obvious place to start,” Zagreus nodded, and followed him down the hall, allowing himself to be led into parts of the house he wasn’t normally allowed into until Thanatos stopped at an unassuming door and gave it a loud knock.

“Hypnos? Are you in there?” he asked, and then waited with his arms crossed for him to answer. When none came, he sighed, and summoned a ring of keys, sorting through them for a moment until he seemed to find the one he was looking for.

“Whoa. Are those the keys to every room in the house?” Zagreus commented, trying to lighten the mood a little.

“No. Only the ones I have access to,” Thanatos answered, sliding the key into the lock and turning it.

“I… well, right,” Zagreus sighed. He must not be in the mood for humor.

“Hypnos?” Thanatos asked as he swung the door open.

“Is he in there?” Zagreus asked, peeking over Thanatos’s shoulder to get a look inside, and was met with the sight of a small, cozy room decorated with flourishing bouquets of poppies, the main feature of which was a large bed piled with fluffy pillows and soft blankets. Somewhere in the middle of them all, he made out the shape of Hypnos’s face, eyes closed and fast asleep.

“Oh, he’s in there alright,” Thanatos answered, voice grating as it rumbled up through his throat. “Hypnos. Wake up!” he said much louder as he approached the bed. Still, Hypnos did not move, so Thanatos reached out to shake him by the shoulders, repeating himself. “I said, get up! Can you hear me?”

Behind him, Zagreus hesitantly entered the room, hyper aware of the fact that he was probably invading Hypnos’s privacy by being there at all, and yet he couldn’t just stay outside. With every second that passed and he remained asleep despite his brother’s shouting, the knot of worry in his stomach tied itself tighter and tighter.

“He won’t wake,” Thanatos finally relented just as Zagreus stepped up to join him at Hypnos’s bedside, and he didn’t miss the glimmer of worry in his voice.

“Oh,” Zagreus’s eyes widened, then, distracted by a most peculiar sight. Wrapped up in Hypno’s arms was some kind of stuffed, fabric doll that was very obviously meant to resemble himself, and behind him, resting amongst the pillows, was one that looked strikingly like Thanatos. “Well that’s… awkward.”

“What?” Thanatos questioned.

“His… you know… dolls,” Zagreus gestured vaguely to them, not entirely sure how to feel about it. Flattered? Creeped out?

“Oh. Yes, that’s… strange. But not any stranger than I would expect from him,” Thanatos shrugged. “No, what I find much more concerning is the fact that he won’t wake up.”

“Right, well, of course,” Zagreus nodded in agreement.

“Hypnos. Are you pretending to be asleep? Is this some kind of prank?” Thanatos said. They waited in silence for a moment, but Hpynos did not even stir.

“Ugh, you try. He likes you better, anyways,” Thanatos pushed Zagreus closer to Hypnos.

“I—I guess I could try,” Zagreus bit his lip, and then took a seat on the edge of the bed and reached out to place a gentle hand on his shoulder. If Thanatos’s forceful approach wasn’t working, maybe he needed to try a lighter touch? “Hypnos? You’re really starting to scare us. Won’t you wake up?” he said. 

They waited, but once again, nothing.

“I don’t think he’s pretending,” Zagreus said. “He hasn’t moved a single muscle in his face, and I’ve never known him to be that great of an actor.”

“No… I don’t think he’s pretending, either,” Thanatos said, his voice low and, if Zagreus wasn’t mistaking himself, almost afraid.

“Hm?” he turned his head back to see Thanatos standing by the nightstand, an empty glass vial in his hand. He turned and held it up to the light, then, so a tiny drop of red liquid became visible at the bottom of the bottle, and Thanatos’s eyes widened in horror.

“Oh, gods,” he whispered.

“What? What is it?” Zagreus looked between Thanatos and the bottle with equal parts confusion and concern.

“Why would you do this to yourself, Hypnos?” Thanatos shook his head in disbelief, looking at his brother with genuine fear in his eyes: not that he was afraid of him, but afraid for him.

“What? What did he do?” Zagreus jumped up to standing, his heart practically beating out his chest.

“He… he took his  _ eternal sleep _ ,” Thanatos said.

“What? What does that mean?” Zagreus asked, but Thanatos was already backing away. The glass vial slipped from his fingers then and crashed to ground, shattering into a million glimmering shards on the ground, and almost as if the sound were an alarm bell waking him from his shock, Thanatos shook his head and forced a determined look onto his face.

“Stay here. I have to get Mother Nyx,” he said, and was gone before Zagreus could ask anything else.

—

Zagreus watched Hypnos’s face for movement, his brows folded in concern and heart beating to the unsteady rhythm of scared confusion in his chest. He still didn’t know exactly what Thanatos meant by  _ eternal sleep _ but he had a pretty good guess, and the thought of it terrified him.

“Come on. Wake up… please?” he whispered, but of course there was no reaction. He sighed, hanging his head, and fought back the feeling of rising tears. He’d known this whole time something was wrong with Hypnos, he’d seen him grow sad and dull, acting less and less like himself, but he let Hypnos convince him it was worse to ask about it, and he’d given up. If only he’d kept trying, if only he’d done something,  _ anything _ , maybe Hypnos would still be there with him, wide awake and cheerful as ever. Unless… maybe he never was cheerful. Maybe everyone’s perception of him was completely wrong, and he’d been hurting this whole time.

“Hypnos…” he mumbled the man’s name, biting his lip as guilt and grief washed over him. But then he forced his head up, not wanting to actually cry, and took a deep breath to calm himself. Thanatos seemed to think Nyx could help somehow, so perhaps it wasn’t entirely hopeless; perhaps there was still some way they could save Hypnos, and whatever it was, Zagreus would do whatever he could to help.

He heard people rushing down the hall towards the door, and quickly stood up, not wanting to be caught near-tears on Hypnos’s bedside. It occurred to him, then, that Hypnos might be even more embarrassed for his own mother to see the strange dolls he kept of Thanatos and himself, so Zagreus quickly picked them both up and tucked them away in a corner. It was just in time, too, because Thanatos and Nyx were rushing into the room at that very moment.

“My son,” Nyx said when she saw him, her eyes wide with a fear Zagreus had never seen in them before, and she was instantly kneeling at his bedside, taking his face into her hands and inspecting him to confirm what Thanatos had no doubt already told her. She peeled open his eyes one by one, staring into them, and then lifted his arm to feel for a pulse at his wrist.

“He’s… he’s really done it,” Nyx said, setting his arm back down.

“Done what?” Zagreus asked, keeping his voice quiet so he didn’t sound nearly as impatient as he really felt.

“Oh, my poor child,” Nyx hung her head in her hands. “I didn’t even know he could make one so potent as to…” she paused, gulping, and lifted her head. “But there’s still time. We can bring him back if…  _ if _ we can convince him to wake.”

“What do you mean?” Thanatos asked.

“Yes,  _ what  _ is going on?” Zagreus joined in.

“ _ Eternal sleep _ ,” Nyx said, rising back up to her feet and meeting Zagreus’s eyes. “It’s a power of his, as sleep incarnate. He can make a… potion, of sorts, that makes one sleep forever. It’s a death sentence for a mortal, but in theory, a god would simply remain in that comatose state for all eternity. I didn’t… I had  _ no _ idea he could make a version strong enough to affect a god, though. Much less that he’d drink it himself.”

“Yes, right, but what’s this about convincing him to wake?” Thanatos asked.

“Well… when used on a mortal, they  _ can  _ break out of it, if their will is strong enough, so I would assume the same is true for a god. For a while, a mental battle rages against the soul and the pull of  _ eternal sleep _ , but if he did it to himself, if he wanted this outcome… I’m afraid there’s little doubt he’ll lose to it,” Nyx answered, staring down at her son with a pained look, but then she shook her head, forcing herself to focus, and continued to explain. “However. This window of time has not yet closed. He can still wake, if he manages to win… but he’ll need help. I can send someone inside his mind to convince him to fight it.”

“Wait, really? You can do that?” Zagreus shook his head, surprised.

“The realm of sleep and the realm of night overlap much, my child. He sprang from me, did he not? As long as he is dreaming, I can, with much effort, unite another’s dreams with his, effectively giving them access to even the innermost parts of his mind,” she said, but then frowned. “I… don’t imagine it will be an easy task. You may very well fail, but—”

“But I have to try,” Thanatos said, surprising them both. “Send me in. I’ll snap him out of it if it’s the last thing I do.”

“Can we both go?” Zagreus asked, and then it was Thanatos's turn to look surprised. Nyx, on the other hand, seemed pleased with such an outcome.

“Yes. In fact, I would have recommended you both go, regardless. I do not know what you shall face once you are inside, but it cannot be a pretty sight. His mind is turbulent… the fight is a gruesome one,” she said, stroking a hand over Hypnos’s forehead to push back a few stray curls.

“Well. I think we can handle any fight, if we work together, right Than?” Zagreus bumped his shoulder, though it did little to lighten his mood.

“It will not be that kind of fight, Zagreus,” Nyx corrected.

“Oh,” Zagreus dropped his smile. “Then what kind of fight is it?”

“You shall see soon enough,” she said, and then raised her hand to wipe it past both their foreheads, a heavy lethargy washing over them as she did so. “Now, my children, sleep.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zag: Oh a fight? Cool, yeah, I know how to do that. I'm super good at fighting!
> 
> Nyx: No. Not that kind of fight.
> 
> Zag: .... there are other kinds of fights!?!?!?
> 
> Sorry I just find that part so funny. I know I wrote it, but still. Anyways, onwards, into Hypnos's mind we go!!


	5. Chapter 5

Zagreus stumbled on his feet, head swimming as he tried to steady his swirling vision. 

“Ugh…” he groaned, reaching up to hold his head, and took a few deep breaths as he struggled to remember where he was and what had happened. He was worried about Hypnos, he could recall that much, and then… and then Nyx put them to sleep because…

“Are we here? Did it work?” he lifted his head, then, the memory of their hastily-formed plan rushing back to him all at once. He blinked a few times, realizing he could see properly, and steadied his footing, no longer nauseous, just little out of sorts. 

“I think so,” Thanatos said, seeming equally perturbed by the very strange experience of existing inside another’s mind, and they both took a moment to look around and adjust to their new surroundings. 

Surprisingly, it looked a lot like the House of Hades, the same sort of long, dim hall where Hypnos usually stood—floated? slept?— at his post, but there were no shades lined up for him to check in, and where Hades’s desk should have been was a large lounging chaise, Hypnos’s blanket-cape draped over it. Curious, Zagreus looked behind himself to see if the Styx was there, but was surprised to be met by a wall. It was a closed space, then. And somehow, nothing quite seemed to be in proportion. He wasn’t sure if the walls were slanted or the floor, if the ceiling was too low or too high, if the space was growing larger or shrinking, but it wasn’t concrete like the real world was. No, it was only the vague recollection of the right shapes in the wrong places to make up a mock construction of the house.

“Well. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this,” Zagreus said.

“Mm,” Thanatos nodded, but was distracted, looking down at his hands. “I… can’t seem to float. Or use any of my powers.”

“Oh?” Zagreus raised a brow, but then frowned. “Now that you mention it, neither of us have our weapons, either.”

“Well,  _ hopefully  _ we won’t need them,” Thanatos said. “Regardless: let’s stick together. I don’t like the feeling this place gives me.”

“Agreed.”

They started down the hall then, and at the end of it found there was only one way to turn. The right hand exit that would usually lead to the break room and the prince’s chambers was blocked off by a wall, but they could still head left towards the gallery. Hesitantly, they rounded the corner, still moving slow since it hurt their eyes to take in too much of the unsettling geometry at once, when they started to hear a noise. 

“Is that…?” Zagreus turned to look at Thanatos, who seemed just as surprised. It sounded like Hypnos was happily humming in the gallery room. They hurried forward, and sure enough they spotted him there, dressed down without his cape on, using a silk cloth to wipe clean the glass protecting a large portrait, and humming a pleasant tune to himself as he did so. 

However, there was something else very, very different about the gallery room. First, it was larger and more well-lit, and secondly, the paintings were all very flattering portraits of people who, as a general theme, Hypnos was either related to, friends with, or admired. There were portraits of his mother and brothers, one of Megaera and one of Asterius, and of course, one of Zagreus himself. In fact, that was the portrait whose glass covering Hypnos was wiping clean, the remnants of words written in red covering his face. They were mostly gone, but he could still pick out one:  _ liar _ .

“Hypnos?” Thanatos stepped forward then, calling out to him, and Hypnos startled, nearly dropping his cleaning rag before he caught it and spun around, eyes wide with shock at the sight of them.

“Who—I—uh, oh! Hello! Welcome to the Mind of Hypnos,” he said, clasping his hands behind his back and standing up straight. That was a strange sight, Zagreus realized. He couldn't remember the last time he’d seen Hypnos stand instead of float. “How are you… here, exactly? We don’t normally get visitors,” Hypnos tilted his head and smiled awkwardly. “Actually, we  _ never _ have visitors.”

“Hypnos, it doesn’t matter how we got here, we’re here to wake you up,” Thanatos said, marching across the room towards him, but Zagreus remained in place. Something wasn’t right. Well, that was obvious, but besides all of the things that were wrong with this place, he had the sense that something wasn’t right about Hypnos—about  _ this  _ Hypnos. 

“Huh? What do you mean, wake me up?” Hypnos giggled. “And I would still very much like to know how you got inside… my mind. Literally.”

“Mother Nyx did it, I don’t know,” Thanatos shook his head, getting frustrated. “The point is you have to wake up. You have to fight it, Hypnos.”

“So mom can do that, huh…” Hypnos scratched his chin, brows furrowing in thought, completely ignoring what Thanatos was saying.

“Hypnos,” Zagreus stepped forward then. “What is all this, exactly?” he gestured to the portraits around them.

“Hm? Oh, these are Hypnos’s favorite people! They get a place of honor at the forefront of his mind, and I take care of their portraits. You know, keep them clean, and whatnot,” Hypnos looked around at all of them, smiling genuinely, but when he turned back to the one of Zagreus which was still marred by fragments of cruel words, he blushed and rushed forward to smear them all enough that could no longer be read.

“Ahaha, yup! That’s my job. Er, well, one of them, anyhow,” he said, scratching his cheek and chuckling nervously, like he was hiding something.

“Wait, so, are you Hypnos or you just… some kind of personification of him that does tasks around his head?” Zagreus asked.

“Oh, uh… I suppose you’re right. I’m not _ really _ him, but I’m part of him,” he said.

“Like his consciousness? Or subconscious, perhaps?” Thanatos offered.

“Well actually—” he started to say something but then froze up, eyes going wide as he quickly shut his mouth. “Um? You know what? Yeah! I guess I am like his subconscious. Sure! Let’s go with that,” Hypnos, or whatever part of him it was they were talking to, giggled in a horribly forced way that had Zagreus and Thanatos sharing a look.

“You’re a terrible liar,” Thanatos said.

“What? N-no I’m not. I mean, not that I’m lying, but if I… if I  _ wanted _ to, I totally could,” Hypnos stuttered out, blushing and crossing his arms defensively. 

“Right… Hypnos, look. We’re just here to help you. Why don’t you tell us what’s really going on so we can do that?” Thanatos sighed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Hypnos shook his head, all his nervousness seeming to disappear as a blithe smile took over his features. “And I certainly don’t need any help. Everything’s fine!”

“That’s clearly not true,” Zagreus said.

“Oh, Zag. You’re always asking me how I am. Well, here’s an answer for you, finally,” Hypnos stepped up to him, and with his feet on the ground, Zagreus got a reminder of just how much taller he was than him, his smiling face looming down almost threateningly. “Hypnos is perfectly alright, okay? Always has been and always will be. Now,” he took a step back, and Zagreus let out a breath he’d been holding. “I don’t know how long you all intend to say, but if there’s anything I can do to make you more comfortable, just let me know! I always aim to please.”

Thanatos sighed into his hand.

“Just like always, you’re impossible to get through to.”

“Hey, now’s not the time for that,” Zagreus elbowed him in the side, and then gulped, regaining his confidence. This version of Hypnos may be kind of creepy, but it wasn’t like he could actually hurt him—and even if he could, Zagreus was no stranger to pain  _ or  _ death.

“Hypnos. Are you the only one who lives, er, uh, exists? Here in Hypnos’s mind?” he asked, remembering what Nyx had said before she put them to sleep: this wasn’t a battle to be one with blades and attacks. He had to fight with words, logic, and reasoning, which, to be honest, he wasn’t normally very good at, but here he thought he knew how to get the truth out of him, at least.

“Um… y-yes. Yes, I am,” Hypnos nodded, though his hesitancy was clear.

“Hm. And you said before that you never get guests?” Zagreus asked next.

“N-no. You’re the first.”

“Right. So who wrote all that graffiti you’re wiping off?”

Hypnos’s mouth opened, but no words came out, and Zagrees smirked; he had him right where he wanted him.

“M-m-me?” he finally stuttered out an answer, but Zagreus chuckled and shook his head.

“You don’t honestly think I’m going to believe that? You tarnished this portrait just to have to clean it up yourself? Where’s the sense in that?” he said.

“Fine. It wasn’t me… it was one of the others,” he admitted.

“Other what?” Thanatos questioned.

“The other…  _ aspects _ of Hypnos,” he begrudgingly admitted. “But don’t bother asking about the others, they won’t want to see you!” he added with a violent shake of both head and hands.

“You can’t honestly expect us to—” Thanatos started, but Zagreus put out a hand, signaling him to stop.

“Okay, that’s alright,” he said. “But can you tell us about yourself?”

“Um… sure, I guess so!” the aspect of Hypnos was back to smiling at that suggestion. “My name is Cheerfulness, and I’m the outermost aspect of Hypnos, the one whose job it is to interact with the outside world. I keep track of relationships, think of things to say, and generally sort what comes in and what goes out of Hypnos’s mind.”

“Well, hello then, Cheerfulness. Though, I suppose you already know us,” Zagreus extended his hand, which Cheerfulness happily shook.

“That’s true! And you already know me pretty well, since I’m the one at the wheel when we talk,” he said.

“Alright, enough with the niceties. We only have so much time,” Thanatos interrupted. “Which one of you do we talk to if we want to wake Hypnos up? Who’s job is that?”

“I… I can’t tell you that,” Cheerfulness shook his head.

“You can’t, or you won’t?” Zagreus asked, trying not to make it sound so much like an accusation.

“I mean, I… I’m not  _ supposed _ to,” he shook his head, starting to look panicked and nervous again. “I’m not supposed to let anyone see past me, and no one’s even supposed to get in here in the first place, but I’m pretty sure that includes keeping you away from the inner chambers!”

“Inner chambers?” Zagreus raised a brow. “You mean that this place has, like, _ layers _ ?”

“Oh… I shouldn’t have said that…” Cheerfulness covered his mouth, looking around the room desperately for a moment, before he seemed to get an idea, and pulled his hand away to reveal a forced smile. “Well, enough about all that! Why don’t you two sit down and make yourselves comfortable, since it seems you’re stuck here for the meantime. Would you like something to drink?” he rambled on as he herded them like sheep back out of the gallery room.

“No, we don’t want to sit. We want to get further in,” Thanatos said, holding his ground.

“I’m afraid that’s not possible. But if there’s anything else I can do—”

“Aren’t you even a little afraid?” Zagreus interrupted.

“What?” Cheerfulness froze for a moment, and he could have sworn he saw a flash of terror in his eyes, but then he titled his head and smiled, and it disappeared. “Of course not, silly! I’m  _ Cheerfulness _ . I don’t have any of those negative emotions. Just good old positivity twenty four seven with this guy, ha-ha!” he pointed to himself, forcing a laugh, but tears formed in the corners of his scrunched-shut eyes as he said it.

“That’s clearly not true. You’ve exhibited a range of other emotions to us,” Thanatos pointed out, and Cheerfulness gulped, his lips wobbling a moment before his arm fell and shoulders slumped.

“I… I know. You’re right. I’m not happy all the time. I just pretend to be, because that’s my job,” he said, thin streams of tears spilling down his cheeks. “I’m the mask. The part of Hypnos everyone sees. And I’m not… I’m not supposed to have negative emotions. I have to be positive all the time… or they’ll hate him.”

“Who would hate him for that?” Zagreus asked.

“I don’t know… everyone? You?” Cheerfulness shrugged. “Listen, I… I want you to save him. I want him to wake up so badly, but… I’m not the part of Hypnos that makes decisions. I only follow orders, and my orders are not to let you through.”

“But… you’re also supposed to protect him, right?” Zagreus pointed out.

“What?” Cheerfulness shook his head, not understanding.

“You said you’re the… mask, right? Correct me if I’m wrong, but it sounds like your job is to keep Hypnos safe, by deciding what parts of himself to show to others, yes?”

“Oh. Um… yes, that’s right,” he nodded.

“Then, logic serves to say that the best thing you could do right now to keep Hypnos  _ safe _ , would be to let us see a little more of him than usual so we can wake him up,” Zagreus argued.

“I suppose when you put it that way… I would still be doing my job if I let you through… and this whole situation is really unpresidented, and it's not like I have direct orders from the inner sanctum not to, so… okay! I’ll let you through,” Cheerfulness finally agreed, nodding and smiling wide with relief.

“Thank you, really. You’re doing the right thing,” Zagreus smiled back.

“Yes, thank you. But, could we hurry it up? We’ve already wasted a lot of time,” Thanatos said.

“Always in a rush, this one,” Cheerfulness pointed to Thanatos and rolled his eyes to Zagreus, who chuckled a little. “Well, don’t let me keep you. The next level is just down the hall, through the door to his room. It’s easy to find: it’s the only one.”

“Got it,” Zagreus nodded, turning to start off towards it, when he paused and turned back. “Oh, but, any warning about what’s on the other side, or who’s on the other side, I suppose?”

“Right! You should meet Melancholy in Hypnos’s room. He’s… difficult to deal with, I won’t lie. But if you make it past him, Anger should be next. And he’s, well, quite riled up at the moment. He made it to surface, not long ago. He’s the one who vandalized your portrait, actually,” Cheerfulness explained, gesturing back to the half-cleaned painting of Zagreus.

“Blood and darkness, how many of you are there?” Thanatos asked, alarmed.

“Oh, um… six, I think? But I haven’t heard from the innermost layers in a long, long time, so I don’t really know anything about them, sorry,” Cheerfulness shrugged.

“Would you assume it's one of those inner three who makes the decisions? Since whoever that is is probably the aspect we want to speak with,” Zagreus asked.

“Yes! Yes, definitely. You’ll have to reach the inner sanctum to get to anyone who has  _ real _ control, and… well, I think you’ll know you’re there when you see it. There won’t be any farther in to go,” Cheerfulness said.

“Got it,” Zagreus nodded. “And, thank you, again. But we have to hurry, especially if there’s five more of you to get through.”

“Well said,” Thanatos nodded, and led the way down the hall towards Hypnos’s room. Just as Cheerfulness had said, there was only one door at the end of the long, dark, seemingly twisting hall, and when at last they reached it, Thanatos reached out to open it, and found it unlocked.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am literally sooooooo excited to finally be posting this part of the fic!!! I put so much work into coming up with the different "aspects" of Hypnos that they meet in his mind... so, just, yeah. I'm really happy to finally be sharing this :)


	6. Chapter 6

The room beyond was massive, not at all the small, cozy bedroom Hypnos called his own in the real world. Swirls of poppies and clusters of red pillows floated by in lazy currents, unrestricted by gravity, making it hard to tell where anything was in the room, since it was in constant motion.

“Hypnos?” Thanatos asked, hesitantly stepping forward.

“Er, uh, Melancholy? That’s your name, right?” Zagreus corrected, following with just as much caution. 

“Who’s there?” a wobbly voice asked, the syllables drawn out and dramatized, like it was an effort to even speak. Thanatos and Zagreus looked at each other with raised brows, but quickly made to follow the voice, stumbling past a floating pair of red, velvet curtains with gold drapings to see a messily-made bed floating in the air, quilted blankets spilling off of the sides and pillows floating about it aimlessly, the fabric doll of Zagrues sticking out amongst the mess. In the middle of the bed, a blanket pulled tight around him and his sleep-mask pulled down to half cover one eye, was another Hypnos, though this one had tear-stained cheeks, a wobbling frown, and a wild case of bed-head.

“Um, Hello. You must be Melancholy?” Zagreus greeted him.

“Zagreus?” he lifted his head, the blanket slipping down to reveal a bare shoulder. “Zagreus is here, and he said my name! He knows my name! Oh, Zag!” he cried, reaching out to bundle up a bunch of blankets and squeeze them to his chest, and as his voice rose in elation, the room seemed to glow a hot pink color. 

“I, well… Cheerfulness told me it?” he said, not sure why knowing Melancholy’s name had caused such a stir, but as soon as he spoke, the pink color faded and was quickly replaced by a deep, swirling blue.

“Oh, but of course he didn’t mean anything by it!” Melancholy pouted, throwing the blankets back down on the bed and then promptly flopping onto his back. “He never does… he just plays with my poor fragile heart! Oh, Zagreus! My love! My unrequited love!” he cried dramatically, snatching up the doll and holding it up above his head.

“Your—what?” Zagreus sputtered, feeling his cheeks flare with warmth at the words.

“Well… I certainly see why Cheerfulness called him  _ difficult _ , now,” Thanatos groaned.

“But soft, what voice is this?” Melancholy flipped back over to look down at them, the room glowing a curious shade of orange. “Thanatos? My brother? Oh, here to mock me, I am sure! I shouldn’t dare to hope for more, and yet I do! And yet I do!” he moaned, laying a hand dramatically over his forehead and tossing the doll aside as the room darkened into a somber purple. “My heart cannot take such ill-treatment by my brother’s hands anymore! Be gone from my sight, or I shall surely perish from grief!”

Thanatos opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out, his eyes wide with shock. Zagreus sucked in a breath through his teeth and looked away.

“That’s cold, Than,” he said.

“Wh-wha—he’s… exaggerating!” Thanatos finally managed to say. “I’m not  _ that _ bad, am I?”

“Oh! And he does not even know how he hurts me! How cruel… how cruel can you be, oh brother of mine?” Melancholy sobbed, his head flung back and arm dangling off the side of the bed.

“Hurt you how?” Thanatos crossed his arms, getting defensive. “By trying to help you not lose your job?”

“But  _ what  _ is an occupation worth when I cannot even have my brother’s love? How am I to toil away when there is not even the reward of your regard? You care not for me, I know it! You hate me! You all hate me! Poor, loveless Hypnos!” Melancholy wailed, and the purple hue of the room split into large swaths of a despondent blue, cut by shards of blood red agony.

“Than, cut it out,” Zagreus warned under his breath. “He’s getting worse.”

“Well, what am I supposed to say?” Thanatos hissed back.

“I don’t know, you could _ try  _ being nice to him for once,” Zagreus rolled his eyes.

“Ugh… alright,” Thanatos sighed, and approached the floating bed upon which Melancholy laid sprawled out, sobbing miserably, and cleared his throat. “Hypnos. Er, Melancholy? I’m… sorry for how I treated you before. I promise I don’t hate you, and… if you wake up, I’ll do my best to not be so, uh,  _ cruel _ . To you,” he said, and though the words were choppy and forced, the storm of harsh colors around them instantly settled into a calm blue as Melancholy lifted his head.

“You… you really mean that?” he asked, eyes glimmering with hope.

“Yes,” Thanatos nodded, then added after a gulp: “I assure you, it was never my intention to hurt you, er, Hypnos? I’m just… I’m not good at… affection, and that sort of thing.”

“Oh, Than…” Melancholy said, laying his chin in his hands as a teary smile spread across his face, the blue of the room warming to a soft yellow. “All I ever wanted was a few encouraging words, maybe a hug or a pat on the back every now and again, and a little more of your time… is that too much to ask? Are you really too busy to spare but a moment for your brother?”

“I… well, I suppose I never wanted to linger because we both had work to do, but, perhaps, we could arrange to take some of our breaks at the same time. Would you… like that?” Thanatos offered, the words fumbling out uncomfortably, but Zagreus found himself smiling at him: at least he was trying.

“Yes, Than! I’d love that more than anything in the world!” Melancholy squealed, cupping his cheeks in his hands and smiling brighter than the sun, the room glowing along with it, when suddenly it began to take on that pink hue again. “Except, oh… I suppose there is one for whom my affection is stronger…” Melancholy said, squirming around under the blanket as his eyes opened to give a half-lidded gaze in Zagreus’s direction.

“U-uh,” the man in question stuttered, freezing up yet again. He would hardly know what to do if Hypnos said this sort of thing in real life, so to be accosted by what he could only assume was the over-dramatic embodiment of the man’s emotions was so far beyond the reach of any logical reaction his mind could conjure.

“Ah, but I dare not even say it!” Melancholy went on despite him, flailing back against the bed again as the pink deepened into a desperate violet hue. “It is impossible! Though I would give him my heart, my love could not return the gesture with his! He loves me not… I am lucky he even knows my name, that I so much as catch his eye now and again is more that I deserve!”

“Well, hey now,” Zagreus finally spoke up, though he had to fight against a knot in his throat. “I don’t think it's fair to say I ignore you, nor that you deserve to be ignored by me.”

“No, no, relent! Do not fill my mind with these half-affections! These gestures towards something that cannot be! I’d rather you let me slip away into nothing, then keep me in the terrible middle!” Melancholy cried, covering his ears, the room fading to a deep burgundy, almost black, though it retained the faintest hint of red heat.

“What do you mean? You’d rather we not be friends at all, if I can’t return your feelings?” Zagreus asked, feeling a pang of sadness at the thought of it.

“Yes!” Melancholy yelped, then rolled over, looked down at Zagreus, bit his lip, and changed his mind. “No! I don’t know! You torture me with these feelings, my prince! I want so much, and yet I know I should be—I  _ wish _ I could be satisfied with what little you can give me. I’m a selfish creature! A hopeless, selfish thing!” he sobbed into his hands, the darkness losing its red tint for a blue one.

“That’s not selfish. Everyone wants to be loved,” Zagreus said, finally starting to get over the embarrassment of it. “And I… look, I don’t really know how I feel about you, or, well, about Hypnos. I’ve been too focused on escaping to have much time for that sort of thing.”

Melancholy didn’t respond, but seemed to peek out from under his hands, a few pinpricks of light poking out from under the navy-washed walls like distant stars.

“But I, for one, would hate to lose your friendship. And I… I understand that it's painful to love someone  _ so  _ much and not have that love returned, but it doesn’t sound like losing a friend is what you want, either. If you’re lonely, I’d be more than happy to keep you company, when I can,” Zagreus offered.

“Really?” Melancholy pushed himself back up, blinking his tear-filled lashes in disbelief.

“Yes, really,” Zagreus chuckled, then paused, biting his lower lip before he added: “You know I… I almost look forward to dying sometimes, because I know I’ll get to talk to you again. You really make the whole thing not so bad, to be greeted by a friendly face every time I come home. I’d really hate to lose that.”

Melancholy’s face softened into a smile at his words, the dark sky brightening into the soft blue of day, before a little nervous green creeped in, the smile drooping into a guilty frown.

“All this is… really very nice. But I’m afraid it can’t be. I’ve already given myself up to the loneliness,” he said, voice so somber Zagreus found himself convinced that this part of Hypnos had actually been entirely against the decision to take  _ eternal sleep _ .

“But you don’t have to. There’s still time,” he pointed out.

“Yes. You just need to let us pass, and we’ll get you to wake up,” Thanatos chimed back in. “Then we can… you know, spend time together. Just like you want.”

“Oh, how I wish! But… I cannot! I am forbidden!” Melancholy shook his head.

“By who?” Zagreus asked.

“Anger! And, oh, how Anger hates me so already! I’m always getting Hypnos hurt, I never give him any peace! I’m the worst part of him! I know I am! I can’t go messing everything up for us again!” Melancholy started to cry again, leaning over to put his face in his hands as the room sunk back into that deep, despondent blue, though there was something else there, a hint of yellow on the very edges of the room, like an energy waiting to be tapped into. 

He wanted to be convinced.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not messing everything up for Hypnos by letting us pass, you’re helping him,” Thanatos said.

“Yes, and whoever told you you’re the worst part of him doesn’t know what they're talking about. There’s nothing wrong with having feelings. Your emotions are what make you,  _ you _ ,” Zagreus said, trying to ignore the way his cheeks flushed at the sappy words coming out of his mouth, though the raised brow Thanatos was giving him certainly didn’t help.

“You really think so? You think I’m important?” Melancholy asked, lifting his head and holding up his cocoon of blankets so they pushed back up over his shoulders, and the yellow at the edges of the room glowed a little brighter.

“Of course. Every part of Hypnos is important,” Zagreus answered, and Melancholy squealed with delight at that, burying his face in the gathered blankets.

“Oh, Zag! How you make my heart flutter! How you make my head spin, my cheeks flush with delight!” Melancholy sang, the room glowing a spirited peachy color.

“Uh-huh,” Zagreus nodded, trying to hurry him along so he might not list all the ways he bodily affected him.

“For you, my love, I can bear anything!” Melancholy announced, throwing his hands into the air, and Zagreus let out a sigh of relief. “But only if you both swear you’ll be nice to me when I wake up. I don’t want to go back if nothing is going to change.”

“Of course,” Zagreus nodded.

“I’ll do my best,” Thanatos agreed, and though Zagreus scoffed a little at the hesitant words he chose, he could tell he meant them completely; his vow was just as sincere.

“Then… onto Anger’s room! But don’t say I didn’t warn you, he’s a real meanie,” Melancholy pouted as he flicked his wrist, the floating debris of the room swirling around them at the motion until a grand pair of deep maroon drapes were summoned just to the left of his bed. He scooted over to the edge, then, and reached out to tug on a gold chord that opened them, revealing a long, dark tunnel leading ahead.

“Thank you,” Thanatos said, the words coming out like a sigh of relief.

“Yes. Oh, and, you don’t happen to know who comes after Anger, do you? Or at least how many?” Zagreus asked.

“Mmn… sort of. But it’s been a long, long time since I’ve been let through to the inner sanctum. The gatekeeper isn’t so nice anymore,” Melancholy bit his lip and looked away. Zagreus furrowed his brow, wondering at how little communication, and how little affection there was between the different aspects of Hypnos’s mind.

“The gatekeeper?” Thanatos question.

“Er, the filter, the wall… whatever you want to call him, he decides what comes in and out of the inner sanctum, and it’s been a long time since he’s let anybody in. But! In the old times, I used to see Love and Fear in there all the time. They even came out here with me sometimes, too. But… I don’t know. They might have changed their names by now. The rest of us have, so…” Melancholy shrugged.

“I see. So those must be the other three, the gatekeeper, Love, and Fear, though not necessarily by those names,” Thanatos nodded. “Well, thank you, again, but we really ought to get moving.”

“Yes. Right. I hope we’ll see you again, when you wake,” Zagreus waved goodbye, following Thanatos to the tunnel.

“Yes!” Melancholy waved back, smiling again. “And I’ll keep you to those promises!”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Melancholy. I had so much fun writing this chapter, I love this absolute drama queen :)
> 
> And, uh... Zag and Than had some interesting revelations. Well, mainly Zag, but Than at least realized that being nice helps sometimes lol. Baby steps.


	7. Chapter 7

The tunnel was long, but the darkness never became so all-consuming that Zagreus and Thanatos lost sight of each other as they walked down it. At some point, when the room behind was no longer visible, and yet neither was anything up ahead, Thanatos cleared his throat, so Zagreus looked over at him from the corner of his eye.

“So… is that how you really feel about him?” he asked quietly.

“Huh?” Zagreus tilted his head.

“I mean, that you actually don’t know. Or were you just saying that to keep from hurting him?” Thanatos clarified.

“Oh. No, I mean it. I’ve just… never thought about it before. I haven’t really had much time for thinking about that kind of thing at all since I started my escape,” Zagreus shrugged.

“Well, you must be thinking about it now,” Thanatos said.

“Yes, I suppose so,” Zagreus chuckled. “Though, we really should focus on the more pressing issue of, well, waking him up?”

“Well, yes, obviously,” Thanatos crossed his arms and looked away. “I just meant… ugh, nevermind. It’s none of my business, anyways.”

“Oh, it isn’t? I’m not going to get a talk from protective big-brother Thanatos about the many ways you’ll kill me if I break his heart?” Zagreus joked.

“I hardly think that’s necessary,” Thanatos rolled his eyes. “And we’re twins, anyways.”

“No, I know, I was just—oh, nevermind,” Zagreus shook his head.

Just then, some light became visible in the tunnel up ahead, and they quickly abandoned their conversation to hurry their pace towards it. The light was of a burning, reddish hue, and soon a heat washed over them that Zagreus found very familiar. Sure enough, when the room ahead became visible, they were met with the roaring, rolling tides of burning magma pouring down from ceiling to floor, a few scant outcroppings of rock and a wide, stone bridge the only fixtures that didn’t scream of a fiery death.

“Do… you think we can die here?” Zagreus asked.

“Well. There was no Styx in the first room, so I doubt we’d end up there,” Thanatos offered.

“Hm. Maybe we would just wake up? Though, that would also be bad,” Zagreus frowned.

“I guess we’ll just have to not die, then,” Thanatos shrugged.

“Wow. I’ve never heard you sound more like your brother,” Zagreus chuckled, but then found himself frowning. “Now… I am also slightly concerned that we haven’t seen this Anger fellow yet.”

“As am I. But, we must hurry on regardless,” Thanatos nodded, stepping into the room first. Zagreus hesitantly followed, but they barely made it to the bridge before something flew by so fast Zagreus couldn’t tell what or who it was at first, but from the loud smack that resonated through the room and the way Thanatos fell back, gripping his cheek in pain, he figured they had punched him the face. 

“Than?” he rushed forward, concerned, but the thing flew behind him then, and knocked his legs out from under himself with a forceful kick, and of course he fell right on top of Thanatos, bringing them both down to the ground in a heap of tangled limbs.

“Well, well, well,” a voice not unlike Hypnos’s, though it had a sharp edge to it Zagreus had never heard before, called out from above, and they both looked up to see the one they had to assume was named Anger.

With four white, feathery wings extending from his back, a many-pointed golden halo circling around his his head, and golden eyes that seemed to glow as they stared down at them judgingly, Anger floated above the boiling pool of lava with a far more menacing appearance than Zagreus had ever imagined Hypnos could take. His body was the same, long and thin, his hair was still a mess of white curls, but his clothes had become a warrior’s armor, his stance was that of a practiced killer, and his glare said all they needed to know: he despised the two of them with every fiber of his being.

“I didn’t think you two would have the _gall_ to show your faces here, and yet here you are anyways,” Anger clicked his tongue and shook his head. “Honestly, what do you think you’re doing? Saving Hypnos? Maybe you should have _fucking_ thought of that before you hurt him in the frist place!?” he shouted, practically foaming at the mouth, before reaching his hand out to the side and summoning a golden spear into his grasp. “Oh, but you’ve actually done me a favor. That damn polite bastard _Cheerfulness_ never lets me through, but since you’ve come to me, he can’t stop me from repaying all that hurt!” Anger threw his head back and cackled wildy, before sighing and returning his gaze to Zagreus and Thanatos, who had had the sense to get back to their feet by then. 

“I’d say it was nice knowing you, but, it really wasn’t,” Anger teased before flashing forward with the speed of a piercing arrow, spear extended to attack.

“Whoa!” Zagreus leaped out of the way, Thanatos moving in the opposite direction so Anger flew between them, but with his speed he turned back around in a fraction of a second, aiming for Thanatos. 

“Stop! What are you doing?” Thanatos said, pushing back against the spear in Anger’s hands, but Anger was the stronger of the two, and Thanatos was slowly sliding back towards the bubbling pool of lava behind them.

“What does it look like? Finally getting my revenge!” Anger yelled back.

“Revenge for what?” Thanatos asked, his voice coming out strained, and Zagreus finally felt his senses returning to him, realizing that he was seconds away from being pushed over the edge.

“Hey, ease off!” Zagreus said, hooking his arms under Anger’s wings and arms to bracket his chest on either side and pull him away. With their strength combined, Thanatos finally pushed Agner back enough to leap out of the way, getting as far away from the lava as he could.

“As if you don’t know what you did!” Anger shouted after him, writhing in Zagreus’s grasp before growling with annoyance and taking a more direct approach to getting him off. He flapped all his wings at once, forcing Zagreus’s arms off, before spinning around, hitting him with two of his wings along the way, and then reaching to grab him by the ankle as he was falling, and lifting him into the air with ease.

“Whoa, no, no, no no!” Zagreus flailed his arms, but he was already upside down, completely at Anger’s mercy as he flew high into the air, holding him out over the pool of lava.

“And you, _Prince_ ,” Anger seethed, glaring down at him. “Don’t think you’re so innocent either.”

“Put him down!” Thanatos yelled from the rock where he stood, and Anger got an amused smile on his face.

“Oh, you want me to let go?” he said, his voice playing at innocence as he extended his arm, dangling Zagreus over the lava.

“No! No!” Zagreus shouted. 

“Just please come down! We just want to talk!” Thanatos said.

“Talk? You think you can talk your way out of this!?” Anger yelled, and tossed Zagreus from his grasp, not paying attention to where he might land as he flashed forward again to confront Thanatos.

Screaming as he flew through the air, Zagreus smacked into the side of the bridge, but managed to get a grip around the stone railing, keeping himself from falling into the lava below. He looked down, panting, and saw a bubble forming below him, that popped and sprayed hot magma up at him, so he curled his legs up with a yelp to avoid it and focused on pulling himself up. He was weaker than usual in this strange dreamscape, probably suffering the same effects that kept Thanatos from being able to use his powers, but eventually he managed to get himself over the railing and landed with a thump on the bridge.

He pushed himself up and, looking to the right first, saw Thanatos just barely holding his own against Anger, dodging the slashing of his spear through the air while still trying in vain to calm him down. Zagreus gulped, and looked to the left. He wasn’t that far from the other side of the bridge, which reached the far side of the room where an entryway to another dark tunnel lay in wait.

“I’m sorry Than,” he whispered to himself as he stood up, and then ran towards the tunnel.

“Oh no you don’t!” he heard Anger shout from behind him, and cursed under his breath as he saw a flash through the air beside him. Sure enough, Anger landed with a skid on the outcropping of rock on the other side of the bridge, just in front of the tunnel, and pointed his spear at Zagreus.

“Well, shit,” Zagreus stopped in his tracks, not wanting to get particularly close to him again.

“I am not letting you ruin this!” Anger shouted. “You will both die here, at my hand, and will _not_ convince him to wake!”

“But—why?” Zagreus said, and though Anger literally growled at him in response, he made no move to pounce, so Zagreus continued. “I, look. I get that you hate us, and want to see us suffer, and whatnot, but why would you want Hypnos to stay asleep forever?”

“He made his choice, and it's our job to see it through,” Anger answered. “You’re the ones who made him feel like he had to in the first place, so if you’ve got a problem with it, take it up with yourself!”

“What? That literally makes no—”

“Shut up and die!” Anger lashed forward again, and Zagreus ducked to dodge out of the way, then spun around with his arms crossed in front of himself in the hopes of blocking his next blow, but was surprised to see Anger attacking Thanatos, who had come across the bridge in the meantime.

Anger made a wide slash with his spear, which Thanatos easily ducked under, but that time Anger was expecting him to dodge, and was ready with a hard kick to the stomach that pushed Thanatos to the ground. Anger stood over him, placing a foot on his chest to keep him down, and then turned back to look at Zagreus, who gulped.

“And don’t think you’re getting away either,” he said before throwing his spear, which caught on the fabric at Zagreus’s shoulder and pinned him to the stone wall just beside the entrance to the tunnel.

Zagreus groaned as his back hit the wall hard, but quickly recovered and reached up to pull out the spear, hoping to use it for himself to get the upper hand. Instead, he found that the golden metal was melting around his shoulder, quickly forming a series of chains that wrapped around his limb and sunk into the stone of the wall, keeping him firmly in place.

“Now for you, you piece of shit,” Agner spat in Thanatos’s face before reaching down to pick him up by the collar of his hood, lifting his head as his other arm pulled back in a fist.

“Hey, let him go!” Zagreus yelled, but of course it was no use. Anger punched Thanatos across the jaw so hard Zagreus heard a _crack_ and cringed in sympathy.

Thanatos, his head still turned to the side, spat the blood from his mouth and then met Anger’s glare out of the corner of his eye.

“That all you got?”

“Oh, you want more!?” Anger shook him violently by the neck, but Thanatos didn’t fight back.

“Give me all you’ve got, Anger! Show me how much my own brother hates me!” Thanatos yelled instead, and if Zagreus wasn’t mistaken, there were the beginnings of tears in his stern, narrowed eyes.

“You idiot! You think he hates you? You think that’s what this is?” Anger shouted back.

“What else would it be?”

“He loves you! He loves you more than anything in the world, and all you do is hurt him!! And I’m the only, _only_ part of him that can bring myself to hate you, because I’m the only part of Hypnos that still loves himself!” Anger said, and for a fraction of a second, Thanatos’s face went still and white, his eyes wide and lips slightly parted in shock, but then Anger roared out an anguished cry and punched him three times in a row, the first two quick, but the third as hard as he could, sending out another ungly _crack_ from his jaw.

Zagreus sucked in a breath through his teeth, watching as Thanatos’s head fell back limp in Anger’s grasp, but the rage seemed to have subsided because Anger released him gently back to the ground and stood back up, sniffling as he wiped a hand across his eyes. Zagreus gulped, then, and finally the realization of what Anger had said started to set in.

“Of course. That’s what you are,” he said, voice soft, but it was still enough for Anger to turn around and reveal the tears streaking down his cheeks, a smudge of blood on the right one from his knuckles.

“You… if you’re the part of Hypnos that loves himself, then your job is to protect him, isn’t it? Keep him from getting hurt? Demand he be treated better when _is_ hurt?” Zagreus continued.

“And? You’re just stating the obvious,” Anger said, but there was no bite in it. He was worn out.

“Well, that’s why you don’t get along with Melancholy, right? Because he’s the one who makes Hypnos feel hurt? And Cheerfulness, too, because he never lets you to the surface. You’re being repressed; you’re not allowed to defend him anymore. He just has to take what he gets, no matter how harsh,” Zagreus said, forcing his expression to remain confident even while he said a silent prayer to any god that might somehow be listening that he was getting it right.

“So?” Anger huffed, his teeth clenching in annoyance. Spot on, then.

“So… why are you on board with this _eternal sleep_ thing if your whole purpose is to keep him from getting hurt?” Zagreus asked.

“Because. Now he can’t hurt at all,” Anger said.

“But he can’t be happy either,” Zagreus shook his head. “Is that what you want? To take away his hurt and replace it with… what, nothingness?”

“He’ll have dreams, still,” Anger said, though his voice was getting quieter.

“And? That’s it? Don’t you want him to have a chance at being happy? Really, actually, happy?” Zagreus asked, practically pleading with his eyes.

“But…” Anger started to protest, but found no words, and stared down at his hands, splattered with his brother’s blood.

“No one who loves him wants him to do this,” Zagreus whispered then, the words pulled from him almost without thinking them, and Anger’s eyes flashed up, glowing in a way that wasn’t nearly as menacing as before: more of an epiphany. His brows set down into his usual glare soon enough, though, and he flashed forward, taking Zagreus by the chin and pulling him forward so that their faces were so close, he could feel Anger’s breath on his lips.

“Don’t you dare hurt him, _prince_ ,” Anger whispered against him, reaching his thumb up to drag across Zagreus’s lower lip, and then slid his hand down to touch the golden chains holding him to the wall, and made them disappear.

Anger was back next to Thanatos as soon as Zagreus was released, and he slumped away from the wall with a shaky breath, a shiver dragging up his spine. Anger certainly knew how to make a point.

“Here, get up,” he was saying to Thanatos then, lifting him into a sitting position as he procured a little white handkerchief to wipe the blood from the corners of his mouth.

“Blood and darkness, you pack a punch,” Thanatos mumbled.

“Well, this is Hypnos’s mind, so, home turf advantage?” Anger joked, and Thanatos actually chuckled for a second.

“I’m serious though. You better be nice to him from now on, or I will find a way to kick your ass again,” Anger said then, giving Thanatos a genuine death stare even as he held his hand out to him. “It was more than satisfying.”

“Noted,” Thanatos nodded, and let Anger help him back to his feet.

“Now. I’d wish you both luck, but… you might have more trouble with the next one than with me,” Anger said, turning halfway back so he was addressing Zagreus too.

“Oh, gods, you’ve got to be kidding me,” Zagreus sighed.

“Oh, no, he won’t hurt you. It’s just… well, Apathy lives up to his name. I don’t know how you’ll convince him to let you pass, and he’s the only one who can let you into the inner sanctum. The rest of us don’t have access anymore,” Anger explained. “But… I believe in you. If there’s anyone who can do it, it’s you two. You’re his favorite people, you know,” he added with a half-smile, hesitant like he hadn’t made that expression in a long time.

“Who, Apathy?” Thanatos asked.

“What? No, Hypnos. You’re _Hypnos’s_ favorite people. Gods, don’t remind me why I hate you,” Anger sighed into his hand.

“Um, right. Thanks for the tip, but I think we should go now,” Zagreus said.

“Agreed,” Thanatos nodded, and followed him towards the tunnel.

“Don’t you dare mess this up!” Anger called out after them. “Or I’ll kill you for real! I mean it!”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we finally meet Anger! It kind of surprised me how many people guessed right away that he would want to throw hands with Zag and Than, but, umm, yeah, you were all right lol


	8. Chapter 8

The tunnel was a fair bit shorter than the last, a calm, white light becoming visible at its exit soon enough. 

“You alright, mate? Those punches looked pretty brutal,” Zagreus asked while they still had a moment of solitude.

“I’m fine. Quite frankly, his bark hurt worse than his bite,” Thanatos answered.

“Oh. I see,” Zagreus nodded; Anger’s words had been brutal, too. Thanatos had a lot to unpack now, between what he said and Melancholy’s reaction to him. 

Finally, they came upon the end of the tunnel, and found that it emptied into a large, white, perfectly blank room, save for a few things just across the way. There was a large, square, metal door, very plain looking, next to a large desk with neatly arranged piles of paper, quills, and ink. Behind it, floating back on his blanket cape, was a version of Hypnos that looked almost exactly like he did everyday. He was asleep, mask over his eyes, floating there instead of doing whatever work there was waiting on the desk for him.

“Um, ahem, might you be Apathy?” Thanatos approached. 

Apathy reached up to lift the mask off his eyes, revealing deep, dark bags under them, and gave the two of them an uninterested stare for a long, silent minute, before he simply let the mask fall back into place without saying a word.

“ _ Excuse _ me,” Thanatos huffed, putting his hands on his hips. “You’re just going to ignore us?”

No reply.

“Yeah, I hate to say it, but I think that’s kinda his whole deal?” Zagreus pointed out. “His name is literally Apathy.”

“Ugh. Whatever. The door’s right here,” Thanatos said, walking around the desk to reach for the door, but of course when he tried the nob, it was firmly locked. 

Apathy let out a suppressed chuckle, then, and Thanatos whipped around to glare at him.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, not amused.

“Nothing,” Apathy shrugged.

“Oh. So he  _ does _ speak,” Zagreus teased.

Apathy shrugged. 

“Hey wait a second,” Zagreus said, suddenly remembering: “You’re the gatekeeper Melancholy talked about, so  _ this _ is the gate.”

“Obviously,” Thanatos said.

“Hey—I, look, a lot happened in the last room. I forgot for a second,” Zagreus admitted, blushing slightly. “ _ Anyways _ . Point is, it’s your job to let people in and out of the inner sanctum. How do we do that, is there some kind of form we need to fill out?” he asked, gesturing to the piles of paperwork on Apathy’s desk.

“Oh, sure,” he said, lifting his mask again. “Here’s the request form. You’ll need one for each of you.” He pulled two sheets from a pile and put them down on the desk, then spun them around so they were facing Zagreus and slid them towards him.

“Oh. Thank you,” Zagreus said, reaching for one of the quills and giving it a good dip in one of the inkwells. He paused before he started writing, though, and looked up to see Thanatos staring at him in utter disbelief.

“What? Get over here, you need to fill it out too,” Zagreus said, suppressing a victorious smile.

“I just… can’t believe that worked,” Thanatos said, finally shaking himself from his stupor and joining him at the desk. They worked silently over their papers, filling out all of the required information, checking all the right boxes, and finally signing and initialing the documents.

“There. Can we go in now?” Zagreus said, pushing his sheet back towards Apathy. Thanatos did the same, tapping his fingers against the desk expectantly.

“Oh, sure, as soon as these documents get processed,” Apathy said, picking the both up and placing them at the top of a particularly large stack.

“Which will be… when?” Thanatos asked.

“Oh, you know… three to six business days,” Apathy yawned the words into his hand, then pulled his mask back down, and made to go back to sleep.

“Three to six… we don’t have three to six business days!” Thanatos yelled.

“Not my problem. You should have gotten the form in earlier,” Apathy shrugged. “Rules are rules.”

“Yeah, well your rules are stupid,” Zagreus said, crossing his arms.

“Ugh… isn’t there any way to, I don’t know, expedite the process?” Thanatos asked.

“Ah. You want an expedited form request?” Apathy asked, lifting his mask again.

“Yes! Please,” Thanatos nodded.

“Here you go,” Apathy retrieved another document, and laid it in front of them.

“Do we need two? Thanatos asked.

“No, one will do. You can request to expedite multiple documents, right here,” he pointed to the pertinent section, and Thanatos nodded, humming in agreement. Zagreus watched him fill it out, quick but precise, and then Thanatos handed it back.

“There. Now how long will it take?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Apathy shrugged. “I don’t review expedite requests, so you’ll have to wait until the boss is back in the office.”

“The… boss?” Thanatos questioned, and Zagreus could have sworn he saw his eye twitch.

“Mm-hm.”

“Who is your boss?”

“Hypnos.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Thanatos groaned, dragging his hands down over his face before slamming them onto the desk and leaning over to yell: “Hypnos. Is. Asleep!”

Apathy let out a long, lethargic yawm, stretching his arms and rolling his shoulders.

“Not my problem,” he said, tucking his mask back over his eyes and putting both hands under his head as he tried once more to go back to sleep.

“But it is your problem! He’s going to fall asleep forever, and you won’t let us through to stop him because of some stupid paperwork!?” Thanatos demanded, slamming his hands on the desk again.

“I’m just doing my job,” Apathy said, completely unfazed.

“And when has Hypnos ever done his job?” Thanatos yelled.

“ _ I’m _ not Hypnos. I’m just the gatekeeper,” Apathy sighed. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m taking my legally mandated 14 hour break.”

“You are impossible!” Thanatos shouted, shaking his fists in the air he was so angry, but Zagreus narrowed his eyes, almost sure there was the faintest of amused smiles on Apathy’s lips.

“Hey, calm down. I think he’s just messing with you,” Zagreus said, putting a hand on Thanatos’s shoulder.

“What?” Thanatos whipped around, incredulous.

“Well, no, I mean, I’m pretty sure all this paperwork stuff is real, but you’re wasting your time with it. He  _ wants _ to waste our time,” Zagreus explained. “He wants us to lose by inaction.”

“I assure you I have no such complicated schemes,” Apathy said.

“But you  _ are _ enjoying this,” Zagreus said, and suddenly Apathy’s smile dropped.

“I’m literally Apathy. I don’t _ enjoy _ anything,” he said, and even with his eyes still hidden behind the sleep mask, Zagreus could tell he was getting under his skin.

“No. You’re the gatekeeper. Your _ name  _ is Apathy, and it's a name you chose. I’m not stupid: I saw Cheerfulness frown, Melancholy smile. Even Anger had some… depth, to him,” Zagreus fought against a shiver at the remembrance of it, then gulped, and got himself back on track. “You do feel something, don’t lie.”

Apathy sighed, and pulled the sleep mask up to look Zagreus in the eyes.

“Oh, congratulations, you’ve got me _ all _ figured out,” he rolled his eyes, words dripping with sarcasm. “You want a reward now? Does Zag want a cookie? Hm?” he made a mocking, pouting face at him, and Zagreus took a step away, a bit taken aback.

“Um. No. That’s not what I—”

“No? Well, those other three sure bought it,” Apathy rolled his eyes, then put on a high-pitched, mocking voice: “Oh, Zag! You care about us? Of course we’ll do whatever you  _ fucking  _ want,” he trailed off with a glare.

“I… we'll, that's a bit harsh,” Zagrues frowned.

“The truth is harsh,” Apathy shrugged. “And the truth is, you don’t care as much as you say you do. Neither do you, Thanatos, and neither does… anyone. No one cares. End of story.”

“That’s.. horrible,” Zagreus said.

“You’ll get over it,” Apathy rolled his eyes. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I was trying to go to sleep.”

“No. No, you don’t get to sleep until you let us through,” Thanatos rushed forward then, getting behind the desk, to reach out and grab both of Apathy’s wrists, keeping him from pulling down the sleeping mask.

Apathy just smirked, and then disappeared.

“What?” Thanatos gasped.

“How do you like the taste of your own medicine?” Apathy asked, his voice coming from behind, and both Thanatos and Zagreus spun around to see him floating not far off: he’d teleported.

“Oh, so  _ I  _ can’t teleport but you can?” Thanatos huffed.

“Hey. It’s Hypnos’s mind,” Apathy shrugged.

“Hmm… so it is,” Thanatos nodded, looking down at the desk in front of him intently. He looked up then, and shared a meaningful look with Zagreus, before crossing his arms and letting out a long, somewhat forced huff of annoyance.

“So, what? You just want us to wait here until Hypnos falls asleep?” he asked.

“Well… that, or until your paperwork goes through. But, I think we know which is gonna happen first,” Apathy chuckled. Zagreus gasped quietly, suddenly understanding Thanatos’s meaning, and took a few steps closer to Apathy.

“Or, until I convince you to let us through,” he said, putting on his best willful-hero look.

Apathy rolled his eyes.

“I mean, you can’t really believe what you said, that no one cares. If we didn’t care, why would we be here?” Zagreus said.

“Because you  _ think _ you care. There’s a difference,” Apathy replied.

“Well, I disagree, but clearly you’re never going to believe me,” Zagreus sighed. “However…  _ you _ do care, and you know you do, even though you say you don’t. You wouldn’t even be engaging with us otherwise, now would you?”

“Oh, I care. Just not in the way you’re thinking,” Apathy said, and Zagreus gulped, seeing something dark, almost malicious in his eyes. Apathy looked past him, at Thanatos and the desk, then, and immediately that look was replaced with wide-eyes panic.

“Hey, stop that!” he shouted, and Zagreus spun around to see Thanatos with a large stamp in his hand, the entry requests laid out in front of him. Apathy teleported, trying to get behind him so he could hold him back, but Thanatos was too fast.

_ Stamp. Stamp. _

“No!” Apathy shrieked, pointlessly holding back Thanatos’s arms, the deed already done. They were cleared to go through.

Behind them, the door knob turned and clicked, the door opening just a smidge, a vast darkness visible behind.

“No, I won’t let you through!” Apathy yelled, throwing Thanatos to the side to slam the door shut again and stand in front of it protectively. “You don’t understand! It took me so long to finally get Loneliness to drink that damn vial!”

“What?” Zagreus said.

“You heard me! I’m not going to let you undo all my hard work,” he snapped back.

“So you’re the one who decided to drink  _ eternal sleep _ ?” Thanatos asked.

“No: I can’t make Hypnos  _ do _ anything, but I did convince Loneliness to get him to do it. Only took a million tries,” Apathy rolled his eyes. “Which is why I’m not going to let you through. I can’t let this be undone, when I’ve waited so long for it already.”

“Why? Why do you want this?” Zagreus shook his head, desperately confused.

“Because there is. No.  _ Point _ to anything,” Apathy spat the words out. “Hypnos lives a pointless existence while awake. The only thing he’s good at, the only thing he enjoys, is sleeping. What is so wrong about doing the thing you were made to do?”

“But… that’s…  _ awful _ ,” Zageus said, more sad than anything. “There’s so much more for him than that. He’s so much more than that.”

“Ugh, you make me sick!” Apathy rolled his eyes. “Stop pretending to care!”

“We’re not pretending. And we’re not taking no for an answer,” Thanatos said, his brows creased with anger. “Now move, or I will move you.”

“I’d like to see you tr—eep!” Apathy cut himself off with a yelp as Thanatos grabbed him around the waist, taking advantage of the fact that Apathy, with the same frame as Hypnos, could easily be manhandled by his larger, stronger brother. “Get off me!” Apathy pushed at Thanatos’s chest, but it was clear who was winning the wrestling match, and in a last bid to get away, Apathy teleported to the side, out of his grasp.

Not missing a beat, Thanatos kicked open the door, and then held it there with one arm while he looked back at Zagreus.

“Go! Quick!” he said, and Zagreus sprinted through into the darkness beyond.

“No!” Apathy roared, wrapping both his arms around one of Thanatos’s and put all of his weight into holding him back, keeping him from crossing the threshold.

“Come on! I’m not going on without you!” Zagreus said, grabbing his other arm and pulling with all of his strength, which, after a tense moment of tug-of-war, proved to be more than Apathy’s.

Thanatos came tumbling forward, joining Zagreus in the dark room beyond as the door shut on Apathy. If he was still screaming at them, if he was banging on the door, they couldn’t hear it; as soon as the door shut, it became one with the darkness, leaving them in a pitch black void.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're almost there! Hopefully?


	9. Chapter 9

“So… this is the inner sanctum?” Zagreus said, spinning around slowly to take in the dark void surrounding them.

“Hm. I suppose so. Not what I would have expected,” Thanatos nodded.

“Well, none of this was exactly expected, was it?” Zagreus joked.

“No, I suppose not,” Thanatos agreed solemnly, and Zagreus let his smile fade. They stood in silence for a moment, looking at all the nothing around them, and then Zagreus cleared his throat.

“So. Let’s take stock. We were told that Love and Fear are the aspects that used to reside in the inner sanctum, but they might not go by those names anymore,” he said.

“Mm. And I don’t know if you caught it, but Apathy said it was Loneliness who he convinced to take eternal sleep, so he must be in here,” Thanatos pointed out.

“Right. So maybe Loneliness is what Fear or Love go by now,” Zagreus suggested.

“Probably Fear, right? Or… well, actually, I guess it could go either way,” Thanatos mused, narrowing his eyes as he thought about it a little longer, but soon sighed and shook his head. “Well, either way. We have to find someone in here. It can’t _all_ be darkness.”

“Unless… you don’t think we’re too late?” Zagreus frowned.

“No. We… we can’t. I won’t accept that,” Thanatos shook his head. “Come on. We need to at least try.”

“Of course,” Zagreus nodded, hurrying to follow him; the last thing he wanted was to get separated in this dark void.

They moved inwards, or at least, in the direction that most felt like it moved towards where they imagined a center might be, and for a while saw nothing but the void surrounding them, until with a gasp, they spotted some blurry fragments of light up ahead. Speeding towards it, the light soon formed pictures, blurry at the edges and moving, sometimes slowly, sometimes fast, disappearing too quickly, or sometimes repeating the same brief movement over and over, in a loop, but in them all they recognised familiar faces. Nyx and Thanatos most often, sometimes Charon, Hades, Megaera, and of course, Zagreus. They were Hypnos’s memories. 

“Oh,” Zagreus said, slowing his pace as he took in all the flittering images. 

“Oh, Hypnos,” Thanatos said under his breath, and Zagreus turned to see where he was looking. A prominent memory was just in front of him, crisper around the edges than most, which showed Thanatos, younger than Zagreus could ever remember him being, smiling and reaching out. A hand from the corner took his, even smaller, and slightly more pale. It was Hypnos, being let forward by his brother. They played together, got into trouble, teleported away when Nyx tried to reprimand them. Thanatos never left him behind when he did, always took his hand to teleport with him. They touched freely, hugged, and laughed. The sound was dim, not as clear as the picture, but the laughter was there, soft and careless, as children are. 

“I’m a terrible brother, aren’t I?” Thanatos asked then, and Zagreus turned, surprised.

“What? You two look so happy,” he said, gesturing to the memory.

“But that was a long time ago. I’d… nearly forgotten,” Thanatos said, his brow scrunched. He looked near to tears again, and Zagrues noticed his jaw had finally started to blossom a bruise from where Agner had hit him. It was purple, and almost looked like the shape of a flower, growing out from the side of his lips.

“But Hypnos hasn’t,” Zagreus said, not entirely sure what he meant by it.

“No,” Thanatos agreed, clenching his fists and blinking his tears away. “And I won’t let him.”

“What game do you want to play today, Than?” a voice said behind them, then, distant yet distinct, too loud to be coming from the memories, and they instantly turned to see where it was coming from. 

“I knew you’d say that! That’s your favorite game!” the child was saying when they spotted him, walking along between the flashes of childhood memories. It was a child version of Hypnos wearing his adult-sized blanket cape over his tiny shoulders so it trailed behind him along the empty, black ground. It seemed he hadn’t noticed them yet, too busy talking to the doll of Thanatos he held out in front of himself, smiling and giggling as he skipped along.

“Hello?” Thanatos stepped forward, and the child gasped, turning to spot them as his face went white with shock.

“Wh-wh-who are you?” he shuttered out, hugging the doll tight to his chest and taking a few steps back.

Thanatos opened his mouth to reply, but the child yelped, then, and spoke before he could: “Wait, I just remembered! I’m not supposed to talk to strangers!” he said, and then took off in the opposite direction.

“Wait, no!” Thanatos sped off after him, and Zagreus followed.

“But we're not strangers!” he said, and suddenly the child came to a screeching halt.

“You’re not?” he looked over his shoulder, confused, but trusting, and gave Zagreus a look over. “Mm-mn, I don’t recognise you,” he shook his head, then moved onto Thanatos. “And you—” he paused, his eyes widening. “...Than?”

“Yes, it’s me, your brother,” he nodded, getting down on his knees so he was closer to the child’s height.

“Than!” his face lit up, bounding towards him with arms open wide. Thanatos opened his arms to accept him, and the child embraced him as tightly as his little arms could manage, burying his head of baby-soft curls into his brother’s chest. 

“You’re a lot bigger than I remember,” the child giggled then, looking up at Thanatos with a toothy grin.

“And you’re a lot smaller,” Thanatos replied, but then the child’s smile faltered.

“Yeah, I know,” he sighed. “I don’t know why I’m so much smaller than the other aspects. They all got bigger and I just… didn’t.”

“Hm,” Thanatos furrowed his brow. “What’s your name, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Love!” the child happily supplied the answer, and Zagreus and Thanatos both fought against a frown, having the same horrible thought at once: this aspect was stagnated because Hypnos hadn’t felt loved since he was a child.

“Well, Love. It’s nice to meet you,” Thanatos said, forcing a smile back onto his face. “Can you tell me about yourself? What do you usually do around here?”

“Mmmm… I mostly just watch the memories, and play with my Than doll!” Love said, holding the doll up proudly. “He looks just like you, see?”

“Yes, that’s very nice,” Thanatos nodded, and readjusted himself so he was sitting properly on the ground and Love could take a perch on his knee. Zagreus sighed and crossed his arms, watching with a bittersweet smile on his face. If Love really didn’t recognise him, it was better that Thanatos took the lead with this one, and he was doing a surprisingly good job with him, but Zagreus couldn’t help wondering why that was the case. Melancholy and Anger had made it pretty clear what Hypnos’s feelings for him were: why, then, was the aspect literally named Love a version of Hypnos that had only lived before Zagreus was even born?

“Is that all, then? Do you have any duties to attend to?” Thanatos questioned.

“Mmm… no? I don’t think so, anyway. Apathy only ever gives jobs to Fea—er, um—Loneliness,” Love answered, blushing at his mistake. “I always forget that he changed his name.”

“Fear changed his name to Loneliness?” Thanatos questioned.

“Mm-hm,” Love nodded. “All the other aspects have changed names at some point, some more than once! I couldn’t even remember all of Apathy’s old names if I tried,” he giggled for a moment, but then frowned remembering the subject at hand. “But Fear’s always been Fear. And we… We used to be friends. Best friends. He always used to let me help make decisions, but Apathy says I’m too little, now. He says… says Loneliness should do it on his own, because he’s big and I’m not.”

“Hm. Well that hardly seems fair,” Thanatos hummed.

“I dunno. I kinda like not making decisions,” Love shrugged. “It means I have more time to play!”

“But do you even know what’s going on out in the real world anymore?” Zagreus asked then, and Love startled, pulling his blanket-cape up to half cover his face.

“It’s okay, he’s nice, I promise,” Thanatos calmed him, and Love peeped out again, though he was still hesitant.

“B-but… I’m not supposed to talk to strangers,” he whispered to Thanatos.

“Then let's introduce him,” Thanatos said, and beckoned Zagreus over. He sat next to him, though kept a little distance so as not to startle Love. “Love, this is Zagreus. He’s your friend, er, Hypnos’s friend, in the real world.”

“Hi there, nice to meet you,” Zagreus waved.

“Hi,” Love said, quiet and with a few bashful flicks of his long, white eyelashes, and Zagreus smiled, thinking for a moment that it was a shame Hypnos was older than him, so he never knew him like this. He was really cute as a kid.

“See, now he’s not a stranger,” Thanatos said.

“I guess so,” Love nodded, a smile returning to his face. “And, um, no. I don’t see outside anymore.”

“I see,” Zagreus nodded.

“So… you don’t know what’s happening right now?” Thanatos asked.

“Hm? What do you mean?” Love shook his head. Thanatos and Zagreus shared a look, and Thanatos sighed, relenting.

“Uh… okay. I don’t, um, I don’t want to scare you…” he paused to gulp. “But we’re here because Hypnos is in danger and we need to save him.”

“What? What kind of danger?” Love asked, squeezing his doll tight to his chest.

“He… he’s asleep, and there’s a chance he might stay asleep forever if we can’t wake him up,” Thanatos admitted.

“Then we have to wake him up!” Love said.

“Yes, exactly. Do you know how to do that?” Thanatos asked.

“I—oh. No, I can’t anymore. Apathy doesn’t let me make decisions anymore,” Love shook his head, and his eyes started to fill with tears. “Oh no. Fear is… I mean, Loneliness is the only one who can wake him up…”

“So can you take us to him?” Zagreus asked.

“Mm-mn!” Love shook his head, and droplets of tears flicked from his closed eyes.

“But why? Do you know where he is?” Thanatos questioned.

“Mm-hm… but it’s too dangerous,” Love cried. “I knew something was wrong!”

“Why is it dangerous?” Thanatos asked.

“What’s wrong?” Zagreus said at the same time.

“He—he’s… trapped. There’s a storm. I didn’t know what it was so I just… and I’m not supposed to see him anymore so I… Oh, no, it’s all my fault!” Love cried into his hands, sobbing in the loud, snotty way children do.

“No, no, none of this is your fault,” Thanatos said, rubbing a hand up and down his back comfortingly. “It’s going to be okay, I promise.”

“B-but—” Love said, his lips quivering and cheeks red from crying, though the flow of tears had slowed.

“Don’t you trust me? Don’t you trust your brother?” Thanatos said, reaching out to wipe the tears from Love’s cheeks.

“Mm… I do,” he nodded reluctantly.

“I’m going to save you, okay? No matter what it takes. I’ve already come so far, so please, won’t you show us where Loneliness is?” Thanatos asked.

Love bit his lip, thinking, but then nodded.

“Okay,” he whispered, then held his arms out towards Thanatos’s shoulders. “But can you carry me?”

“Of course,” Thanatos nodded, scooping Love up as he stood, gathering the cape-blanket so when he settled him in his arms, he was wrapped up warmly in the red, quilted fabric, just his head and arms sticking out, the doll still held to his chest.

“This way,” he pointed over Zagreus’s shoulder, and they made off into the dark together. At first it seemed they weren’t going anywhere in particular, just more blank space to walk though, but neither Thanatos nor Zagreus wanted to question Love, so they kept walking regardless.

Eventually, though, they did see something. It was blurry at first, but it stood out in the vast darkness, and became more clear, though no less chaotic as they got closer.

“See? A storm,” Love said, pointing ahead at the blurr of color from his perch in Thanatos’s arms. 

In front of them there was a swirling mass of light and color, dark and flashing, like storm clouds and lightning whipped by wind. They stood still in front of it for a moment, taking in the ominous wall of storm looming over them, but then Zagreus took a step forward, squinting.

“Is that…” he questioned, then gasped. “Yes. It’s memories. Like the ones we saw before, but spinning, flashing…”

“You’re right. There’s images in there,” Thanatos nodded.

“Fear is the keeper of negative memories,” Love explained, and they both turned to look at him, surprised. “Like I’m the keeper of positive memories. And he takes stock of negative feelings, to make decisions, while I consider the positive ones.”

“But Apathy barred you from decision making,” Zagreus said, and Love nodded solemnly.

“So everything’s out of balance,” Thanatos said.

“Mm…” Love agreed, but his mind seemed to be somewhere else already, staring with a hopeless, unfocused gaze at the storm in front of him. “He’s in there… and I can’t reach him,” he whispered.

“No, wait,” Zagreus shook his head. “But you have to. I… I get it now. We need to reunite you two, only then will Hypnos be strong enough to fight off _eternal sleep_.”

“Really? You think so?” Thanatos questioned.

“Think about it. Nyx said we had to convince him to fight it, not fight it for him. He still has to be the one to wake himself up, and then the only way he even has a chance is if Love, his positive feelings, are being taken into account. With only Fear, or, uh, Loneliness in there, only his negative feelings—”

“Yes. He’ll lose, unequivocally,” Thanatos nodded, finishing the thought.

“But… but I can’t… it’s too scary,” Love shook his head, clinging to Thanatos’s chest as tears rose to his eyes.

“But we’re here with you. We’ll keep you safe,” Thanatos said.

“You don’t understand—” 

“We do,” Zagrues cut him off. “Enough of it, anyways. We know how hurt he is. We know what those memories will hold.”

Love looked up at him, eyes wide, then sniffled, and reached up to dry his eyes.

“Yes, that’s true. We’ve already been confronted with all Hypnos’s pain, and… and I understand how much of it I am the source of,” Thanatos admitted. “It will be painful to see it, to relive it, yes. But don’t think we don’t understand the challenge we’re faced with. We would face anything, do anything, to save Hypnos now. We’ve made it too far to turn back.”

Love stared up at his brother throughout his speech, eyes getting wet again and lips wobbling, and at last began to cry when he was finished, though it wasn’t the same as his fearful tears; he was overwhelmed.

“Than… if he only knew you cared so much in the first place… this wouldn’t have happened at all,” he said, his voice seeming to change as he spoke, not necessarily deepening, but losing some of the whine and mumble of an especially young child. Thanatos looked surprised, then, readjusting him in his arms, and Zagreus gasped quietly. He was growing: _had_ grown. 

“Um… can I put you down?” Thanatos asked, and Love nodded, so he set him down on the ground, revealing he was twice as tall as before, standing as tall as his brother’s hip. He was still a child, but an older one, one who understood, finally, that there was pain in the world, and in himself.

He faced the storm, gulped, steeled himself, and reached for his brother’s hand.

“I can make it, if you both come with me,” he said.

“Of course,” Thanatos nodded, squeezing Love’s hand.

“I’ll lead the way,” Zagreus said, and turned to face the storm, taking one last deep breath before marching forward into the flashing tide of memories.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone's curious, the idea for Love and Fear was based on the idea I've heard a few times that love and fear are the two core emotions at the heart of all other feelings, that everything we feel can be traced back to one of those two feelings. So, that said, Love isn't actually the embodiment of Hypnos's love, but source and keeper of all his positive feelings/experiences. Fear (who for the moment has taken the name Loneliness) is the opposite, but you'll see more of him next time.
> 
> Also! I just wanted to shout out some absolutely lovely fan art of this fic by @agileo101 on twitter, which you can find here: https://twitter.com/agileo101/status/1362129024546459648  
> Give their amazing art a look!!


	10. Chapter 10

The rush of the storm was instantaneous, pulling Zagreus in the moment he stepped past the threshold. It felt as if a great wind was whipping against him, and he had to put his arms up to shield his face as he pushed through, steps staggering and slow, but when he looked back, Thanatos was holding Love’s hand tight, guiding him forward without fault. He smiled, and turned back to continue forward, when he was confronted by an image, flashing towards him and lingering, forcing him to see it.

It was Hypnos crying, holding a pillow to his face and sobbing on his bed, the cries muffled but audible, ringing through his head and striking grief into his heart. He gasped, blinked, and the image disappeared, but its effect remained.

“Are you alright back there—” he started, turning back to check on them again, but his vision was swarmed once more by a memory, and he lost sight of them. Instead, he saw only an image of Thanatos looking at him—through him, at Hypnos—and glaring before he teleported away, leaving an empty, hollow feeling behind him. Zagreus gasped, a visceral feeling of loneliness he’d never felt before punching through him like it had taken solid form.

“Than, Love? Where are you?” he looked around, trying to spot the others, but saw only the barrage of light and color of the memories around him. His heart was beating in his ears, breath coming in gasps, memories accosting him left and right. Hypnos, alone: Hypnos, afraid: Hypnos, abandoned: Hypnos, heartbroken. With each image of despair, the feeling cut through him like a knife, pushed him down like a club. He stumbled onwards, not sure which way he was moving anymore, if he was turned around, he couldn’t tell. He clung his hands to his head, shut his eyes, let tears fall, but the feelings wouldn’t leave, crawling around in his chest, scratching at his throat. Was this how Hypnos felt? Was this how much he was hurting?

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Zagreus cried, taking a few last stumbling steps before at last the wind parted in front of him, and he fell forward onto his knees, too used to bracing against it to stop himself moving forward. 

His eyes snapped open, and the feelings evaporated, gone as soon as they had come. 

“Wha-where?” he turned over, searching his surroundings frantically.

He was in the eye of the storm. The memories still flashed all around him in a massive circle of swirling light, but he had found a pocket of emptiness, where the dark void left space to breath and think. He gulped, getting back up to his feet, and furrowed his brow, trying to understand all that he had seen.

_ Was _ that how Hypnos felt? It was so intense, so condensed, it couldn’t have been like that all the time. Instead, it seemed far more probable that what he had felt in there, what the storm  _ was _ , was the combined weight of all his years of misery. It was every negative feeling, every discontented emotion, every miserable memory condensed into one miasma of pain, and Zagrues had only gotten a taste of it.

“Than, are you close? I’m in… huh,” Zagreus started to call out, then paused, realizing he wasn’t alone. In the very center of the eye of the storm, a figure sat on the ground, knees tucked up into his chest and arms wrapped around his legs to pull himself into the smallest, most compact form his long, lanky body could take. It was Hypnos, again, though this aspect seemed faded, his skin greyer, his hair limp, his eyes distant and expression blank. Even his clothes had lost their color and flair, his usual red and gold ensemble swapped for a simple grey chiton.

“Oh. Um, hello. You must be Loneliness?” Zagreus asked hesitantly, but he received no response, not even a change in expression.

“Uh…” he gulped, wondering suddenly if he was actually just a statue, since he sat so completely still, but then he saw those heavy eyes slowly blink, and he sighed a breath of relief. It really was the final aspect.

“Okay, so… well, this is awkward. I actually came in here with two other folks and, um, I don't know where they are, and I don’t particularly want to go back in there, and… well, it looks like you’re not going to talk to me. Am I right in that?” Zagreus spoke, more to fill the silence than anything.

Once again, Loneliness made no move to react, much less respond to his words, so Zagreus sighed into his hand and nodded his head.

“Right. Of course,” he mumbled, and then steadied himself with a deep breath before walking up to Loneliness and sitting down in front of him. 

“Well. Hello. I’m… Zagreus, though I think you already know that,” he said, recalling with a flash of pain through his chest the desperate feeling of longing that had pierced him as he walked through the storm. Hypnos’s love for him had caused him nothing but pain, it seemed, and Zagreus found himself going still, staring down at his hands as guilt washed over him.

“Um, anyways,” he forced himself to continue, though he could hardly meet Loneliness’s distant gaze. “We came here… I mean, I came here with Thanatos, I just don’t know where he is… but, regardless, we came here to wake you up. I know…  _ gods _ , I know how much pain you’re in, and I understand why you wanted that pain to go away, but, please, we don’t want to lose you. And, more than anything, we… I want you to be happy. I want Hypnos to be happy, if he can be,” he said, slowly bringing his eyes back onto Loneliness’s blank face as he spoke, and if he wasn’t mistaking himself, it almost looked like his lower lip had trembled for a fraction of a second.

“And I know that must seem so impossible, so far away, but… dammit, it’s worth a try. You can’t just give up! I mean, I’ve died something like fifty times now trying to leave the underworld, and everyone wants to tell me it's impossible anyways, but do I give up? No, I keep going, because each time I get closer, no matter how many times I fall back to the beginning,” Zagreus said, then paused, realized he was getting a bit caught up in a metaphor that didn’t perfectly map onto the current situation, and shook his head to get himself back on track. “Anyways, the point is, even if you can’t possibly imagine Hypnos being happy, I really, really think he can be, if only you’ll let him wake up and try again.”

Loneliness said nothing, but his eyes lifted for a moment, meeting Zagreus’s gaze before they fell back into a blank stare at the ground.

“You’re listening,” Zagreus leaned forward, encouraged, and continued. “Um, well, I know you’re probably thinking now: but what’s the point in trying again if nothing’s changed, right? But things will change. Thanatos and I, we’ve met all the aspects, gone through the whole length of Hypnos’s mind to get to you. We know what he needs, and we want to help him. We wouldn’t be here if we didn’t want to help him,” Zagrees said, his voice growing softer, and he swore he saw Loneliness’s fingers twitch, grip getting antsy around his knees.

“And honestly, I swear on my own life, I would’ve done anything to help him feel better before all this too, if only I knew he was in pain. Which I… I assumed maybe he was, but…” he shook his head, trying to remind himself of the point he was making: “But I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to help him. But I do now, and I will, and Than will too, if you give us the chance.”

He paused, waiting for even the faintest reaction, and was shocked when after a moment Loneliness lifted his head and met his eyes with a hazy, defeated gaze.

“It’s a nice thought,” he spoke, voice threadbare, dulled from disuse, “but no.”

“What?” Zagreus felt his heart drop into his stomach and realized with a gasp of horror that the storm was moving closer, the eye collapsing in on itself. In a few moments, there would be no peaceful void, and Loneliness would be consumed by the whirling winds of pain.

He’d lose the fight if it reached him, Zagreus realized; he’d succumb to  _ eternal sleep _ .

“No! No, you have to fight! He can’t lose,” Zagreus reached out and shook Loneliness by the shoulders, but it was useless, he remained limp. “ _ I _ can’t lose him, please!” he begged, tears he didn’t even realize had gathered falling from his eyes in surprisingly cold streaks down his burning cheeks.

“Finally, we’re free,” he heard a voice then, and looked up with a gasp to see Thanatos coming through the storm into the ever-tightening space of the eye.

“Please tell me—” Zagreus jumped to his feet, but didn’t even have to finish his question. Love was there, still holding Thanatos’s hand, his eyes wide and mouth agape at the sight of Loneliness.

“Fear,” he breathed out the old name, and rushed forward to embrace his friend.

“Love,” Loneliness looked up, surprised, and his posture instantly loosened, the encroaching storm slowing. “How did you get here?”

“Than helped me through. He… still cares. He still loves us as much as he used to, even if it doesn’t seem like it,” Love explained.

“Oh, Love. You know that’s not true. You’re biased,” Loneliness said, holding out his hands to hold Love’s cheeks in a gentle grasp. 

“So are you,” Love protested. “That’s why we’re meant to make decisions together, don’t you remember?”

“But you’re—”

“I know, I know! You’re big and I’m little,” Love cut him off. “But what does that matter! My opinion should still count! You still need me to balance you out!”

“Love,” Loneliness paused then, pulling his hands away. “Have you changed? You’re… bigger.”

“I’ve grown,” Love crossed his arms, “and I’ll keep growing until I’m bigger than you, if that’s what it takes. I won’t let him stay asleep. He has to wake up!”

“But—”

“But nothing! He won’t be any better off like this! Sleep is nothing! And yes, life is painful, but there’s good too! I’m here, aren’t I? I’m the proof,” Love said, pressing two fingers into his own chest as tears streamed from his eyes.

“I’m scared, Love. I don’t want to go back,” Loneliness shook his head.

“I know. But you don’t have to be alone anymore. I won’t leave your side again, not ever. Apathy can’t keep us apart anymore,” Love assured him, reaching out to embrace his counterpart. 

“You’ll stand up to him?” Loneliness asked, arms raised like he wanted to hug Love back, but wasn’t sure enough in himself to do it.

“Yes. I’ll grow big, and I’ll tell him who’s boss,” Love said.

“And then Hypnos will be happy?” Loneliness questioned.

“We can only hope,” Love whispered, opening his eyes to give a meaningful look over Loneliness’s shoulder at Zagreus and Thanatos, who stood watching at the edge of the storm. Zagreus gulped, but Thanatos nodded, already seeming sure of their victory.

“Hoping is your job,” Loneliness said, even as he hugged Love back.

“Then leave it to me,” Love answered, and the storm around them pulsed with light, glowing brighter and brighter as it closed in around them.

“Wait, no—” Zagreus reached out, but then the tide consumed him, and he understood: the good memories had joined the bad, and the mesh of feelings that washed over him was so profound, so scattered and distant, yet whole and purposeful, that it stole the breath from his lungs, made him feel as if floating, bodiless.

In front of him, the last thing he saw as he was taken by the new storm, was Love growing in Loneliness—in  _ Fear’s _ embrace, until at last he was the same size, fully grown, and the light was too bright to see them any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy they did it!!! Hopefully??
> 
> ((Also, I'm starting to realize that 5 more chapters is probably not going to be enough to do all the things I want to before this fic wraps up, so... yeah, the chapter count is probably gonna go up soon, not that I think anyone would be disappointed by that lol))


	11. Chapter 11

“What happened!?” Zagreus jolted awake, the bright light burning an after image on his eyes that made him twice as disoriented as he tried to get back to his feet.

“Calm, child. You have returned,” Nyx said, and at the pressure of a hand on his shoulder, Zagreus slumped back down and took a few panting breaths to calm himself. He blinked, and his vision returned to him, revealing that he was back in Hypnos’s room, awake.

“Hypnos,” Thanatos startled awake then, abruptly standing from his slumped seat on the floor next to Zagreus, but then looked around, confused.

“You’re both back,” Nyx said, and Thanatos turned to face her. “Did you succeed?”

“I—I think so,” he said, looking down at Hypnos then, but he still lay perfectly asleep on his bed.

“Oh, no,” Megaera said then, and finally Zagreus realized they weren’t the only ones in the room. Lingering closer to the door were Megaera, Dusa, and Achilles, all watching with apprehension for any sign of a stir in Hypnos’s slumber.

“Hypnos, come on! Wake up!” Thanatos reached out, shaking him by the shoulders, and at last they saw Hypnos scrunch up his eyes, bat at Thanatos’s hands, and roll over.

“Five more minutes…” he mumbled, and everyone let out a collective sigh. He sounded completely like his usual self again.

“Wait, what?” he rolled back over, eyes blinking to clear his vision, probably surprised to hear the sound of so many people gathered around him. Sure enough, when he saw that nearly the entire household was watching him intently, he started up to sitting, face instantly flushing and eyes going wide. “Um! Hi? What is… everyone doing in my room?”

“Do you not remember what just happened?” Thanatos asked, pulling back slightly.

“Um… hm. Well, I was on a break so I went back to my room to take a nap, and then—” he paused, blushing slightly, and looked around, confused. Zagreus realized he was probably looking around for the dolls, which were still hidden in the corner, he could see, but he bit his tongue rather than reveal their existence to the entire assembled crowd.

“A-anyways, then I guess I went to sleep? What’s the big hullabaloo?” Hypnos chuckled awkwardly as he finished.

“You really don’t remember?” Nyx asked, her voice laced with genuine concern, and apparently that tone was enough to have the memory flashing beck, because Hypnos’s face grew pale, and he gasped.

“Oh. Oh! Oh no…” he looked around, frantic at first, then settled on his mother’s gaze with a heavy gulp. “But it didn’t work?”

“Oh, it worked alright,” Thanatos corrected, and at his harsh tone, Zagreus put a hand on his arm to calm him.

“But we brought you back,” Zagreus said. “And learned a few things, remember Than?” he added in a pointed tone, and Thanatos blushed for a moment, then sighed.

“Right, I… Hypnos. I’m really sorry,” Thanatos said, letting himself settle on the edge of the bed, next to his brother.

“About what?” Hypnos asked, looking more confused by the second.

“Everything, really. I was… I shouldn’t have… Look. I’m not good at this sort of thing,” Thanatos huffed, hands clenching on his lap for a moment before he turned back to face Hypnos. “But, here,” he mumbled, and pulled him in for a tight hug.

“Oh! U-uh, thanks, Than…” Hypnos awkwardly returned the embrace, patting his brother’s back, and Zagreus furrowed his brow. That wasn’t exactly the reaction he had been expecting. In fact, none of this was.

“Hypnos?” he asked, and Thanatos let him go so he could nod in response. “Do you not remember what happened, when we went, well… inside your head?”

“Inside my what?” Hypnos said, shock written all over his face.

“That’s a no, then,” Zagreus frowned.

“What… what is going on? What happened? And why is everyone here?” Hypnos finally let all his questions loose, his breathing heightened by panic. “I just… I don’t understand.”

“We found you, asleep,” Thanatos started to explain. “Zagreus and I. I saw the empty bottle on your desk and pieced together what happened, so I went to get mother.”

“Yes. And I confirmed his fears, but I knew you were not yet completely gone, so I put them both to sleep so I could connect your minds through the realm of dreams and allow them to aid you in the fight against _ eternal sleep _ ,” Nyx said.

“And then, inside your mind, we met… sort of like all the different parts of you? It was—” Zagreus started, then forced himself to stop, realizing it was all far too personal to explain in front of everyone. In fact, Hypnos might even resent the two of them for all they knew now, without his consent, so he gulped and guided the conversation away. “Well, anyways. It’s a long story, perhaps for another time. But the point is we got you to wake up.”

“Oh, I see,” Hypnos nodded, though he still seemed somewhat distant. It was all a lot to take in. “So when did everyone else get here?”

“I was actually just wondering that myself,” Thanatos turned to face them with his arms crossed, and Dusa yelped and floated back towards the door.

“Well, I should be going now! I’m glad you’re alright, Hypnos, sir!” she said, but then Megaera reached out and pulled her back.

“Oh, no you don’t. She’s the only reason we know,” she said, looking across at Achilles.

“Yes. We were simply in the lounge, completely unaware, when Dusa came in looking quite upset about something,” he confirmed.

“Ah, I’m sorry! I was cleaning some rooms down here, and the door was open, so I looked, and it looked like something was really wrong! And I-I-I… I couldn’t  _ not  _ say something!” Dusa stumbled to explain.

“Hey, it’s alright,” Megaera said. “I’m glad I even knew at all. I’d hate to have found out about it afterwards.”

“Wha… really? Why?” Hypnos asked.

“Because I’m your friend and I care about you?” Megaera raised a brow, confused as to why she had to state the obvious.

“Oh,” Hypnos looked down at his hands, almost guilty.

“I know… we haven’t spoken much, but I feel the same. We just wanted to know you were going to be alright,” Achilles said.

“Yes! And we’re all very happy that you are,” Dusa nodded.

“That’s… thank you,” Hypnos nodded, blinking fast to keep his damp eyes from forming tears.

“Well, we’re happy that you’re awake,” Zagreus said, sitting next to Thanatos on the bed, his hand moving forward like he wanted to take hold of one of Hypnos’s but then faltered, and continued his sentiment. “But it’s okay if you’re not okay, you know? I’m sorry I was such an idiot about that before… but I get it now. Or, at least, I understand better. Than and I both do, right?”

“Yes,” Thanatos nodded. “I promise, things are going to change. I’ll… do my best to stop being such a jerk to you.”

Hypnos chuckled at that, smiling weakly.

“Well, that’s a start,” he said, but soon enough he was frowning, looking concerned again. “Gosh, this is all… a lot to take in. I… can I… well, I guess being alone isn’t the best idea either, but…”

“You want some space?” Zagreus asked, standing up.

“Yes. Please,” he nodded.

“Here. How about family only for now?” Zagreus proposed. “So you three can talk in private.”

“That would be good,” Nyx nodded.

“Are you okay with that?” Zagreus asked Hypnos.

“Mm-hm,” he nodded.

“I sh-should um, get back to work anyways!” Dusa said, and zipped out of the door.

“As should I,” Achilles nodded, but took another moment to give a sympathetic nod in Hypnos’s direction before he left.

“Fine, if we have to. Come on, Zag,” Megaera waved him over, and he walked towards the door with her.

“Oh, but, um. I’ll be around. For a while. If you want to talk,” he said, turning back to Hypnos just before he left.

“Okay. Thanks,” Hypnos nodded, a little color in his cheeks, and Zagreus felt a warm feeling bubble up in his chest at the sight of it. He gulped, then, and forced himself to follow his own suggestion, tucking the door shut behind him so he could be alone with his family.

—

“So you and Thanatos were inside his mind? Literally?” Megaera asked.

“Um, honestly I still don’t really know how it all worked exactly, but, yes. We were definitely in there,” Zagreus nodded. They’d walked to the lounge together, too preoccupied with what had just happened to do much of anything besides talk about it. Zagreus, for one, wouldn’t be leaving any time soon; he’d already decided to put his escape on hold while Hypnos might need him around.

“What was it like?” Megaera questioned. “Because for the rest of us, it was an excruciating half hour of watching the three of you sleep and hoping, somehow, everything was going to end well.”

“Oh, right. I suppose it must have been pretty boring,” Zagreus chuckled. “Um, but, I don’t know how much I really have the right to say? I feel pretty guilty about invading his privacy like that to begin with, even if it was necessary to get him back, so I don’t know that I should be telling other people.”

“Oh. I see,” Megaera nodded understandingly, but still looked disappointed.

“Well, here. It can’t hurt to summarize,” Zagrues shrugged. “Basically, we met a bunch of different versions of Hypnos, who called themselves aspects, and each did different things in his mind and had different personalities. We had to talk to each of them to figure out how to continue and who to ask about waking him up.”

“Huh. And I guess eventually you figured it out?” she asked.

“Yes, eventually. Though it was… difficult to get there,” Zagreus looked down and worried his lips for a moment, trying to think of how to phrase it without getting too personal. “He’s… not happy. Well, that much should be obvious, but I mean… it was kind of a mess in there. He’s been hiding a lot of pain.”

“So you think that’s why he did it?” she questioned, brows furrowed in concern.

“I… yes. I’d have to assume so,” Zagreus nodded slowly, and then let out a heavy sigh. “Gods, I just feel so bad knowing he was so… so  _ hurt _ he wanted to leave everything behind. I sensed something was wrong with him a while ago but I never… never did anything about it.”

“Well, now, don’t go blaming yourself. You’ve been the most attentive to him of any of us lately, haven’t you?” Megaera pointed out.

“I… well, yes. But I think I’ve caused him pain in other ways,” Zagreus admitted with a noticeable flush in his cheeks.

“Oh?” she raised a brow.

“Nothing. It’s— _ I  _ shouldn’t even know about that. Let’s change the subject,” he shook his head.

“If you insist,” she chuckled to herself, but was soon frowning again. “I’ve been a bad friend to him, too, you know.”

“Oh, no, don’t. If I can’t blame myself, neither can you,” Zagreus said.

“But I mean it. I haven’t talked to him much at all since you started this whole escape nonsense. The only times have been when you’ve sent me back to the Styx, and then I’m not usually in the mood for conversation,” she rolled her eyes.

“Oh, sorry about that,” Zagreus chuckled.

“Hey, about that. Back there, you said you’d be around for a while. Does that mean…?” Megaera trailed off, not daring to finish the question.

“Yeah. My escape is on hold, for now. I… I need to be around. For him,” he answered.

“So that’s what it takes to make you stay, huh?” she crossed her arms, looking a little upset, though there was still relief in her voice.

“Meg, come on. You know that’s not fair,” Zagreus sighed.

“No. I’m happy, really. I’d seriously kill you if you left in the middle of all this,” she shook her head.

“Yeah, but don’t you do that anyways?” he chuckled in response.

“You know what I mean,” Megaera rolled her eyes.

“I know. I do,” Zagreus nodded, but then the two of them found that they didn't have much else to say, too preoccupied with thinking to continue the conversation.

“I should check on him, actually,” Zagreus said after a moment.

“I thought you said family only?” Megaera questioned, but from her knowing smirk, he could tell she was only teasing, not reprimanding.

“Yeah, well, they’ve had enough alone time, for now,” Zagreus chuckled. “I suppose I’ll see you around?”

“I suppose so,” she shrugged back, and he gave her one last smile and a half-wave before rushing from the room, an urgency to see Hypnos again filling him rather unexpectedly. He just had to be sure he was okay: or, rather, as okay as he could be at the moment. He only hoped Hypnos actually wanted to see him, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna be honest here, I don't really know as much about Megaera's character as Hypnos, Zag, and Than, but it felt kind of weird to not include her in this fic so she'll be popping up a little bit in this last section (as will a few other characters, I think) but I just felt it was worth mentioning that I might be kind of filling in the gaps with my own head cannons as to her relationship with Hypnos because I don't really know anything about it in cannon.   
> Anyways, after this point in the fic, it's going to return to a mainly Hypnos-centric POV (though I might switch back to Zagreus on occasion) so you can look forward to seeing Hypnos's thoughts more next time!


	12. Chapter 12

Hypnos looked down at his hands, feeling a warmth in his cheeks and a wobble in his throat as he tried to process what Thanatos had just told him. It was so surreal, to imagine himself fragmented into aspects, taking up residence in the various domains of his mind, not knowing if it was real or some strange manifestation of  _ eternal sleep _ , his mother’s magic, or something else entirely, and yet, knowing that it was real enough for both Thanatos and Zagreus to have experienced it. Real enough, also, to have changed the outcome of his battle with _ eternal sleep _ .

They’d convinced him to wake.

He wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

“I know… that it’s a lot to take in, but I think for now we should focus on the promise I made,” Thanatos reached out then, and took one of Hypnos’s hands in his, giving it a squeeze that brought him back into the present moment. “I promise you won’t be so lonely anymore and I… I won’t be so cruel. I never want to hurt you like that again. I’m really sorry.”

“Y-you don’t have to apologize,” Hypnos shook his head. “You didn’t know.”

“But I should have. I should have… I don’t know, I should have done everything differently. I see that now. Please let me apologize for how I acted before?” Thanatos insisted.

“If you really want to,” Hypnos chuckled, though the sound wasn’t nearly as happy as it usually was.

“I really do,” Thanatos said, and Hypnos found himself suddenly feeling like he was going to cry, so he bit his lip and turned to his mother instead, who was sitting farther away, looking at the two of them with a sadness he didn’t have the strength to process in the moment.

“I… hate to even ask, but, was I away from my post long? Is… Lord Hades waiting for me to get back to work?” he said, even though he loathed the idea of doing so; he just didn’t know what else he could say that wouldn’t pertain too deeply to what he’d just done, or tried to do, really.

“Oh, child. Do not concern yourself with that for now,” she shook her head, then seemed to reconsider slightly, sighing. “But, if you must know, you were asleep for quite some time before we found you. Lord Hades had grown quite frustrated with the pile up of work and may… may already be considering a replacement.”

“Oh,” Hypnos said, not sure how to feel about that, either.

“Would you… be disappointed to lose your position? I was not under the impression you enjoyed it much,” Nyx asked.

“I… didn’t. But I don’t want to disappoint everyone—”

“We would understand if you wanted to give up your position,” Nyx cut him off, placing a hand on your shoulder. “Don’t think of disappointing us, please. We just want you to be okay.”

“Yes, Hypnos. I’m sorry I ever prioritized your job over your wellbeing. It was wrong, and I think everyone would much rather see you happy and unemployed than miserable and working,” Thanatos joked, but Hypnos didn’t find any humor in it. Instead, he looked down, blinking through tears that dropped heavily against the blanket.

“But… what if I… what if I can’t be okay? What if I’m never happy?” he whispered.

“Hypnos, what are you saying?” Thanatos moved closer, trying to see his face, so he covered it with the blanket and took a deep, shuttering breath as the fabric soaked the tears from his cheeks. 

He was saying, he knew, that he wasn’t sure he even wanted them to wake him up, but he also knew he couldn’t tell them that. Simply seeing how hurt they were that he did it all was enough: he didn’t want to know the pain they’d feel if he said he might have rather they let him lose the fight and sleep forever. So, instead, he sighed and pulled the blanket down and said the first thing that came to mind to redirect the conversation.

“I don’t want to lose my job. If I can help it, I mean,” he said.

“Oh,” Nyx looked surprised, but not unpleasantly.

“Oh?” Thanatos looked more suspicious, but neither had any time to make a full reply, as just then there was a knock at the door.

“Um, hello? Hypnos? It’s me, Zagreus. Can I, um, can I come in?” came the voice from the other side, sounding more nervous than usual.

“Of course,” Hypnos answered without thinking.

The door opened then, and Zagreus popped in, a sheepish smile on his face.

“Hi,” he said, and then gulped, shut the door, and walked a little further into the room, though he seemed hesitant to get too close, perhaps afraid that he was intruding. “I just wanted to check on you. Is everything—well, I mean, how are you? I suppose?” he asked, and Hypnos let out one half-hearted chuckle at the fact that he was still trying to avoid asking if he was alright.

“Not great,” he shrugged, and then bit his lip, realizing how much he regretted scaring Zagreus off like that. “But… I appreciate your concern,” he added in a whisper, hoping that would encourage him to keep being concerned.

“Well… is there anything I can do?” Zagreus asked, taking another hesitant step forward, his eyes shifting to Thanatos, who shared a guilty look with him. Hypnos sighed then, realizing that Zagreus, if he was in there with Thanatos, probably pitied him just as much now after everything he must have seen.

“N-not really,” he finally answered.

“Oh. Well, I… I just want you to know, when I said before that I would be around if you wanted to talk, I meant that… for the foreseeable future, I will be remaining in the house. My escape is on hold, for now,” Zagreus explained, and they all looked up at him, surprised.

“How did you come to this decision?” Nyx asked, not seeming to understand.

“Well, I can’t just leave, now. I’d feel terrible walking away after…” Zagreus paused, biting his lip, and then his eyes flitted away as his cheeks grew pink.

Hypnos’s eyes widened, realizing with a lurch in his stomach that there was a very real possibility Zagreus had learned the nature of his feelings while he was inside his mind. 

“What I mean is… look. I won’t stay if you really don’t want me around, but it seemed to me while we were… you know, in your mind… that you feel really lonely a lot of the time. And it also seemed that you consider me—” he paused, gulping, then decided on the words: “You consider me a close friend. So, what I’m trying to say is, if you want me to, I’d be more than happy to keep you company, so you won’t be lonely anymore. But, obviously, if you don’t, I can go—”

“No!” Hypnos cut him off at that suggestion, but felt a rush of shame through his cheeks at how eager it had made him sound, and forced his eyes to stare down into his lap instead. “I mean… I’d like that, yes. Please, stay.”

“Ah, good, yes, well, that’s settled then,” Zagreus sighe a breath of relief. “Now did I interrupt something, or…?”

“Oh, right. Hypnos?” Thanatos said, and Hypnos looked up at his brother, eager to have somewhere else to look so he didn’t have to blush at Zagreus anymore. “You really want to get back to your job?”

“I, well, if I can. It would give me something to do, at least,” he said.

“It doesn’t look like you’ve been replaced, yet,” Zagreus said. “So that might actually be possible. Though… there’s quite the backlog. It’ll be a lot of work.”

“Right, exactly. Are you sure that’s really such a good idea?” Thanatos questioned.

“I—what’s that supposed to mean?” Hypnos felt his lip wobbling, and tried not to say what seemed glaringly obvious; they only thought of him as more weak, more useless, now. 

“Just that, right now, you might not be in the… best condition to take that on,” Thanatos explained carefully.

“At least, perhaps not alone,” Nyx suggested then. “Would you be willing to have someone help you, at least while you sort through the backlog of shades in the line?”

“Oh. Um… I guess so,” Hypnos shrugged. “But who would even—”

“I’ll help!” Zagreus stepped up before he could even finish the question.

“Zagreus, that’s not—” Nyx started to protest, but he shook his head. 

“No, I want to. Please. If you’re okay with that,” he said, turning to Hypnos as he asked for permission. Hypnos felt his face flush again, not sure what to make of his insistence except that, compared to jumping back into work on his own, doing so with Zagreus didn’t sound so bad.

“Sure,” he shrugged, and immediately Zagreus’s face lit up with a smile.

“Well, good. I’ll leave you two to that, then, and… I’ll be back soon,” Thanatos said, hesitating a moment before hugging Hypnos again.

“Oh! Gosh, is this going to become a thing with you? You know, hugging me?” he chuckled out the words awkwardly, but returned the embrace nonetheless.

“You specifically asked me to hug you,” Thanatos said, pulling away with confusion riddled in his brows.

“Oh, did I? You know I don’t remember anything that happened in there, right?” Hypnos pointed out.

“I… yes. Sorry. I’ll stop if—”

“No, no, it’s okay,” Hypnos shook his head. “It’s just surprising, is all. Might take some getting used to.”

“I understand. I’m still getting used to it too,” Thanatos nodded. “Oh, right, I was about to go. Is that…?”

“Yes, I’ll be fine. Zag will keep me company,” he forced a giggle as he said it, desperately trying to hide his panic at the idea. It seemed to work, because Zagreus only smiled wider, his hands placed triumphantly on his hips.

“I’ll see you two later, then,” Thanatos nodded to them both before teleporting away, likely to catch up on the work he’d missed while dealing with Hypnos’s… predicament.

“I suppose I should also leave you to your work, then,” Nyx said, standing up. “Or… no. I will speak to Lord Hades to explain your absence. I imagine he would not be displeased to see you back to work for the moment, but I will inform you if he has other plans regarding your position.”

“Right. Thanks, mo—I mean, Mother Nyx,” Hypnos said. Nyx paused for a moment, seeming to consider something at his slip in her name, but said nothing of it, and turned to Zagreus instead.

“Thank you for everything you’d done for him. It’s more than any of us could have expected from you,” she said.

“Oh, no, please,” he shook his head, cheeks flaring with embarrassment. “I just did what was right.”

“Still,” she gave him a weak smile, then sighed, and made for the door, but paused once more before opening it.

“We should… speak more on this,” she said, looking back at Hypnos. “I feel there must be some changes I can make to… to help. In some way.”

Hypnos opened his mouth, but didn’t know how to answer, so he shut it again, and gave her a half-nod, half-shrug.

“Very well. We’ll speak soon, then,” she sighed, and finally left. Hypnos stared at the door for a moment, feeling his stomach tie into a knot at the thought of having to talk to her again, and in even more detail about everything, but then Zagreus cleared his throat, and he remembered there was a much more pressing issue at hand.

“So. Shall we… get started?” he said.

“Um, right,” Hypnos nodded, finally pushing the blankets aside to get up, but then Zagreus gasped quietly, and he froze, giving him a concerned look.

“I just remembered. I, um… after Than and I found you, he went to get Nyx and I was alone in here and… well, I hid your dolls so she wouldn’t see them. I didn’t have the foresight to think even  _ more _ people might come into your room, but it was lucky I did it anyways,” he chuckled for a moment, then gulped and pointed to the corner. “They’re there. Just so you know.”

“Oh. Um, thank you… wait, but that means you and Than both…?” Hypnos paled at the realization.

“Uh… yes? Look it’s… Hypnos. We were inside your mind. I don’t think there’s much room for embarrassment anymore,” Zagreus pointed out.

“But… still! I never meant for you two to see them,” Hypnos hid his face in his hands.

“I know. I’m sorry. But, if it makes you feel any better, I really don’t mind it, and I don’t think Than cares much either. About the dolls, I mean. It’s… I don’t know, it’s actually kind of sweet,” Zagreus shrugged, and when Hypnos peeked out at him from behind his hands, found his cheeks faintly pink and eyes gentle, almost loving. Hypnos felt a stir in his chest, the butterflies all too familiar, and took a deep breath. If Zagreus really knew everything, there was no point in hiding from him anymore. He could only hope he really meant it when he said he wanted to stick around and keep him company, and he certainly didn’t want to push him away again and risk losing him for good this time.

“That’s… well, just please don’t bring them up again. I’m embarrassed to even own them, really,” Hypnos said.

“Okay. I’ve forgotten all about it,” Zagreus said. “Now do you want to show me the ropes?”

“Yes, right,” Hypnos nodded, and finally stood up. “We’ll have that line back down in no time!”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before anyone says it -- yeah, Hypnos going right back to work is definitely not the best thing for him to be doing, but no one here really knows anything about how to help someone with depression, so Hypnos's healing might not... go well. At first.
> 
> Oof but also I finally plotted out what's going to happen for the rest of this fic on paper instead of just keeping it in my head and it looks like I'm actually going to 20 chapters! Oops, I wrote a short novel apparently!


	13. Chapter 13

Hypnos had never considered working with an assistant of sorts, his work didn’t exactly seem the kind that would get done faster with a second pair of hands, seeing as there was only one quill and parchment, but Zagreus proved himself surprisingly useful, mostly because, once Hypnos had shown him how to make the lists, check in the shades, and prioritize their requests, he basically insisted on doing it himself while Hypnos just watched to make sure he wasn’t making any mistakes. 

Nyx, meanwhile, had spoken to Hades and confirmed that he had not, in fact, even begun to look for a replacement for Hypnos and was more than willing to let him return to his post with no further consequences now that he was awake. It made Hypnos wonder if there wasn’t any truth to Thanatos’s assertion that he was easily replaceable, or if Hades just preferred him at that post for some reason  _ besides _ his lack of work-ethic. Either way, he accepted that result without question, not wanting to make anyone think he was expecting to—or even might have wanted to—lose his job. The only part Hades had any reservations about was the idea of Zagreus helping him out for the time being, which wasn’t much of a surprise given their particularly strained relationship at the moment, but once Nyx revealed that Zagreus was planning on halting his escape attempts in order to stick around and help Hypnos, he was suddenly extremely amenable to the idea.

Zagreus had rolled his eyes at that when Nyx told them, but didn’t say anything else about it. In fact, he worked diligently to clear the massive back-log of shades that needed to be checked in, despite the fact that he seemed to find the work difficult, always a little flustered to find the right line and check the correct box in a hurry. After having to correct him several times, Hypnos took to hovering just over his shoulder and pointing to the right place on the parchment when it seemed Zagreus couldn’t find it, and though it may have seemed a counterproductive system, the work got done twice as fast as if Hypnos had been doing it himself, mostly because the little spark of enjoyment he found in floating next to a flustered Zagreus and calmly guiding him through his confusion was just what he needed to keep him awake through the whole length of the line. 

At last, the backlog seemed to be cleared, only a few shades left in the hall and a slow trickle of new ones, so Zagreus relaxed and stopped making so many mistakes, leaving Hypnos with not much to do. He was feeling his eyelids grow heavy as he sunk into his blanket-cape held tight around him, when heard the familiar _ gong _ marking Thanatos’s arrival and blinked away his oncoming nap.

“Oh, wow. You two actually did it,” he said, looking around the near empty hall with astonishment. “I mean—of course you did! I wasn’t implying—”

“Oh, I think you were, actually,” Zagreus quipped, and Thanatos looked away, seemingly ashamed of himself.

“Sorry,” he whispered.

“Ha! No, Than, you were right to worry, honestly. I’m… not very good at this,” Zagreus chuckled to himself, and Thanatos looked back up, relieved but confused. “The only reason it went so smoothly is because Hypnos here is actually  _ very _ good at his job.”

Hypnos blushed, opened his mouth to retort, but found no words.

“Well. Since the line’s gone down, do you think you could take a break?” Thanatos asked. “I’m on mine now, so…”

“Oh! You mean me?” Hypnos pointed to himself, realizing it wasn’t Zagreus he was talking to.

“Yes, of course I mean you,” Thanatos chuckled.

“Um… well, I was actually gonna take a nap soon…” Hypnos mumbled.

“That’s alright. Let me walk you back to your room,” Thanatos offered, and Hypnos found himself staring at his brother in blatant confusion. He knew, theoretically, that he had promised to spend more time with him, but it was still completely jarring to hear his brother admit he actually  _ wanted _ to talk to him.

“I… okay,” he nodded. 

“I guess I’ll stay here for now,” Zagreus said. “I think I’ve got the hang of this?”

“You’re doing great, really,” Hypnos assured him, and then tried very, very hard to ignore the way his heart did a somersault in his chest when Zagreus smiled at his compliment.

“Ahem,” Thanatos cleared his throat, and they both looked up, surprised and a little embarrassed to have been staring at each other. “Shall we?”

“Yup! Okay, bye Zag,” Hypnos hurriedly floated away alongside his brother, neither of them speaking until Zagreus was out of earshot.

“I… take it you two have spoken?” Thanatos asked.

“Huh? Well… um… I mean, we  _ had _ to talk when I was showing him how to make the lists and all that,” Hypnos answered, confused.

“No, I mean—ugh, nevermind, I shouldn’t even be asking about this,” Thanatos looked away, and Hypnos felt his stomach drop.

“N-no, what do you mean? What would we have…  _ spoken _ about?” he asked, pace slowing as they approached the door to his room.

“I knew I shouldn’t have said anything,” Thanatos dragged a hand down over his face, sighed, and then reached for the door. “Here. Let’s go inside first.”

“Good idea,” Hypnos whispered, floating in past him as Thanatos held the door open. He closed it behind them, and then turned back to look at Hypnos with a guilty face.

“I… think I should be honest with you. It’s only fair that you know,” he said.

“Know what?” Hypnos asked hesitantly.

“While we were, uh, inside your mind, it became obvious that you… have feelings for Zagreus,” Thanatos forced out the words.

Hypnos sighed a heavy sigh, and then floated back until he was perched on the edge of his bed so he could rest his elbows on his knees and put his chin in his hands. He was silent for a moment then, biting his lip, until at last he looked up to see Thanatos, worried and waiting for some kind of answer.

“I figured as much. I just… thought if he wasn’t going to bring it up, I shouldn’t either. I wouldn’t want to risk…” he paused, feeling his throat constrict, and took a moment to collect himself. He didn’t particularly want to cry in front of Thanatos. “Well, anyways. Thanks for telling me, but, um. No. We haven’t spoken about it.”

“I see… well, actually, that’s probably to be expected,” Thanatos mumbled, and Hypnos picked his head up, brows folded in curiosity.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Well, Zagreus… actually, I don’t think I should be telling you this,” Thanatos realized aloud. 

“Did he tell how he feels about me?” Hypnos asked, the words tumbling out without a single thought to the consequences until it was too late.

“N—uh…” Thanatos clammed up, looking around the room nervously. “Not exactly? The thing is he… I don’t think he knows how he feels, either, so… your guess is as good as mine.”

“Oh,” Hypnos felt a strange mix of relief and disappointment wash over him that, after a moment, turned to a knot of worry in his stomach. He groaned and let his face fall into his hands. “Great. So now you two _ both _ know I like him, but I can’t even get a shred of clarity on his feelings? Is Aphrodite punishing me or something?”

“I’m sure she has nothing against you—”

“It was rhetorical,” Hypnos cut him off.

“Right. Obviously, I knew that…” Thanatos nodded, then trailed off, not sure what else to say.

“Well, if you’re done tormenting me about my probably-unrequited crush—” Hypnos started to say, but Thanatos shook his head, floating over to join him by the bed in a rush.

“No, no! I’m so sorry, I did not mean for our conversation to take such a..  _ lengthy _ detour,” he said. 

Hypnos looked up at him with a quirked brow, which was enough of a question on its own for him to continue.

“There was… something else I wanted to talk about. If that’s alright,” he said. “I mean, if you’d rather sleep, I can just go, but…”

“No, it’s okay. We can talk,” Hypnos shook his head. “I might fall asleep halfway through, but…” he shrugged, and then found himself smiling when Thanatos nodded as if he were being completely serious.

“Than. That was a joke,” he said.

“Oh! Of course, yes. Very funny,” Thanatos nodded, and Hypnos chuckled into his hand.

“You’re terrible at this,” he laughed.

“At least I’m trying,” Thanatos said, and Hypnos sighed, reaching out to pull him down so he was sitting on the bed next to him, but kept holding onto his arm and leaned into his side for support since he was, actually, very tired.

“Mm,” he nodded, then yawned before asking: “So what did you want to talk about?”

“Oh, um…” Thanatos shifted uncomfortably for a moment, but when Hypnos moved to untangle their arms, reached his other hand across to keep him there. “It’s about… well, what I mean is… you remember that I told you at the end, we had to walk through a storm of bad memories?”

“...yes,” Hypnos nodded, hesitant. He already didn’t like where this was going.

“And before that, we saw some good ones. Mostly from childhood?” Thanatos continued, and Hypnos nodded again, his cheek brushing his brother’s shoulder. “Well, seeing all that… it made me realize or, er, remember? That we… we used to get along. We were really close, back then, and I kind of… I ruined it, didn’t I?”

“Than...” Hypnos sighed. “Please don’t beat yourself up over this, okay?”

“But I’ve been horrible to you, and I want… Hypnos, I’d do anything to make it up to you—”

“Then don’t do this. Whatever _ this _ is, with the pity and the guilt… it just makes me feel worse,” Hypnos picked his head up and looked Thanatos in the eye as he said it, trying to stay firm despite the tears clouding his vision.

“Oh. I’m sorry. What should I—”

“I don’t know,” Hypnos shook his head. “I just… it’s  _ nice _ that everyone’s concerned now, don’t get me wrong, but it’s kind of a lot of pressure to suddenly be the center of attention, especially when most of that attention is just… pity.”

“It’s not just—”

“But that’s what it _ feels _ like,” Hypnos cut him off again, and Thanatos sighed and hung his head.

“Would you… prefer that we act like nothing happened?” he asked after a while.

“No,” Hypnos shook his head. “I’m sorry, I know this is confusing. I guess it’s just that, It was never my intention to… er, I mean… I didn’t want to make everyone worry  _ more _ . I know it sounds stupid in hindsight, but I felt like I was just a burden, and if I… went away, I would just be one less problem for everyone to worry about.”

“Hypnos, no,” Thanatos said, grief written all over his face as he reached out to place a hand on his brother’s arm.

“I know… but you have to understand I was… I still  _ am _ used to just pretending that everything’s okay because I don’t want to make trouble for the rest of you. And I was so used to thinking that way that… that I guess I imagined you all might not even notice if I was gone,” Hypnos said, and at last the tears building in his eyes streamed down his cheeks.

“Of course we noticed! Hypnos, I was… I was terrified I was going to lose you. We all were.” Thanatos reached his other arm around to hold Hypnos’s far shoulder, and pulled him close so he was leaning on him again.

“I’m sorry,” Hypnos cried against him.

“No, don’t apologize,” Thanatos shook his head. “It’s not your fault you felt that way.”

“Then you don’t apologize either,” Hypnos said, sniffling to fight back his tears. “Seeing you sit around feeling sorry for yourself just makes me feel worse.”

“Damnit,” Thanatos cured under his breath then, and from the way he tilted his head back, Hypnos guessed he was holding back tears of his own. “You forgive too easily, brother. It was easier to accept when I thought you hated me.”

“What do you mean? Why would I hate you?” Hypnos startled.

“Well, not you, really. The aspect, Anger, you remember?” Thanatos questioned.

“Oh. The one that fought you?” Hypnos chuckled a little at that.

“Yes. That was… honestly when it started to sink in, for real, that I’d caused you tremendous pain. He was so… well, angry. He wanted to kill me. And when I thought about the way I’d treated you, I realized it was probably justified. I wanted him to hurt me, because it felt like I deserved it,” Thanatos said, then gulped and shook his head. “Sorry, sorry. I know you don’t want to hear about my guilt.”

“Well. Some part of me  _ is _ angry with you, so… that makes sense. But you’re still my brother. And all I’ve ever wanted was for you to like me…” Hypnos admitted, letting his head fall back onto his brother’s chest. “But it always seemed like the last thing on your mind. You’re always busy working, and when you do talk to me, it’s only to tell me to do my job. You even seem to like Zagreus more than me.”

“That’s not—oh, Hypnos. No. You’re perfectly right to assume I didn’t care based on all that. What other impression  _ could  _ it have given you?” Thanatos sighed. “But I promise that’s not how I actually felt. I just assumed… I don’t know. I _ like _ being alone. I didn’t stop to think that you might want to see more of me.”

“Well. Now you know,” Hypnos whispered.

“Yes. That’s right. Enough about the past, things are going to be different from now on,” Thanatos said, wrapping both his arms around Hypnos’s back to hold him tight.

Hypnos sighed happily, closing his eyes and melting into his brother’s embrace. The two of them stayed that way for a while, silently holding each other to express without words the immense relief they felt at finally understanding each other again, finally being open with one another again. Hypnos felt, for the first time in a long time, cared for unconditionally, knowing that he no longer needed to  _ do _ anything to earn his brother’s favor, and the weight that took off his shoulders was immense.

“Thank you,” he said after a while, picking his head back up and blinking his eyes back open. “It’s… really hard to put my thoughts into words right now, but I’m glad we had this conversation anyways.”

“Me too,” Thanatos nodded. “I’m not exactly good at this either, but I’m going to do everything I can to be the brother you deserve now, okay?”

“Mm,” Hypnos nodded, and reached his arms around Thanatos’s back to give him one last tight squeeze of a hug. “Now, can I please have a nap?”

“Oh, yes, of course! So sorry,” Thanatos quickly disentangled himself and jumped up off the bed, “Enjoy your nap. You’ve earned it.”

“Thanks,” Hypnos chuckled, still astonished to be hearing such things come out of his brother’s mouth, but he certainly wasn’t going to complain. He rolled over onto bed, hearing the door shut behind him, and pulled up the blankets as he nestled his head against the pillows. Lethargy washed over him as soon as he closed his eyes, and as easy as ever, he drifted off for a quick nap.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I really love writing Thanatos being actually NICE to Hypnos, omg. I mean, he's not perfect, but he's trying so hard and he loves his brother so much and I just -- I don't know how to express the feels I have about Than being affectionate with Hypnos. There will definitely be more as we go on :)


	14. Chapter 14

Time seemed to go by both incredibly fast and yet intolerably slow, each waking moment filled with constant attention from those around him, his sleep deep and yet mostly dreamless, leaving him little time to actually stop and think about how he felt. This was sometimes nice—he didn’t cry himself to sleep anymore—but he wasn’t sure if that was because he was actually happy, or because he didn’t have enough time and space to let himself be sad. 

Still, he appreciated the sentiment of those around him, even if he sorely wished they didn’t all know what he’d done. His breaks with Thanatos were pleasant, the two brothers able to speak quite freely with each other and exchange affection more and more comfortably. That change, he knew, was certainly for the better. Zagreus was around all the time, since it seemed he had little else to do around the house than attend to Hypnos’s every need. He continued to assist him with his work, which continued to have the effect of giving Hypnos a reason to stay awake on the job, so even though he wasn’t exactly much help anymore (Hypnos insisted he take over the lists again as he grew frustrated with Zagreus’s lack of design sense) he had his use as an assistant in that way. As such, Hypnos had plenty of time to discover new strategies for expediting his work, and had even received a few compliments from the master of the house himself for the upward trend. Of all the people in the house, Lord Hades seemed the least concerned for Hypnos, in fact his attitude toward him changed very little besides the occasional complement to his work, and yet Hypnos found this something to be glad in, for there were often times he found the new pity, concern, guilt, or whatever it was of the others more of a burden to bear than any help at all.

His mother was probably the worst offender of this. He could tell she meant well, but every conversation with her felt simultaneously like walking over glass and like he  _ was  _ the glass and she was trying everything in her power not to break him. He hated that nearly everyone saw him that way, now: fragile. He supposed they simply found it difficult to understand, unsure even what to call what he had done, much less what to think of it. They were not unfamiliar with suicide, they’d seen every mortal successful of the task come through their domain, but the concept of a god attempting such a thing, even something adjacent to suicide, was unheard of, unthought of. And yet, that was what he had done, was it not? He had tried to bring his immortal life to and end by trapping himself eternally in sleep. But why had he done it, that was what they couldn’t fathom. Why? That was the question he saw in their eyes, but they all refused to ask. Perhaps some of them blamed themselves—he had a strong feeling his brother and mother both did, though the former was dealing with that guilt much better than the latter—perhaps others thought loneliness was the cause, and so made a point to speak to him more often, and perhaps others still couldn’t begin to imagine such pain, and thought it, and by extension Hypnos, an unsolvable mystery.

He couldn’t find it in himself to really be frustrated or angry with those people, though, especially not those who hadn’t been as close to him in the first place. Achilles, for example, had started making very awkward conversation with him whenever he saw him in the lounge, but he grinned and beared it, partially because he didn’t want to be rude, and partially because, as a mortal himself, he couldn’t help but wonder if Achilles was one of the few people in the house who could actually understand why he had done it.

Megaera had been just as awkward at first as well, talking to him in a way that was not at all like herself, but at least with her he felt their relationship was such that he could tell her flat-out that he didn’t want to be treated with kid-gloves. She seemed immensely relieved by this, and switched back to her usual self around him almost instantly. The only change that really stuck was that she now came to visit him and chat on a regular basis. He wondered if she was juggling more free time in her schedule as well because she didn’t have a daily appointment to kick Zagreus’s ass anymore (not that she’d been successful in that as of late, but it meant he didn’t see her come storming out of the Styx with ire in her eyes anymore, either.)

The most surprising thing to come out of all this, though, was definitely the sudden invitation his brother Charon extended to him. More out of curiosity than anything, he left the house to spend an hour or two with his older brother, anticipating that he would have to do most of the talking, only to find, beguilingly, an Olympian waiting to meet him as well, and to say Hermes could talk a mile a minute would be an understatement. It was a strangely pleasant visit, if rather unexpected, but neither of them made any reference to the recent events that had to doubt spurred on the occasion, nor treated him with any such guilty reservations as he was used to, and so he was, for a moment, able to forget his situation. 

They all had jobs to do, however, so the visit ended sooner than he would have liked, and he returned home somehow feeling even worse now that he had known a moment of escape. 

Life continued on in this way, too fast to think, too slow to enjoy, sleeping when he could and working longer hours than he was used to thanks to the way Zagreus’s constant presence kept his heart helplessly fluttering, until he found himself descending back into an all too familiar pit of despair, although this time there was the added terror of not even being able to pinpoint a reason why. It felt like the ground was opening up under him, pulling him back down into the same horrible, empty loneliness as before, no matter the fact that he  _ wasn’t _ lonely anymore. He was around people all the time, he had everything he was asking for— attention, love, respect for his work—and yet, ungrateful, useless creature that he was, he could still find no joy in it. 

Lying awake in his bed with wet eyes, too tired even to properly cry, he wondered if he was simply broken. Perhaps he’d lost the ability to feel happy. Perhaps he was doomed to eternal sadness, and fighting it was useless. But then what was he to do but live with it? Escaping had failed, and would no doubt fail again if he made another attempt. He felt utterly trapped, and the deeper he fell into his despair, the more terrified he was at the impossibility of being able to bring himself back.

“Hypnos?” Zagreus’s voice came just then, the door creaking open an inch. “Oh! You’re awake. Mind if I come in?”

“Sure,” Hypnos shrugged, rolling over to try and conceal his watery expression. He hardly tried to fight for privacy anymore, since everyone was all over him all the time anyways.

“Um… your shift started half an hour ago. Is everything, um… do you want to go to work?” Zagreus asked with increasing uncertainty. 

“...no,” Hypnos whispered.

“Well, okay. That’s fine. You haven’t missed a shift in ages, so I’m sure everyone will understand,” Zagreus said, his voice closer, clearly looming over the bed.

“Mmn,” Hypnos nodded, pulling the blankets up so they half-covered his face and laid perfectly still, waiting for Zagreus to go away. There was a long moment of silence then, so long he started to wonder if Zagreus had already left and he’d somehow not heard him do it, when at last a heavy sigh rattled from Zagreus’s chest and Hypnos felt the bed depress from him sitting on the edge of the mattress.

“Hypnos. You know you don’t have to pretend to be okay anymore, right?” he said, his voice soft, almost fragile, and it startled Hypnos so greatly he swore he felt an icy chill pulse through him for a moment.

“W-who says I’m pretending?” he stuttered out in reply.

“Oh. Um… sorry, I don’t mean to assume anything, it’s just—” Zagreus paused, collecting his thoughts. “Well, we spend a lot of time together now, so I can’t help but notice that sometimes it feels like you’re… forcing it, a little. That maybe you’re putting on a smile for the rest of us, because that’s what you’re used to doing. Is that—am I right at all?”

Hypnos gulped, clenching his fist in the sheets, and at last decided to let the floodgates open. Zagreus was right, and he didn’t want to pretend anymore; he wanted to let his hurt spill forth without a thought to the consequences.

“Completely,” he choked out the word, tears spilling from his eyes as soon as he started to speak. “I’m not… I’m so, so far from okay. I don’t know what’s wrong with me—I should… I should be happy. Everyone’s trying so hard and I’m just—Zag?” he flipped over then, searching for those red and green eyes through his teary gaze. “I think I’m broken.”

“No, what? No!” Zagreus shook his head, leaning closer with his brows furrowed in concern, but then he paused, and gulped, and continued more eloquently. “I mean… there’s nothing wrong with not feeling okay. What you’re feeling is real, and… and you should be able to express that. But those voices in your head, telling you that you’re broken or… or not enough?  _ That’s _ not true. There is nothing wrong with you. And yes, you feel this way right now, but you won’t feel this way forever.”

“But how do you know that?” Hypnos shook his head. “What if I… what if I  _ can’t _ feel happy anymore? I mean, no matter how much you all try, I still just… feel empty. How is it I still feel lonely, when I’m surrounded by people?”

“I… don’t know. I’m sorry,” Zagreus shook his head. “But I think—I really do believe—that you’re capable of getting better. Have you… have you felt happy at all since you woke up? Even once?”

“I—” Hypnos paused, blinking through tears, and took in a shuddering breath. “Yes, I suppose so. A few times, actually. But it never stays.”

“But you did feel it, right? So then I’m pretty sure you’re not broken. You can feel happy,” Zagreus pointed out.

“I guess,” Hypnos mumbled, looking away, and Zagreus sighed again.

“Sorry,” he whispered, then cleared his throat and spoke up. “I mean, I’m not trying to invalidate the way you feel. In fact, I think it’s much better to let yourself feel these things then ignore or hide it and just put on a smile for the rest of us. If you want a shoulder to cry on, I’m here.”

Hypnos looked up at him again, bit his lip, and then hesitantly sat up in front of him.

“You mean I can just… let it out?” he asked.

“Yes, please. I think it’ll feel good. Don’t you?” Zagreus opened his arms, and Hypnos already felt more tears welling up at the sight of it. 

“Zag…” he whimpered out his name as he let his head fall to his shoulder arms gripping tightly at the fabric on Zagreus’s back as he let his tears begin to fall once more. 

“There you go,” Zagreus whispered, gently resting one hand on Hypnos’s back as the other came to rest in his hair. Hypnos hiccuped then, his sobs growing more intense as he wondered what he had done to deserve this. How was Zagreus not appalled by him, he who was so weak and miserable that all he could do was cry and shake in his arms, words alluding him, even control over his own body seeming to fade as he wailed on and on like a child. He cried until his throat grew raspy, his head ached, and his cheeks grew sticky from tears. Finally, though, the font seemed to run dry, leaving him hiccuping and whimpering through the last few minutes of dry sobbing, until at last his breathing started to settle, and with it a calm washed over him: not so much a clarity of mind as a peaceful quiet he hadn’t felt in a while, no thoughts asserting his weakness, his brokenness. There was just… emptiness. Space for something else.

Zagreus was petting his hair, he realized. His chest was rising and falling in even breaths, perfectly patient as he let Hypnos take his time deciding when to be done. His grip on Zagreus’s back weakened then, but he stayed pressed against him a moment longer, not quite wanting it to end.

Eventually, though, he felt he wanted to talk to him again, recalling vaguely that he was making a good point that perhaps Hypnos just wasn’t ready to hear yet, and so pushed himself off and away, so he was just sitting cross-legged, in front of him on the bed.

“Thank you,” he said, but his voice came out crackled, so he gulped before trying again. “I actually feel a lot better.”

“Good,” Zagreus smiled, and reached out to wipe the tears from his cheeks. “I’m glad.”

“Mm,” Hypnos hummed, letting his face lean into the touch of Zagreus’s warm, wide palm, but then remembered a flicker of embarrassment and pulled away. “What was it you were saying, before?”

“Oh, um… hm. That you shouldn’t listen to thoughts that want you to believe you’re worthless?” Zagreus offered.

“Ah, right, that,” Hypnos chuckled. “Seems obvious, now. But… but I do give into those thoughts a lot, actually. That’s kind of the problem, isn’t it?”

“Well. Maybe you need a… a plan of attack. You know, something you can always fall back on, when you feel that way, to help remind yourself that you’re not… those things,” Zagreus shrugged. “And, I reckon it's better to try and think about that when you’re feeling good then wait until you’re upset again.”

“Fair enough,” Hypnos shrugged, but then frowned. “But what would I even do? It’s… a pretty all-consuming feeling.”

“Well. I know you didn’t particularly appreciate it, but if you feel _ broken _ again, like you can’t be happy, you could try remembering times you have been, just to disprove it,” Zagreus suggested.

“I guess so…” Hypnos looked away, and Zagreus was silent for a moment.

“Hypnos. Is there something else on your mind? It just… it feels like maybe there’s something in the way, here,” Zagreus said, then scratched behind his neck awkwardly as he added: “Or maybe I’m just crazy. That’s totally a possibility too.”

“No. You’re right,” Hypnos sighed out the words. He said he’d let it all out, didn’t he? “I think… I think I haven’t really had any time to process what happened. I still don’t even…” he trailed off, biting his lip.

“Don’t what?” Zagreus asked.

“Please don’t… take this the wrong way...” Hypnos’s voice got small, and for a moment he wondered if he could still back out before he had to say the next part, when at last the words tumbled from his lips. “I still don’t know that I  _ wanted _ to wake up at all.”

“Oh,” was all Zagreus could say.

“Ugh, and I know I should be thankful that you went through all that to bring me back, but what if I didn’t want to come back? It’s not like I had a choice,” Hypnos said, the words coming without him even thinking. “And I know you and Than said that I was the one who woke myself up in the end, but I don’t even remember that! And it's not like I could do it again, I know now it won’t work, so what choice do I have but to stay here? But do I want to be here? Is this better? I don’t know. I don’t know how I feel. I just work and sleep and talk to you and talk to Than and talk to mom and Meg or Charon, even, but what am I doing? Why am I—” he paused, taking a deep breath as he’d run on without breathing for a while. “What am I doing here?”

Zagreus nodded slowly, and when Hypnos looked at him he saw a real struggle to understand, a desire to comprehend, fully, what he had said. It struck him, then, that this was what it felt like to be _ listened  _ to.

“It sounds like you feel powerless? Or like your choices don’t matter? Am I hearing you right?” he asked eventually.

“Yeah. I… yeah,” Hypnos nodded, realizing along with him that that was the crux of his point.

“So then… you want to feel like you have more agency over your life?” Zagreus continued.

“I guess so… but how do I do that?” Hypnos shrugged.

“Hm,” Zagreus hummed, then smiled nervously. “Have you ever thought of taking up a hobby?”

“What?” Hypnos tilted his head, surprised at that suggestion.

“Well, I know it sounds silly, but maybe doing something that’s just for you and that doesn’t have to be done well or quickly like your job, could give you something… I don’t know, something to be proud of for yourself? And it’d be something that you chose to do because you wanted to, not to please other people,” Zagreus said.

“But what would I even do?” Hypnos questioned, though he could feel already a percolation of something like hope or excitement in his heart at the idea.

“I don’t know. What do you like doing?” Zagreus shrugged.

“Sleeping,” Hypnos said, and they both chuckled a little at the idea, but then he sighed and looked away, genuinely deep in thought at the question. What did he used to do for fun, before he started feeling so miserable all the time that all he wanted to do was sleep?

“Oh. I… I used to like to draw,” he said, remembering how much he used to doodle in the margins of his lists, and even sketch in notebooks in his room.

“Yeah?” Zagreus smiled. “Why’d you stop?”

“Um… well, nobody wanted to see them. Thanatos said my doodles were… unprofessional. And then I just kind of… lost all self-esteem for it. I mean, I was never that good to begin with, but, you know, a compliment or two would have helped,” he shrugged.

“Oh Than,” Zagreus sighed into his hand, then looked back up and smiled again. “Well.  _ I  _ would love to see your artwork. If you want to start again, that is.”

“Really?” Hypnos perked up, but then felt embarrassed at the thought and sunk back down. “I… I don’t know. Maybe. I’ll think about it.”

“Well, that’s a start,” Zagreus nodded. “Oh! What about your dolls? Didn’t you make those? They’re actually quite impressive.”

“Th-th-the dolls?” Hypnos’s face lit up red at the suggestion of them.

“Yeah! Where are they, anyways? Don’t you usually sleep with them?” Zagreus looked around, searching.

“I… I put them away,” Hypnos admitted.

“Aww,” Zagreus looked disappointed at that, and Hypnos felt his cheeks grow impossibly warmed.

“Wh-what?” he stammered, feeling accused. “It’s embarrassing! Especially with you and Than in here all the time.”

“But we already know about them anyways,” Zagreus shrugged, and then smirked. “And besides… I think it’s kind of cute.”

“Well, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Believe me, it’s better I don’t… do that anymore,” Hypnos mumbled out.

“Do what?” Zagreus asked, and Hypnos nearly choked on the air when he realized his mistake.

“N… nothing!” he yelped.

“Oh,” Zagreus’s eyes widened, seeming to get an idea of his own, only for his brow to furrow in deep confusion. “Wait… what?”

“What are you—no, no, stop it. Whatever you’re thinking, stop it,” Hypnos frantically shook his head, realizing his imagination would probably only lead him to worse places. “I would, ugh!” he sighed, hiding his head in his hands. “I would talk to them! And then… talk back in your voices! It made me feel less lonely…”

“Oh,” Zagreus said again, quieter this time.

“I know, it’s weird and sad,” Hypnos shook his head in his hands. “Can we please stop talking about it now?”

“Of course,” Zagreus answered rather quickly. “Oh, but, um, what I meant was, when I brought them up, that you seem to be quite good at making them. Do you enjoy… fabric crafts?”

“Huh?” Hypnos looked up, then remembered the original point of all this. “Oh, um… yes, I suppose so. But there’s no need for me to make  _ more _ .”

“Well, it’s just something to think about. Maybe you can find a different outlet for that skill?” Zagreus shrugged.

“Maybe,” Hypnos sighed, then shook his head. “Okay, okay. You’ve given me a lot to think about. I just don’t think I can make up my mind right now.”

“I understand,” Zagreus nodded and stood up. “Do you want to be alone?”

“Er… not really,” Hypnos shook his head, then gasped. “Wait! Aren’t I supposed to be working right now?”

“Uh… technically yes, but like I said, I don’t think anyone would mind if you took a break,” Zagreus answered.

“I appreciate the generosity, but I’ve  _ already _ taken a long break,” Hypnos rolled his eyes, though he was smiling as he got up. “I want to get back to work.”

“Then back to work we’ll go,” Zagreus extended his hand, and Hypnos happily took it.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up a lot longer than usual, but I didn't want to cut any of it and there wasn't a great place to divide it in half, so I just decided to leave it. 
> 
> Also, just a friendly reminder that I'm not a therapist and you probably shouldn't take advice about mental health from fan fiction. Because we're now in the part of the fic where I actually have to describe how Hypnos starts to get better, Idk, it just feels worth putting in the notes that, like, this is just some fiction I'm writing for fun and not actual advice about mental health. Cool? Cool.


	15. Chapter 15

Zagreus was right, as it turned out, in a number of ways. 

Hypnos started to draw again, albeit slowly at first. The first time he couldn’t think of anything to draw, and the second time it turned out wrong and he crumpled the paper in frustration, but he persisted, and the third time he managed to make some pleasing doodles of poppies and pomegranates. After that, it became habitual: whenever he was alone and not so tired that he just wanted to sleep, he sat down at the small desk in his room that used to be covered with clutter but now housed a neat stack of paper, several notebooks, and copious quills, and drew whatever his imagination could conjure. It didn’t always turn out good, but often it did, and he saved the drawings to look back on with pride, something he made by himself, for himself.

He even started to draw up a design for another doll—or rather a stuffed animal this time—though he wasn’t sure yet he really wanted to commit to making it. 

Either way, the idea of taking up a hobby had been a good one, and he perhaps thanked Zagreus for the thought by drawing him particularly often, though those drawings were usually hidden at the bottom of the stack.

He was also right that things did seem to be getting better. Which actually made quite a bit of sense, because after one’s lowest low, there was nowhere to go but up. 

And, more than anything, he was right that Hypnos needed to stop listening to the cruel thoughts his own head conjured, to remind himself they weren’t true. He’d come up with a few tactics, which worked often but not always, some he’d made on his own and others Zagreus suggested as they continued to discuss it.

That was helping trendoudly too: Zagreus was always there if he wanted to cry again, or talk about why he wanted to cry, or both.

One of his tactics was of course to try to remember when he was happy in the past, to prove that the sadness he was feeling was only temporary. He was also growing partial to reminding himself that he wasn’t useless or talentless or lazy by recalling his drawings, as well as the improving state of his work, which Hades continued to give subtle compliments to. If all else failed, though, sometimes he had to stop and ask if what he was thinking was something someone had said about him before—usually Thanatos or his mother—and tell himself that what they thought wasn’t necessarily true, and that, in fact, they might not even believe it themselves, so why should he?

There were ups and downs, of course, but when he paused to reflect, he found that he was on a general upward trend, and that alone was often enough to give him hope.

—

“Oh, wow. Hypnos, this is beautiful,” Zagreus said, holding up a parchment on which Hypnos had done a particularly detailed drawing of a poppy bouquet, using black ink to line in the carefully studied folds and creases of the petals, a little red ink wash employed to give it color, which he didn’t usually do, but turned out quite well in this case.

“Haha, thanks! I spent a lot of time on that one,” Hypnos giggled. 

“Can I… I mean, no, you must want to keep this, right?” Zagreus questioned.

“I have plenty of other drawings, so if… if you want it…” he stuttered out an answer.

“Really, can I?” Zagreus lit up at that, and Hypnos nodded his assent, watching with warm cheeks as Zagreus smiled even wider. “Thank you! I’ll hang it on my wall, in my room. It should fit it nicely next to my posters, I think.”

“Oh, gosh. You don’t have to do that,” Hypnos shook his head, his mind spinning at the idea that something he made would be hanging on Zagreus’s bedroom wall.

“But, I want to,” Zagreus shrugged. “I mean, as long as it’s okay with you?”

“I—well—no—of course! It’s just… don’t know what you’d want to...” Hypnos stuttered the words out, his face completely flushed and hands toying together nervously.

“Because it's a beautiful piece of art, and, better yet, you made it?” Zagreus answered, a sly smile spreading across his face as he said it, as if he knew the very effect it would have on Hypnos.

“Stop! It’s too much!” Hypnos covered his face with his hands and shook his head. “You’re too nice!”

Zagreus laughed at that, and the sound was so wholesome and beautiful that Hypnos couldn’t help letting his hands slip down so he could peek past them and catch a glimpse of his face, smiling so wide his eyes pressed shut. Hypnos gulped, his heart fluttering in his chest at the sight of it.

“You’re too hard on yourself,” Zagreus said when he was done chuckling, and reached out to put a hand on one of Hypnos’s shoulders. “Really, Hypnos. You’re a wonderful artist. I’m so glad you took up drawing again.”

“I, um… thanks,” Hypnos did his best to take the compliment better that time, but when he trailed off, the two of them were left in an awkward silence, Zagreus’s hand still on him so their faces were only about a foot apart. At the same time, they both glanced up and met one another’s eyes, and instantly Hypnos felt a rush of something through him—anticipation? fear? desire?—but all too soon Zagreus broke his gaze, giving his shoulder a friendly squeeze before he backed away.

“Well, thanks again for this lovely painting, mate! I’ll go hang it up right now, actually. I’m sure you were looking to get a nap in on your break,” he said, already heading for the door.

“Um. Yeah. E-enjoy,” Hypnos said, though he cringed at the wording. Enjoy? Enjoy the painting? Zagreus left before there was any time to question or correct the comment, but he was left feeling flustered and scrambled, and a little disappointed.

He shook his head, trying not to ruin for himself what had otherwise been a good day, and got into bed.

—

“Well, that should do it for now,” Hypnos said, rolling up his parchment and putting away his quill. “It’s time for a break.” He stretched his arms over his head, then rolled his shoulders back and yawned.

“I’m guessing you’ll want to sleep?” Zagreus chuckled behind him, and Hypnos was about to turn to respond in the affirmative, when he heard a familiar  _ gong _ announcing his brother’s arrival.

“Than!” he whipped around excitedly, holding his arms out towards him, and Thanatos smiled ever-so-slightly as returned his brother’s embrace.

“Hello, Hypnos,” he said. “I believe we’re both on break?”

“Mm-hm!” Hypnos nodded. “Do you want to hang out in my room?”

“That was the idea, yes,” Thanatos nodded.

“Great! Bye Zag!” Hypnos gave him a little wave before, thanks to one arm still around his brother’s shoulders, Thanatos teleported them both into Hypnos’s room.

“Than... you didn’t give him time to say bye back,” Hypnos pouted as soon as he realized what happened.

“Oh. Sorry. Do you want to go back?” Thanatos asked.

“No,” Hypnos said. “I’m just saying. You could learn to be a little more courteous about teleporting away—you almost always do it before the conversation is over.”

“Do I?” Thanatos raised a brow, and Hypnos chuckled at the complete naiveté of the reaction.

“Yes, you do,” Hypnos nodded, then shook his head. “But enough of that. How are you? Work going well?” he asked, settling on the bed and resting his elbows on his knees so his chin could fall into cupped palms.

“Mm, I’m quite well, actually. And work is busy as usual, but such is the nature of death,” he shrugged. “What about you?”

“I’ve… been good. Like,  _ actually  _ good for the most part. It’s… nice,” he smiled bittersweetly to himself, then looked back up at his brother. “Thanks for asking.”

“Well, that’s the whole point of this, right? To talk to each other?” Thanatos asked.

“Than… you make it sound like some kind of chore,” Hypnos giggled.

“Oh. Sorry,” Thanatos blushed guiltily at that, and Hypnos shook his head, still laughing.

“I’m just kidding,” he said, and then reached out a hand towards him, making a grabbing motion towards Thanatos’s own hand. “C’mere.”

Thanatos silently obliged, taking Hypnos’s hand in his own, and sitting down on the edge of the bed next to him, resting their held hands on his thigh. Hypnos hummed, pleased, and scooched closer so he could rest his head on Thanatos’s shoulder, and let his eyes flutter shut.

“You know, I’m really glad that one aspect asked you to start hugging me, because this is… really nice. But I don’t think I’d have—I don’t know—been confident enough to ask you in real life?” Hypnos said, just letting his thoughts freely spill, as he often did around his brother these days.

“Yes, it’s a good thing he did. Because I certainly wouldn’t have thought to do it either,” Thanatos agreed.

“What, you don’t like it?” Hypnos lifted his head, sensing some annoyance in his brother’s tone.

“No, no. I just meant… I’d be the same. Not confident enough to… suggest this,” Thanatos forced the words out, and Hypnos chuckled at his brother’s embarrassment.

“Mm, I see,” he nodded, and let his head fall back into place against him. “Sorry if I seem clingy now, though. I just… there’s no one else I can really do this with.”

“Not even Zagreus?” Thanatos asked.

“Zag? Oh, gosh, no. I get butterflies just from a pat on the shoulder; I’d probably  _ die _ if he hugged me,” Hypnos said, then picked up his head again and worried his lip. “Well. Actually, there was that one time he hugged me while I cried but… but that was an exception!”

Thanatos raised a brow at that answer, seeming somewhere between confused and concerned, before he finally asked: “So… I take it you two are  _ not _ together, then?”

“No? Why would we be?” Hypnos asked, though he knew the obvious answer, and so averted his eyes, staring down into his lap and pouting.

“Sorry. I just thought… you two spend almost all your time together, and I know he was unsure before, but he seems interested now—at least he seemed that way to me—and I know he knows how you feel, so I don’t know why he wouldn’t—”

“Unless you’re wrong. And he doesn’t like me that way,” Hypnos interrupted. “B-b-but that’s fine! I like being friends, too. He’s been a… a really good friend to me. I should be happy with just that, right?”

“Well, either way, you deserve to at least know how he feels. He hasn’t said anything at all?” Thanatos questioned.

Hypnos shook his head.

“Has he even acknowledged your feelings for him?” he asked next.

“No…” Hypnos whispered.

“Tch,” Thanatos clicked his tongue. “That coward. What is he waiting for?”

“Maybe he just… wants to spare my feelings?” Hypnos tried to defend him.

“But he knows that not knowing how he feels about you has… has caused you _ pain _ . He should know better than to be keeping you in that limbo for longer than necessary,” Thanatos huffed, and Hypnos gulped, realizing with a wave of utter disbelief that this was almost exactly like one of the scenarios he’d played out with his dolls: Thanatos being protective of him and getting angry at Zagreus for playing with his feelings. He blinked a few times, letting it sink in that this was real, as surreal as it felt, and then smiled, and pressed his cheek into his brother’s shoulder.

“Well… just don’t go scaring him off. I don’t need to see his name on my ledger with my own brother as a cause of death,  _ again _ ,” Hypnos chuckled.

“What? I’ve never killed him,” Thanatos shook his head.

“No, not you. Charon has though,” Hypnos clarified. “Back when he was, you know, trying to escape?”

“I see. Well, he probably deserved it then. Charon isn’t one for unprompted violence,” Thanatos said.

“Mm-hm. I’m pretty sure he tried to, uh,  _ borrow _ some of Charon’s gold and got the oar for it,” Hypnos joked.

“Oh, Zag,” Thanatos sighed into his hand. “I knew he was stupid, but I never thought he was  _ that _ stupid.”

Hypnos laughed at that, then sighed shut his eyes, losing the fight against his exhaustion. 

“I kinda miss getting to make fun of all the dumb ways he died,” he mumbled.

“Of course you do,” Thanatos chuckled at that, then went silent, probably looking down at Hypnos as he started to fall asleep against him.

“Are you… asleep?” he whispered out the question a moment later, and Hypnos nodded his head blearily, even though clearly he wasn’t since he could actually answer. Thatantos huffed out a laugh at that, but said nothing more, and reached an arm under Hypnos’s legs, keeping one at his back to gently pick him up. He laid him down properly in his bed and pulled the blankets up to tuck him in. Hypnos smiled softly at the gesture, but kept his eyes closed, sleep quickly pulling him under. The last thing he felt before he drifted off was a hand in his hair, gently petting his head, and he was filled with a wonderful sense of warmth and safety that followed him into his dreams.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow fluff? in this fic?? its more likely than you think. 
> 
> I say that, but then also there's still a lot of unresolved angst that is... going to go on painfully long. I'm going to make these poor boys be idiots about their feelings for way longer than necessary because apparently I like pain lol


	16. Chapter 16

“Great work today, mate. Have a nice nap!” Zagreus waved goodbye to a very tired Hypnos as he closed the door to his room, and then sighed, standing idly in the hall. Things had changed a lot for him since the whole trouble with  _ eternal sleep _ . He now spent his days almost constantly at Hypnos’s side, never once having left the house, much less ransacked his way through his father’s domain trying to get to the surface. That was a major change, for sure, but there were subtler ways he had changed: a shift in his priorities, a growth of new feelings, or perhaps an uncovering of feelings that were always there.

Hypnos had consumed him completely. He was all he thought of, all he seemed to care about anymore. Thoughts of reaching the surface, of finding his mother, were but a distant dream he’d get to _ one day _ , but right now the only thing he wanted to expend his energy doing was trying to make Hypnos smile. And what a gorgeous smile it was. He’d found himself staring more, noticing more and more the man’s adorable dimples, wanting to touch his curly hair and see if it was as soft as it looked, hearing music sweeter than any instrument in the cadence of his voice. 

It was impossible to ignore: he was in love.

And yet, he felt he  _ had _ to ignore it, at least for the time being. Hypnos was still healing, still trying to find the strength to express himself and the will to push through his darker feelings and find real ways of making himself happy, rather than force a smile to his face. He was trying to stay on top of things with his job, too, and doing a fair share of work trying to repair his relationships with his brother and mother. He simply had too much on his plate, and Zagreus was afraid that a new relationship would only be another stumbling black, another source of undue stress, not worth whatever momentary comforts it might provide. As his friend, there was no discomfort, no misunderstanding, no push and pull. He could simply be there when he needed him, and just as easily give him space when he did not. It was not as if he would hide his feelings from Hypnos forever, now just didn’t seem the right time. 

He was so lost in such thoughts as he wandered into the lounge, that he didn’t see he had walked past two of his friends until one cleared her throat and reached out to grab his shoulder, spinning him back around to face her.

“You’re really just going to walk past us without so much as a hello?” Megaera said, and Zagreus gulped, seeing Thanatos at the table with her, arms crossed and no more impressed.

“O-oh! My apologies. I was… lost in thought,” Zagreus stammered, offering a nervous smile.

“Oh, so there are thoughts rattling around in that head of yours,” Megaera teased, releasing his shoulder only to flick him on the temple.

“Oh come on, Meg,” he rolled his eyes, but joined them at the table nonetheless.

“How is Hypnos?” Thanatos asked then.

“Yes, how  _ is _ Hypnos, hmm?” Megaera joined in, asking the question far more pointedly as a smirk spread across her lips.

“I—what?” he blushed at her tone, but then shook his head and tried to answer Thanatos’s genuine inquiry. “He’s fine. He should be sleeping now, I think.”

“I see,” Thanatos nodded, but Megaera chuckled and crossed her arms.

“I’m surprised you’re not sleeping _ with _ him,” she said.

“Excuse me?” Zagreus choked the words out, his face turning entirely red.

“You never seem to leave him alone these days,” Megaera clarified, though from the way she was grinning Zagreus could tell her suspicions extended far beyond just that.

“I… look. It’s not like that, okay? I’m just trying to be there for him, as a friend,” Zagreus said, though the words almost felt wrong as he spoke them. It  _ was _ like that, just not exactly how she was imagining.

“Really? There’s nothing going on between you two?” Megaera insisted.

“No, nothing,” Zagreus shook his head, and quickly shot a pleading glare to Thanatos for support, but he remained strangely silent and, though it was hard to tell since he was usually always frowning anyways, he even looked a little angry.

“Well, then you might be sending the wrong message,” Megaera shook her head. “Everyone can see the way you coddle him, Zagreus. It’s almost painful to watch.”

“C-coddle him?” Zagreus stuttered, looking to Thanatos once again. “I-I don’t  _ coddle _ him, do I?”

“Zagreus,” Thanatos sighed, and Zagrues felt the blood drain from his face; he  _ was _ angry with him. “Surely you’ve had enough time to figure out your feelings? All this denial doesn’t help anyone.”

“Oh, the plot thickens,” Megaera’s smile widened, looking between the two of them with anticipation.

“I… of course I have,” Zagreus forced himself to answer, his eyes lowered and heart beating loudly in his chest. “I just… don’t think now is the right time.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Thanatos sighed into his hand. “He thinks you’re avoiding talking about it because you  _ don’t  _ like him. He’s good at hiding it, but I can see how it’s tearing him up inside… which is why it’s surprising that  _ you  _ don’t.”

“I—” Zagreus opened his mouth to defend himself, but found no words. Instead, he stared down into his lap and chewed his lower lip, wondering why he was still so nervous to tell Hypnos how he felt despite knowing his feelings were reciprocated.

“Blood and darkness, Zag. Don’t tell me you actually don’t like him?” Thanatos said then, and Zagreus’s head snapped back up, realizing his hesitance was giving the complete wrong idea.

“No! No. Of course I…” he paused, gulping. He’d never said it out loud before. “I like him so much, it’s unbearable sometimes. I can hardly think of anything else.”

“Then why haven’t you told him? You know he feels the same,” Thanatos questioned.

“I don’t know…” Zagreus whispered, his voice small.

“Well that’s just absurd,” Megaera said, and Zagreus looked up at her, having nearly forgotten she was there, listening the whole time. “ _You’re_ the only thing getting in your way. If you know he feels the same way, there should be nothing stopping you from being together.’

“It’s… it’s not that simple,” Zagreus said.

“Isn’t it?” Megaera raised a brow. “Or are you just being a coward?”

“Not to mention, cruel, keeping him waiting,” Thanatos piled on, and Zagreus was left defenseless, his mouth hanging open with nothing to say.

He snapped his mouth shut then, crossed his arms and stood up.

“Fine! Fine. I’ll… go tell him right now. Who’s the coward now?” he said.

“Um… I’m pretty sure it’s still you,” Megaera answered.

“Shut up,” Zagreus flushed and stomped out of the room, leaving a chorus of chuckles behind him.

—

Zagreus took a deep breath, settling the swirling in his stomach as best he could, and then knocked on the door.

“Hypnos?” he asked, and was certain there would be no response, since he was surely asleep, but was surprised to hear a yelp followed by some rustling before Hypnos answered.

“Y-yes?” he said.

“Is everything all right in there?” Zagreus furrowed his brow. “Can I come in?”

“Y-yeah! Everything’s fine!” Hypnos said. “Come on in!”

Permission granted, Zagreus opened the door and took a cautious look inside, though whatever Hypnos was embarrassed about must have been put away, since everything looked the same as any other time he’d been in his room. The only odd thing, he supposed, was that Hypnos was just sort of floating in the middle of the room, hands clasped and looking at Zagreus expectantly, which only made him more suspicious that he was hiding something.

“I thought you were taking a nap?” Zagreus asked, tucking the door shut behind himself.

“I was going to,” Hypnos agreed. “But then I got distracted.”

“Distracted by what?” Zagreus asked, stepping closer.

“N-nothing important!” Hypnos shook his head, waving his arms in front of his face until suddenly he stopped, pouted, and put his hands on his hips. “Hey, wait a second. Why are you here anyway if you thought I was asleep?”

“Oh—uh…” It was Zagreus’s turn to blush and stammer.

“You don’t come in here and watch me sleep, do you?” Hypnos accused when he failed to answer.

“What? No! Of course not,” Zagreus shook his head. “I just… wanted to talk to you.”

“You talk to me all the time,” Hypnos chuckled, crossing his arms. 

“I… I know. But this is important,” Zagreus said, and Hypnos’s smile immediately faded.

“Um, actually, I’ve been meaning to talk to you, too,” he said.

“Oh?” Zagreus titled his head.

“You can go first, though,” Hypnos averted his eyes and waved his hand, but Zagreus shook his head.

“No, please, go ahead,” he said, trying to convince himself he was just being polite and not trying to avoid his own confession. “What is it, Hypnos?”

“Um… well…” he gulped, gathering the courage to continue. “I was just wondering… when do you plan on resuming your escape?” 

“Oh, uh… I honestly hadn’t thought about that at all,” Zagreus admitted, rubbing a hand awkwardly behind his neck as he considered it, but then a nervous smile wormed its way onto his lips, and he reached out to take one of Hypnos’s hands in a gentle hold. “I guess I just have more reason to stay than before.”

Hypnos’s eyes widened, face at first going pale before his cheeks turned pink, but then his lips curled down into a frown and he pulled his hand out of Zagreus’s grasp and held it to his chest protectively.

“Zag, I… I don’t want you to just stay for _ me _ ,” he whispered.

“What?” Zagreus asked, and it felt as if his heart had dropped into his stomach.

Hypnos gulped, taking a moment to gather his thoughts before he let out a shaky breath and tried to explain himself.

“I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me. I do. But it’s not fair for you to just… sacrifice everything you want for the sake of my happiness,” he said, and then met Zagreus’s gaze as he continued more confidently. “I want you to be happy too, Zag. I already made my peace with you leaving the first time you left, because I know why you need to do this. You’re not happy here, and… and I know you really want to find her. Your mother, I mean.”

Zagreus bit his lip and looked down at the ground. He wasn’t wrong; he still really wanted to make it to the surface and find his mother. But now that there was something else keeping him here, the choice seemed impossible. How could he just leave Hypnos? But how, also, could he just give up on all his ambitions?

“You’re right. This isn’t fair,” he hissed out the words, and wiped furiously at his eyes to clear the tears that had started to gather so he could look back up at Hypnos with a steady gaze. “But… what if I’d rather choose to stay with you?”

“Is that really what you want, or is that just the easier option?” Hypnos questioned.

“Hypnos—”

“No, stop. I mean it, I’m okay with you going. I want you to,” Hypnos cut him off.

“But Hypnos I—”

“Please, I don’t want to keep you here,” Hypnos practically begged, and it was as if all the words were strangled right out of Zagreus’s throat. He couldn’t argue with him. Even if he didn’t understand, even if he was almost certain he wasn’t being honest with himself, he found himself folding to Hyonos’s request, the fight entirely drained from him. 

He’d do anything Hypnos asked of him, even if it was the very thing that kept them apart.

“Okay,” he said. “You’re right. I do still want to find my mother. I’m just… scared. Of leaving, now.”

Hypnos floated forward then and wrapped his arms around Zagreus’s back, holding him in a comforting embrace. Zagreus instantly returned it, holding Hypnos close and shutting his eyes so his head could sink into the comfort of the blanket wrapped around Hypnos’s shoulders. 

“Well. You won’t leave right away. At the rate you were going before, it’ll still be a while before you actually make it out of here,” Hypnos said as he pulled away, and Zagreus found himself chuckling.

“Not to mention how rusty I’ll be… Meg is going to _ destroy  _ me,” he joked.

“And I look forward to making fun of you afterwards,” Hypnos joined in, punctuating it by tapping the tip of Zagreus’s nose with one finger. Zagreus wrinkled his nose in response, and the funny look made Hypnos laugh hard enough for his shoulders to squeeze up and eyes crinkled shut, and the image of it Zagreus a little more comfortable with what he’d just agreed to. 

He’d do anything to make Hypnos smile.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, Zag, that didn't go as planned...
> 
> Also just for clarification's sake, this is taking place before Zag has ever made it to the surface, so he doesn't know yet that he can't actually stay up there, and his escape plan is still to leave permanently, or at least for the foreseeable future, so as far as they know, him escaping would be the end of their relationship. And yes they're being very stupid and should just be honest about how they feel and what they want, but... I live for the angst, so of course we can't just have good communication.


	17. Chapter 17

“What is Zagreus doing?” were the first words out of Thanatos’s mouth as he teleported into the hall, right in front of Hypnos where he was busy keeping an orderly line of shades. 

“Hm?” he looked up from his parchment, feigning ignorance.

“Please tell me you know why that  _ idiot _ is thrashing his way through Tartarus as we speak?” Thanatos tried again, and Hypnos giggled, taking pity on him.

“Because we agreed he doesn’t need to be around all the time anymore. I’m clearly doing just fine on my own. What’s the problem?” Hypnos asked, gesturing to the evidence of his productivity.

“The problem is that  _ that _ is not what I sent him in there to talk to you about,” Thanatos sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Oh? He didn’t tell me he had a message to deliver,” Hypnos cocked his head to the side curiously.

“No, no. Not a message, a—” Thanatos paused, then groaned, frustrated. “He was  _ supposed _ to tell you how he feels.”

“Ah, well… he basically did that, too,” Hypnos nodded, remembering with a faint flush the way he’d talked about  _ choosing _ him. All things considered, he was pretty sure they had something of an unspoken agreement about their mutual liking of one another, and that agreement was to keep those feelings unspoken lest they make their eventual separation any more difficult. “So don’t worry about it, really! If you want to be mad at him for trying to leave, go ahead, but don’t bring me into it, because I completely support his ambitions.”

“But… what? Why?” Thanatos shook his head, not understanding.”

“Because that's what you do when you love someone. You want them to be happy, no matter what,” Hypnos said, his voice coming out softer than he had meant it to, and yet somehow it sounded fitting, and he smiled at his brother, hoping he heard the unintended double meaning in it.

Thanatos opened his mouth, said nothing for a moment, and then sighed, rubbed his temples, and started again.

“As long as it’s what you want, I… I guess I can’t complain,” he grumbled, and a wide smile wormed its way onto Hypnos’s face.

“Wow! I never thought I’d hear you say that,” he chuckled.

“Whatever. I need to get back to work,” Thanatos blushed and crossed his arms, but didn’t leave right away.

“Aw, now that’s more like the Than I know,” Hypnos said, but there was no time for Thanatos to respond, because just then they heard a familiar _ splash _ as Zagreus came swimming up out of the Styx.

“Well, well, well,” Hypnos smirked, looking down at the cause of death on his ledger as Zagreus walked over, a hand in his hair to brush the blood out of it. “You were right, Zag! Looks like Megaera got you after all!”

“Aha, yeah. She was… less than pleased to see me,” he chuckled. “Any advice for next time?”

“Hmm… you could try  _ not  _ getting hit by her attacks?” Hypnos offered.

“Thanks, I hadn’t thought of that!” Zagreus joked, and they both finally broke out into laughter.

“Gosh. It’s good to be back to the old routine, huh?” Hypnos said between giggles.

“It sure is, mate,” Zagreus smiled at him, and then finally seemed to notice Thanatos despite the fact that he’d been standing there the whole time. “Oh, uh, do you need something?”

Thanatos regarded him coldly, looking him up and down with an unimpressed glare, but then sighed.

“No. It seems everything is in order,” he said, and then teleported away before Zagreus could respond.

“Huh. Is he…?” Zagreus started to ask, and Hypnos shrugged.

“He doesn’t really get why I’m okay with you trying to leave again,” he admitted. “But, you know how he is. I’m sure he’ll come around eventually.”

“Mm. I’m sure he’s just trying to look out for you,” Zagreus agreed. “Well, you let me know when you can take a break—I’m not leaving again without getting to hang out with you at least for a little bit.”

“Oh, okay. Is that how it is?” Hypnos asked.

“That’s exactly how it is,” Zagreus nodded, then gestured to the line of shades as he added: “Now, if you’ll excuse me, you look busy.”

Hypnos chuckled, and watched him walk away with a bittersweet smile on his face before getting back to work. 

—

“I hear Zagreus has returned to his attention to escaping.” Nyx was the next one to approach Hypnos on the subject, though Zagreus had already been through four attempts (only getting past Megaera again on his third, much to his chagrin). 

“He sure has!” Hypnos nodded. “That doesn’t bother you, does it? I thought you were supportive of it from the beginning?”

“And I am still,” she nodded. “What I wanted to know was how this development has affected you.”

“Affected me?” Hypnos chuckled. “I’m the one who told him to quit lounging around the house and get back to it!”

“Oh,” Nyx’s eyes widened, as if she had not even considered such a thing a possibility. The idea soon settled with her though, and she smiled slightly. “I see my concerns were unfounded, then.”

“Well, I appreciate the thought nonetheless,” Hypnos said, and suddenly Nyx’s expression turned thoughtful.

“You have matured much, my son. I am sure you need no repetition of my compliments for your work as of late, but on this, too, I am proud,” she said.

“P-proud? Of me? For what?” Hypnos stuttered, not quite following her.

“For proving to be more… independent than I had thought,” she clarified, then looked away before adding: “I was afraid you were becoming somewhat more…  _ reliant _ on Zagreus than would be appropriate.”

“Oh, no, no, of course not. I’d never want to hold him back. Remember, I’ve been just as supportive of him as you since he first decided to leave,” Hypnos pointed out.

“That is true,” Nyx nodded, then frowned, and Hypnos felt himself freeze up slightly. “I hope… it had never seemed to you that I favor Zagreus too much. More than my own sons, I mean.”

“Um…” Hypnos looked away not sure how to respond to that; it seemed that way all the time, to him.

“Ah, so it did appear so…” Nyx hummed to herself, sounding disappointed. “At least accept my apology, then, for acting with any appearance of favoritism. If I was kinder to him, it was only because I feared his mother’s absence would be detrimental to him.”

Hypnos bit his lip holding back an obvious retort, but Nyx’s eyes widened slightly, and he knew she understood what he wanted to say regardless.

“Oh. And in doing so, I did exactly what I feared for him to you…” she realized aloud.

“It’s okay mom—” Hypnos started, but then caught himself making the same mistake he always did when talking to her. “S-sorry. I mean, Mother Nyx.”

“No, child. You need not correct yourself anymore. If it does not come naturally to address me formally, then it is pointless to force you to do so,” she shook her head. “In fact, I have realized as of late I rather prefer that you still address me informally. It is sometimes the only indication I have that we are still close…”

“Of course we’re still close,” Hypnos said, his voice small and a hesitant smile on his lips. “You’ll always be my mom, you know?”

“Yes. That is true,” she smiled back, and for a moment seemed like she might want to hug him or take his hands in hers, but faltered, and decided that was one step too far outside her comfort. “I am glad we can speak openly like this,” she said instead. “I realize how out of order my priorities used to be, especially in regards to you.”

“I’m glad too,” Hypnos nodded, and for once actually felt like some progress had been made in talking to his mother.

—

“Wow! Looks like you finally made it back to Elysium,” Hypnos complimented when he saw a familiar name listed as Zagreus’s cause of death: Asterius the minotaur. Zagreus was fully back in his old routine, leaving to attempt his escape, returning with his spoils to hand out as gifts, and then heading back out again to have another go. The only difference was he usually stuck around the house a little longer between each attempt to chat with Hypnos. He’d become quite fond of hearing Zagreus recount in detail his adventures through the underworld, even if he occasionally fell asleep halfway through.

“I did!” Zagreus nodded excitedly. “But that’s not all: I have something for you!”

“Oh?” Hypnos waited as Zagreus procured the item, fully expecting another bottle of nectar or ambroisa, when he revealed a piece of parchment. Hypnos gasped, realizing what it was before Zagreus had even shown it to him.

“No—it can’t be!” he said, and snatched it from his hand to see it was, in fact, an autograph from Asterius.

“It is,” Zagreus nodded. “He was so surprised to see me back in Elysium, you see, we actually had a little bit of time to chat before he… well, I’m sure you know what happened. But anyways, I had time to push my request, and surprisingly, he was more than happy to oblige.”

“Oh, wow… wow! And it’s addressed to me!” Hypnos interrupted, only half-listening to Zagreus’s story. “To Hypnos, my biggest fan. Stay vigilant. Asterius. There’s even a little picture of a bull!”

“Well. I’m glad you like it,” Zagreus smiled, his hands placed proudly on his hips.

“Oh, Zag you are just the best!” Hypnos beamed, lunging forward to hug him.

“Woah, hey,” Zagreus chuckled, almost stumbling over, but he caught himself and hugged Hypnos back.

“Wait, that reminds me!” Hypnos let him go just as fast, letting the excitement of the moment finally wash over how nervous he had been to mention this before: “I actually have something for you, too! I don’t have it on me, but it’s about time for my break anyways, so if you want to come to my room with me…?”

“Of course!” Zagreus nodded, looking pleasantly surprised.

“Great,” Hypnos smiled, and led him down the hall to his bedroom. Still giddy with happiness from the autograph in his hands, he kept giggling to himself the whole way there, and when they were inside took a moment to gently rest it on his desk and admire it for a moment more before he went to procure his gift for Zagreus.

“Um, so, okay. I feel like I should explain,” he said as he opened the drawer he was storing it in. “After you suggested that maybe it would be fun to make more dolls, I couldn’t quite get the idea out of my head, but I didn’t know what to make that wouldn’t be weird… until I realized that maybe a stuffed animal would be better? So I drew up some plans and found some fabric and buttons and… well, at some point I decided maybe you would like to have it when I was done and… anyways, here it is!” 

He held up his creation for Zagreus to appraise: a red stuffed dog with three heads, meant to look like a miniature recreation of Cerberus. 

Zagreus’s jaw hung open in awe at the sight of it, and then he gasped and covered his mouth, eyebrows lilting down as he reached out to touch one of the plush heads. 

“This is… the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,” he said, his voice strained like he might even cry.

“R-really? You like it that much?” Hypnos chuckled nervously. “Because obviously you don’t have to keep it if you don’t want—”

“No! I want it. I very, very much want it,” Zagreus said picking it up to hold in front of himself almost reverently. “Do you think this is what he looked like as a puppy?” he asked in a whisper, just staring at it, enamored.

“Um… I doubt he was ever that small,” Hypnos shrugged.

“Still. It’s perfect,” Zagreus sniffled, and then finally seemed to recollect himself, clearing his throat and looking back up at Hypnos. “Thank you so much. This is incredible, truly. You have so many hidden talents.”

“Aww, Zag, stop,” Hypnos blushed. 

“I almost want to show it to Cerberus, but he’d probably want to chew it up, so… better not,” Zagreus joked.

“Yeah?” Hypnos said. “What  _ are _ you going to do with it?”

“Hmm… I guess I’ll put it on my bed? Not that I ever really sleep, but it will certainly look nice there,” he decided.

“Oh, wow,” Hypnos chuckled, flushing further at the thought of something of his being on Zagreus’s bed. He mentally shooed away the butterflies in his stomach, though, reminding himself that things were better this way. If they got too attached, it would only hurt all the more when Zagreus finally made it out of there one day.

“Well, I’m glad you like it so much!” he said instead.

“Wait, Hypnos? Is this what you were working on when I came in here before? You know, when we… talked,” Zagreus blushed at the final word, and Hypnos knew exactly what he was talking about.

“Y-yeah, it was,” he nodded sheepishly. “How did you know?”

“Well, you were certainly hiding  _ something _ ,” Zagreus chuckled. “I just didn’t know it was a surprise gift, and for me of all people.”

“Of all people?” Hypnos giggled at the wording of it. “You know you’re basically my favorite person in the whole world, right?”

Zagreus flushed up again, lips parted but unable to form words, and Hypnos gulped, instantly regretting saying it. He’d _ just _ reminded himself exactly why it was a bad idea. 

“You’re… my favorite person, too,” Zagreus finally whispered, his hands tightening around the gift, scrunching the red, velvety fabric between tense fingers, and started to lean forward. For just a moment, Hypnos felt himself involuntarily floating towards him too, eyes locked and lips parted to draw in expectant breath, before at last he came to his senses and realized the horrible mistake they were about to make.

“Oh, gosh. Look at the time!” he ripped himself away, floating back and flitting his gaze about the room to avoid looking Zagreus in the eye again. “I really ought to get back to work!”

“Um, right, sorry,” Zagreus chuckled, averting his eyes as well. “I’ll just go… and put this in my room. Thanks again!”

“Of course!” Hypnos nodded, flicking his hands to urge him out of the room, though it seemed he didn’t need to be told, and was quickly gone. As soon as the door closed, Hypnos let out a long sigh and covered his face with his hands. He knew he was making the right decision—he knew he needed to let Zagreus leave and that getting involved with him so shortly beforehand would only make the inevitable more painful—but why did it have to be so difficult? Why did  _ he _ have to be so difficult, always blushing adorably, and giving Hypnos too many compliments, and trying to literally _ lean in to kiss him!  _

He took a deep breath, steadying the incessant fluttering of his heart, and tried to focus his mind on anything other than Zagreus (if such a task were even possible) so he could get back to work, like he’d said.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone needs to scream "Just kiss already!" at these two idiots....
> 
> At least things are going well for Hypnos otherwise? Tbh that convo with Nyx felt kind of weird to write, but I wanted him to have some kind of reconciliation with her before the fic ended so... close enough.


End file.
